Cheating

[mikenostic]

Alcoholic, sorry. Ever wonder what made him turn to the bottle?
Geez. Why didn't you help him? Why just abandon him to that sort of misery?

Because she probably tried and couldn't. My dad's an alcoholic and after repeated attempts from both my mom, my stepmom after her, my current stepmom, and my dad's sister, to help him stop drinking, he still drinks daily and will probably drink himself to the grave. He's been arrested for DUI and driving w/o a license and spent almost 4 months in jail and still drinks daily.
Even after my three younger half sisters (from first stepmom) ex-communicated him for pretty much his drinking, he still drinks. I have done the same but for some other reasons. Yet even after none of his children want anything to do with him because of his drinking, he hasn't quit. What does that tell you?

 

[Orleander]

...I thought you wanted to know nothing about my personal life yet you keep referring and asking questions about it.

LMFAO. How's it feel?

A lot of people can get over knowingly being cheated on if the cheater isn't an ass about it. If a person gets cheated on over and over, I think they need to consider it may be them.
The guy I cheated on never found out. He found out about his wife because he caught her in their bed with another man. They got back together as soon as I stopped seeing him.
I'm not vain enough to think I devastated his world by breaking up with him.
I'm also not vain enough (like some) to think that I've never been cheated on. I've never caught a man cheating on me.

 

[shorty_37]

Because she probably tried and couldn't. My dad's an alcoholic and after repeated attempts from both my mom, my stepmom after her, my current stepmom, and my dad's sister, to help him stop drinking, he still drinks daily and will probably drink himself to the grave. He's been arrested for DUI and driving w/o a license and spent almost 4 months in jail and still drinks daily.
Even after my three younger half sisters (from first stepmom) ex-communicated him for pretty much his drinking, he still drinks. I have done the same but for some other reasons. Yet even after none of his children want anything to do with him because of his drinking, he hasn't quit. What does that tell you?

I spent 8 yrs trying to help him not that I give a fuk what
Xev thinks. She is just trying to get a rise......out of me, like
I have seen her do with other members.

 

[shorty_37]

you think its vain to think that someone has not cheated on you?
So what you assume that you husband has or is cheating on you?
although you have no indications otherwise.

 

[mikenostic]

Xev, Shorty, Orleander...

I'm I going to have to separate you three and administer mass spankings??

 

[Orleander]

you think its vain to think that someone has not cheated on you?
So what you assume that you husband has or is cheating on you?

No, I assume no man has cheated on me because I have never caught a man cheating on me.
I am not arrogant enough to say no man has ever cheated on me. How would I possibly know that?

Twist it how ever you see fit.

 

[Orleander]

Xev, Shorty, Orleander...

I'm I going to have to separate you three and administer mass spankings??

yes please!!!
perv!

 

[Xev]

Shorty, you seem fascinated by Orleander's and my personal life, so I asked a few about yours. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings -- not that you really deserve that, since you don't care about how you treat other people, but I didn't mean to.

And in response to your query, the reference is to a relationship that lasted, in various incarnations, for about a year and some odd months.
Shit, we're still friends.

Mikenostic:

haha. I'm not butt hurt about anything. Orleander didn't do it to me so it doesn't really bother me. But your statement 'he needs to man up' could EASILY be misconstrued as you saying that it was the guy's fault because she cheated on him. You do know that a lot of women that cheat will still tend to blame the guy she cheated on for the reason she cheated.

Heh, I just wanted to sneak in the line about Minority Report.

Okay, but I was referring to after the fact.
And I'll take your word on it - generally, that sort of weak willed person doesn't last long as a friend.

 

[EmptyForceOfChi]

Lack of self control and the inability to commit is not something that affects only men. Women have equally able to be unfaithful.

men naturaly sleep around more than women and have stronger sexual urges and desires to mate. its well documented that males of most animal species including humans tend to search for mates more than females.

men seek to spread the seed into as many females as possible. and women seek to find a stable providing and secure strong man to raise children with.

its just simple nature, thats why its harder for men to stay faithful than it is for women,

peace.

 

[mikenostic]

Let's clear all this shit up.

Orleander, from a raw, technical standpoint, what you did would be considered cheating. HOWEVER, it seems that that was a very messed up situation to begin with. While I don't condone cheating in any fashion, I can see why things turned out the way they did. You posted this in a thread on here asking whether or not you cheated. I think the overwhelming majority agrees that you did.
What most intrigues me is if you learned something from this experience (the relationship/cheating part, not this thread) and would you ever do it again?
I would sincerlely hope that you would never date someone for a year that you didn't love/were in love with.

Now, where were we? Oh yeah...on with the :spank: ings!

 

[shorty_37]

Shorty, you seem fascinated by Orleander's and my personal life, so I asked a few about yours. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings -- not that you really deserve that, since you don't care about how you treat other people, but I didn't mean to.

Xev you can shove your half assed apology up your ass.
You think you hurt my feelings.......give me a break. I have
been through and experienced more life then you can prob
imagine.........and you think a stupid kid is going to make me :bawl:,

 

[Xev]

shorty, hun, I think your ability to detect sarcasm is seriously broken.

I have
been through and experienced more life then you can prob
imagine.........

Wow, it's like a retarded:

........I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.....

 

[Orleander]

...Orleander, from a raw, technical standpoint, what you did would be considered cheating. ...I would sincerlely hope that you would never date someone for a year that you didn't love/were in love with....

Yeah, I figured out the cheating part by page 2 of this thread. I thought it was a yes or no question. WRONG!! And even though we dated for a year, its not like either of us was wasting the others time. He knew where I stood on the whole love thing. It was what it was.
I just never expected so much moral outrage by so many atheists.

It was 13 yrs ago and I married that other man. Right thing to do, wrong way to handle it. Live and learn.

oh and Shorty, :frust: lighten up already

 

[Oli]

Oli:
And kittens are happy when you play with them, but that has nothing to do with the discussion at hand.

About whether it was cheating or not?
Certainly - but threads don't stay on topic.
Consider me chastised.

 

[Xev]

Oli:

About whether it was cheating or not?
Certainly - but threads don't stay on topic.
Consider me chastised.

Not yet, you haven't been....

 

[Oli]

Oli:
Not yet, you haven't been....

Not sure about the paddle, but dressed like that...
and you said it would never work between us...

 

[Xev]

Dude. I want, want, want a pair of red velvet booty shorts.

Nope, but they ARE adversely affected by that particular action.
Trust is hard to regain once you find you've been cheated on.

On a serious note, I'm going to dispute you on this. You choose to become embittered after a bad relationship -- shit, you can choose to become embittered before even being in a relationship.

And you choose to stay that way., most generally because it's easiest to be an asshole if you feel hurt. People use it as license to be a dick -- I can play headgames with my boyfriend, because all men are just going to leave me anyway. I can cheat on my girlfriend, because my ex cheated on me!

Part of this just generally stems from a new cultural awareness of pain - we have the medico-social structures in place to avoid pain for most of our lives, so we're growing up soft, and we try to make it into something creative, but we just fucking fail because we don't have the right ideas or support, or shit, even the right sort of suffering.

So what do we do? We try, and we end up whining about how traumatized we were by petty shit like a girlfriend or boyfriend cheating.

 

[Oli]

Dude. I want, want, want a pair of red velvet booty shorts.

Umm...

On a serious note, I'm going to dispute you on this. You choose to become embittered after a bad relationship -- shit, you can choose to become embittered before even being in a relationship.

Choose? CHOOSE?
After being shit on several times in a row I wouldn't say I chose to be embittered - I'm not.
I just avoid relationships altogether now...

And you choose to stay that way., most generally because it's easiest to be an asshole if you feel hurt. People use it as license to be a dick

And I am widely considered to be the only true gentleman in the town - by women.

I can play headgames with my boyfriend, because all men are just going to leave me anyway. I can cheat on my girlfriend, because my ex cheated on me!

Twisted.
I don't play headgames - I always play straight and that's what screws them up. They're looking for hidden motivations.

So what do we do? We try, and we end up whining about how traumatized we were by petty shit like a girlfriend or boyfriend cheating.

Petty?
Difference in perspective, obviously.
If you believe you're in a relationship and find out you were wrong then it's time in your life wasted and betrayed.

 

[Xev]

Oli:

Choose? CHOOSE?
After being shit on several times in a row I wouldn't say I chose to be embittered - I'm not.
I just avoid relationships altogether now...

They're a fairly modern concept anyway. Love was once the provence of a few -- artists, aristocrats, poets, thinkers. Now it's a supposed given, a democratic sinkhole.
Look how -- shoddy and forlorn our discourse about love is, now.

Anyways I am not really talking about relationships here. I have a Myspace if I feel that urge.

 

[Oli]

Oli:
They're a fairly modern concept anyway. Love was once the provence of a few -- artists, aristocrats, poets, thinkers. Now it's a supposed given, a democratic sinkhole.

Well I have been accused of being old-fashioned.
Provence?
Like in the south of France?
Ooh la la ma cherie.

Look how -- shoddy and forlorn our discourse about love is, now.

Like the real thing?

Anyways I am not really talking about relationships here. I have a Myspace if I feel that urge.

WTF is a Myspace?