Cheating

It's a shitty thing to do.

In my, and I hope every other reasonable person's head you need to end it with someone before you move on to the next person.

Preferably with a little 'It'll look shitty if I get involved with someone else so soon' time in between.

But then that isn't the way life works.

It's still a shitty thing.
 
Orleander said:
Even the girls said "He dumped me for so and so" The guy only cheated if he stayed with you. Its just how it was.
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That's high school, but aren't you much older than that now? You've only just thought to question it? What about at the time it happened? Take the compliment that I've already said, I'm shocked that you haven't thought about this subject before!
And I am questioning it, which is why I posted the question here, you grumpybutt. Lord love a duck!
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Ducks give good oral - no teeth.
Did every woman you know cheat on you? :rolleyes:
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What few I've gone anywhere near yes, and not just me either I've watched it happen to my friends too. Modern world and all that jazz. I'm happily better off without people like that until a decent woman shows up, hopefully with maturity beyond that of kindergarten.:rolleyes:
And when I saw him last, he was back with his wife. he may have said he loved me, but he obviously still loved her. Who used who? Nobody.
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I only objected to your reasoning and "I taught him a few things in the sack, therefore he got something good out of it" attitude. Unless you believe that's one of the reasons he was with you or it's important. Really there's too many variables, frankly without the entire information of your relationship you can only guess as to who used who for what. I left that to the baron, I couldn't care less by the way.
You don't think he could have loved you and her? That his love for her was fading until you ditched him and then it came back with her taking him back? Funny thing is love. Good for him though, not sure why you felt the need to share that part actually it's totally irrelevant.:confused:
 
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Anti-Flag said:
You don't think he could have loved you and her? That his love for her was fading until you ditched him and then it came back with her taking him back? Funny thing is love. Good for him though, not sure why you felt the need to share that part actually it's totally irrelevant.:confused:
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If nobody got hurt, what's the problem?
Reinforcing that p'raps?

I don't know if Orleander's that sly. Maybe :)
 
Used him for sex!! LMAO. Hold up your thumb. That's what he had to work with. The man only knew 1 position when I met him!
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That's just about the right number for a man, he gets just about the same satisfaction regardless of a position.The rest crap is for a woman. The woman who would leave him as soon as it will suit her needs (real or perceived) regardless of the number positions he's tried.

He was a devout preacher's kid and he was going through a divorce from the first woman he ever dated. His family didn't like me because I was too outspoken (even though we never talked about religion). I have a hard time falling in love with someone who isn't even divorced yet.
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Wow, one can try to make oneself to fall in love (whatever that means), why have you bothered in the first place? You've sent the man directly to the hell since he was not divorced yet:) You couldn't find a single man to try to fall in love?

But I liked him A LOT.
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That must have made him proud. Have you told him "let's just be the friends" at least?
I had my own place, he had his own place. Both of us were monogamous because that's just how we were raised. As many dates as he took me on is how many meals I cooked for him. And he learned some new bed skills.
I AM NOT A USER!
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Sounds like you didn't need a man at all except for the unsuccessful trying to fall in love with (until a better suitor has happened around). You must be such an altruistic person to selflessly bring preacher's son from darkness of missionary position to the neon light of whatever you had there, not waiting for divorce (that's quite monogamous).

But yeah, I can see how it may have been cheating. (I married man #2)
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Wow, you have changed heart, and jumped in a bed in no time at all as for a monogamous person. You were in such a hurry that you had no time to say preacher's boy goodbye. Oh well, at least his life never will be the same after those positions he's learnt from you. Hopefully person #2 would fare much better if you'll meet person #3 and fall in love. Love is a bitch, today it's here, tomorrow it is there. You have just one life to chase it down.
 
Women are always looking for rational ways/excuses to rationalize whatever illogical thing they've done.
I mean they'll start dating a total jerk; no job, womanizer, leech, etc. but if the chemistry is there, they'll start looking for excuses to rationalize dating them.
I have a hard time falling in love with someone who isn't even divorced yet. But I liked him A LOT.
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Yet you dated him for a fuckin year? ('liked him a LOT' was an attempt to rationalize totally illogical behavior; dating a guy for a year that you weren't in love with.
I'm not going to date a girl that I'm not in love with for a year.




Yeah, you cheated Orleander, and you're trying to rationalize it by attempting to get validation from this thread; why else would you start a thread about it?
 
mikenostic said:
...Yet you dated him for a fuckin year? ('liked him a LOT' was an attempt to rationalize totally illogical behavior; dating a guy for a year that you weren't in love with.
I'm not going to date a girl that I'm not in love with for a year.

Yeah, you cheated Orleander, and you're trying to rationalize it by attempting to get validation from this thread; why else would you start a thread about it?
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I'm not rationalizing any cheating. I even said "But yeah, I can see how it may have been cheating".
I was saying I didn't use him. If he really loved me he would have divorced her, so I held on to as much of my heart as I could.
 
Orleander said:
I'm not rationalizing any cheating. I even said "But yeah, I can see how it may have been cheating".
I was saying I didn't use him. If he really loved me he would have divorced her, so I held on to as much of my heart as I could.
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Oh, you are not only cheater, you are DELIBERATE family breaker :) The family of a man whom you even DID NOT love to boot.
 
phonetic said:
I'd agree. I was suggesting that's what Orleander was trying to say.
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Possibly, but I'm not convinced he wouldn't have been hurt by it. To be fair I take a lot of things like this with a pinch of salt, especially when they're a one-sided viewpoint. I really should see a doctor I have an exceedingly high salt intake.;)
 
Lord love a duck. This will teach me to ask a question.

I had nothing to do with his marriage breaking up. She was already out and gone by the time I asked him out. I didn't even know he was married at the time.

And if a woman is made to cheat, she'll date you Dixon, its what we do. Its what we live for.
 
Orleander said:
its what we do. Its what we live for.
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Are you collective woman's consciousness trapped in internet wires :)? Consumerism has reached all areas of human life, there is no escape, just bumping into countless "love hunters" (whatever that word means these days):(
 
Orleander said:
Lord love a duck. This will teach me to ask a question.
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Haha only one you know perfectly well the answer to. :p Accept the predictable response, feel guilty for doing wrong and learn not to do it again. You're not the first and won't be the last to do something wrong and have to feel bad for it so chill! C'est la vie. I gave you credit(and still do) for being objective and bright, though I'll take it back if you prefer? ;)
Regardless since then the discussion is moving towards details of the relationship etc which I'd prefer to keep out of.
I'm just saying cheating hurts, there are virtually no exceptions to this, people may try and hide it, it may hurt less if they have more experience with it or if they don't care so much about the person but it usually still hurts to a degree; Even if only wounded pride and confidence.
 
I swear I thought as long as the relationship immediately ended, it wasn't cheating. And it ended the next time I saw him.
So I didn't know the answer to the question.
 
Orleander said:
I'm not rationalizing any cheating. I even said "But yeah, I can see how it may have been cheating".
I was saying I didn't use him. If he really loved me he would have divorced her, so I held on to as much of my heart as I could.
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I will reiterate the fact that you dated him for a year KNOWING that he was still not yet divorced. Yet you still held on to as much of your heart as you could. Sounds like an attempt to rationalize a situation where a mere teaspoonful of common sense would say; 'hey, he's still married. logic would tell me to leave him alone because this could only end badly.' Yet you DID find some way to rationalize it because, as you mentioned, you dated him for a year with the knowledge he was not divorced.
 
You see male companion ppl of SciForum, you see why I am like this? It's because of the females, they make me like this. I ask you look into my heart and see that I am screwed up not cuz of natural causes but because of my parents / women. I shall endevour to find a female for mating purposes, but in the end this is an example of how I should avoid them all-together (as Baron Max tells me constantly).
 
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