People in my profession are paid huge amounts of money to keep murderers and rapists out of jail.
Sheeez...
And? You'd still ask him, wouldn't you?
yes. Just not at the time YOU think I should. When I think I should.
Of course not. But I would still want to speak to my children first to try to determine if they are lying before simply telling someone else to whack them with a wooden paddle. Maybe that's just me. But I would want my children to know that I am listening to them and not simply discounting them because of their age and because children that young sometimes lie to get out of trouble.
I don't see it as relevant in this issue.
In order to be up in the principles office facing a paddle, my son would have needed to have been caught doing something VERY serious.
Haranguing? You think this is what this discussion is?
It will come across that way if you pick over small details, Bells.
What do you think Neverfly?
Clearly, I think it is not wrong. You seem to think so. That is YOUR personal opinion.
I have my reasons for parenting my child as I do.
As do you for yours.
Is your son's word even more worthless?
No. But at that level, the admin carries more weight.
If I talk to my son first, it gives him the impression that he has control over the situation. It makes us answering to him when he must answer to authority.
For me to discuss it with him face to face is much more appropriate.
You seem to be still thinking he would land in that situation for something Minor, Bells. Is that what you think?
How can you do so when you said you would find it unlikely that you would discuss it with your son before giving the school administrators permission to hit him on his backside with a wooden paddle?
IF I GAVE PERMISSION, BELLS.
My intellect is not determined by whether I do things they way YOU think I should do them.
I posed it as a question, not a certainty.
Yet, above, you said, "before" instead of "if."
Sometimes they are, yes. I have had a school teacher who took perverse pleasure in beating her students with paddles, canes, rulers, her hand and sometimes her fist for small things like not getting a drawing exact or getting answers wrong in maths quiz. She once hit a child so much and so hard that he threw up in class and she forced his face into it. She even smacked a child's head, her own child mind you, into the blackboard because her daughter misspelled a few words in reading and writing comprehension when we were 7 years of age. I had another teacher who would lose the plot and simply beat the deaf kid in class every day, because he was frustrated that the deaf child could not always understand what he was saying in trying to lip read. I had a teacher who used to bend down in front of our desks and stare up our skirts and then rush back to the front of the class and sit and stare blankly at the ceiling with both his hands under the desk and out of site.
That is beyond angering to hear of such things...
Yet, coldly, I must remind you that this is part of why the rule is limited to admin. They must meet and discuss if they should, first. Then, they are monitored.
That's different than the horror you describe.
You will excuse me if I don't automatically find all teachers reliable.
No excuse needed. You're pleading an excellent case. Additionally, you are doing so when you have memories that are disturbed and you are composed.
My hat is off to you this time around.
My mother was a primary school teacher, who taught at the school where I and my classmates were subjected to abuse that left welts on our backs and fronts. She only found out after she walked into the bathroom as I undressed. After an investigation was launched by her reports to the school hierarchy, parents finally realised what their children were being subjected to in that class.
I would think would notice a welt much sooner... My son can't get a mark without me asking how he got it.
You must live in an ideal world where there are no bad people and all adults can be trusted around your child. How lovely for you.
No, I don't.
I could say you live in an ideal world where all children mind.
Bells, cops are monitored and enforced in how they behave. There are still bad ones out there.
But the MAJORITY of them are accountable and can be trusted.
The trust is very thin and easily broken.
And if your son tells you of his supposed crime, which is different to what you were told on the phone by the administrators and you see that your son is not lying? What then?
Heads will fly with the school district.
But I must ask you: Are the schools where you are ruled so badly? They are not like that here, I'm sure. I've attended MANY Schools here as has my son, so far.
None of these lying horrible admins and teachers have ever appeared.
After all, you know your son, don't you? You will usually be able to tell when he is lying or not. For example, I always know when my 4 year old is not being truthful because his voice becomes slightly high pitched and he cannot for the life of him make eye contact and he starts to talk more with his hands.
Usually I do and he often admits to it. He knows I have No Tolerance for lies.
A while back, he asked for cupcakes. I asked him if the lady that had the cupcakes had said he could have one. He said yes. I knew he was lying.
So I said to him, "You know better. Don't you lie to me. Go back to your room." It was a quiet tone of voice.
He said, "yes dad" and went to his room. The lady that had the cupcakes came later and said that he had just sat there crying softly and not talking. When she finally asked him what was wrong, he whimpered, "I lied to my dad and he's mad at me."
That was all it took. Since then, he's never told me that someone said he could have something that they did not say he could.
That's how he and I are.
Can you really see him facing a paddle? I don't think so. Maybe it is possible in the future, but I doubt it. We've ALWAYS had a very close and strong bond.
My son is always so happy and smiling. His teacher commented once, "There's a boy that KNOWS he is loved."
Teachers in general DO Care about students, here. They are not monsters.
Here is what you are missing. School Administrators can set the rules to what constitutes behaviour that would require being hit with a paddle.
And I am my sons Ultimate Authority. So school administrator gets to answer to ME.
I find it astounding that they used it for bullying.. Tell me, what kind of message does it send to a child that violence and bullying is wrong by hitting him with a wooden paddle?
LOL You have a point, there.
What do you think paddles are made from Neverfly?
Lumps of Trees.
Again, what do you think wooden paddles are made from?
It's not a 2x4 Bells.
It is NOT a 2x4 BELLS.
Ok?
NO more lies, Ok?
NOT a two by four from the Lumber yard... Got it?
You make a case, but you can be honest about it. Next, will you say it's a TREE itself?
Refer to above. And you still did not answer the question. Why are you avoiding it?
Which question?
Because given the post context, it looks as though this is referring to your third time asking what a paddle is made of. IN THE SAME POST.
HOW the HECK can I NOT have answered you when it was in the same Post?!
That's the SECOND time you have done that. It's rather mind boggling. I wonder what goes through your head when you accuse me of failing to answer your question when it's in the SAME post?
I mean... wow... seriously. Wow.
Tell me, who is going to consider the adult's behaviour?
Other adults.
By the way, your links do not say that spanking or hitting a child with a paddle is beneficial to the child.
I never said they did. Nor have I claimed it is beneficial to a child.
Nor has anyone ASKED that I provide evidence that it is.
What they show is that Normal Sane People come out of a spanking just fine. Not Physical Beatings and Abuse- Spankings.
What they show is that a Slap on the wrist is NOT considered Corporal Punishment.
What they show is what You and Tiassa asked me to provide: That Child Protective Services, a notoriously fearsome strict agency, does NOT declare spanking as Physical Abuse.
You still haven't supported your claims in this thread.
I have now.
Especially since I never claimed it was beneficial.
I claimed that it DOES seem necessary with some kids who are flat out of control.
IF You are claiming I ever said it was beneficial for children-- Guess what I will accuse you of doing, Bells?
