Cheating
- Thread starter Orleander
- Start date
get a room the lot of you
I think in several animal species (chimps, bonobos, wood pigeons!) the females mate with several males when they are 'in season'. In evolutionary terms she's hedging her bets in the hope that the strongest genes will be passed on.
A number of surveys in recent times have suggested that about 30% of males and and a very similar percentage of females SAY they cheat. Who knows if they or the others that said they weren't are telling the truth.
I think in several animal species (chimps, bonobos, wood pigeons!) the females mate with several males when they are 'in season'. In evolutionary terms she's hedging her bets in the hope that the strongest genes will be passed on.
A number of surveys in recent times have suggested that about 30% of males and and a very similar percentage of females SAY they cheat. Who knows if they or the others that said they weren't are telling the truth.
Correct.
Oh wait - that's only correct if she cheats and has children - when it's just for sex then it's not part of the "strongest genes" is it?
Er, no. I meant cheating to have a child i.e. become pregnant to the man you're cheating with, as opposed to the man you're currently seeing/ cheating on.
Xev dear, not everyone, in fact, not many people at all, can let stuff like that just roll off their shoulders quickly as you imply that you can. Good on you for having that mentality. I wish I did. I think I'd be a lot happier if I could.
I'm following you on this one. And per the aforementioned response above, while I don't think a lot of people can just let shit like that roll off their shoulders, I will say that, in agreement with your statement here, they can choose to not use it as a license to be an ass. I still feel a lot of resentment and anger from various shit that has happened to me in the last few months. And while I just can't let it roll off my shoulders (as hard as I've tried), I harbor it as much as I can and do not take it out on anyone else. If I feel that I'm getting to that point, I just avoid people altogether.
Just a speculation but humanity has been suffering since its creation. I'm thinking that humanity is tired of all the suffering(even though we continue to fight about our differences). I think it's the reason that we have created all this technology to try to make our lives better; and it has, to an extent, but it's also making us lazy and fickle at the same time.
I don't think you'll get many people to agree with you that a b/f or g/f cheating is petty; yeah, it may be a petty act, but the person being cheated on doesn't think it's petty.Xev said:
It seems to me that you are trying to say that people should just let shit like this go? If that's what your saying, then you are also implying that you advocate cheating.
Exampe: say everyone does start living your nifty little idea. I start dating a girl. I want to sleep with another girl in the meantime. I think 'oh, since we all let shit go easy now, I can go nail this other girl and even if the girl I'm dating finds out, she'll let it go and we will be just hunky dory'.
That's how I've interpreted your last statement there. If I misinterpreted it, please correct me.
I found this on msnbc a few minutes ago. While this doesn't cover but only a fraction of what I was talking about above (not being able to let something just roll off your shoulders), it does show a bit what I'm talking about. It also doesn't just include this disorder. It can also include bi-polarity, ADHD (which I have been diagnosed with), Anxiety (a real big one where anger and reaction is concerned) and some others. There is a good chunk of the general population that have one or more of these disorders, and w/o meds (and sometimes even with meds), they can't help their reactions.
What happens when a girl dates a guy with this disorder, then cheats on him and breaks up with him?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19424928/
You're telling me that he just needs to get over her petty actions?
Lord love a duck!! How does cheating even figure into this? What if she just breaks up with him? These are the men who ignore protection orders, stalk, harass, etc. You don't need to cheat on them to anger them.
What do you think a guy like that would do if a woman cheated on him and he found out?
And I posted all of that in response to Xev's statement about how people shouldn't get all butt-hurt and pissy when someone cheats on them. I then said some people cannot let stuff roll of their shoulders. I ALSO mentioned that people with that specific disorder was only a fraction of the people that I was talking about.
Yeah you don't need to cheat on them to anger them but would they or would they not get angered if you did cheat on them??
As in "I thought he looked shaggable, so I went for it, even though I can't get pregnant?"
mikenostic:
I'm not saying that they can, or that I can.
But there are such things as hard work and self-analysis. You can force yourself to treat people well, you can force yourself to give them the benefit of the doubt, and you can force yourself out of that mentality.
Basically, we're talking about the same thing.
And, my condolences on whatever it was.
Look, I don't mean to say that it's easy. I've gone through forcing myself out of that, and I'm STILL nowhere near complete. But it should be done.
I agree with everything you've just said.
People should do whatever the fuck they need to do.
(As long as it isn't hurting other people)
And no, I'm not. Maybe I'm advocating a less vindictive way of dealing with it than is culturally considered correct, but I know a few people in "open relationships" -- they wouldn't define it as such, but basically allowed cheating.
And while they claim that monogamy is unnatural, and that you can have "many loves," I've never seen such sleazy, drama-prone, fake people.
It comes down to the ability to honor commitments, and people who just can't do that are lesser people.
Oli:
Chivalry as you imagine it has little to nothing in common with the practice of courtly love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtly_love
Old-fashioned men are assholes, anyway.
Ah, then you cannot have been in love. I assure you, it's not shoddy.
Maybe forlorn.
I'm not saying that they can, or that I can.
But there are such things as hard work and self-analysis. You can force yourself to treat people well, you can force yourself to give them the benefit of the doubt, and you can force yourself out of that mentality.
Basically, we're talking about the same thing.
And, my condolences on whatever it was.
Look, I don't mean to say that it's easy. I've gone through forcing myself out of that, and I'm STILL nowhere near complete. But it should be done.
I agree with everything you've just said.
People should do whatever the fuck they need to do.
(As long as it isn't hurting other people)
And no, I'm not. Maybe I'm advocating a less vindictive way of dealing with it than is culturally considered correct, but I know a few people in "open relationships" -- they wouldn't define it as such, but basically allowed cheating.
And while they claim that monogamy is unnatural, and that you can have "many loves," I've never seen such sleazy, drama-prone, fake people.
It comes down to the ability to honor commitments, and people who just can't do that are lesser people.
Oli:
Chivalry as you imagine it has little to nothing in common with the practice of courtly love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtly_love
Old-fashioned men are assholes, anyway.
Ah, then you cannot have been in love. I assure you, it's not shoddy.
Maybe forlorn.
*Shrug*
Personal tastes . Who wants a date who'll try to buy sex with a lot of sucking up and some decent food, when you can cuddle and listen to trance with a cute raver boy?
But most women do not agree.
I don't think the aftermath is shoddy, either.
--Edit --
"are assholes" should be "tend to be assholes."
Personal tastes . Who wants a date who'll try to buy sex with a lot of sucking up and some decent food, when you can cuddle and listen to trance with a cute raver boy?
But most women do not agree.
I don't think the aftermath is shoddy, either.
--Edit --
"are assholes" should be "tend to be assholes."
Buy sex?
Not ever in my life.
If she wants me she has to say so, or at least make definite hints.
If I buy her a meal it's because I want to buy her a meal, and that's it.
And FYI, I'm a first-class cuddler, according to several women in my life.
Different experiences.
Okay, I'll stop crying then.
Oli:
As I said, it's personal taste. Most girls enjoy being treated like sexual objects, and that's okay for them. I find such mercenary tactics to be humiliating, but most people don't really have a sense of dignity anyway.
Different experiences or different takes. Sometimes the comedown can be appreciated.
As I said, it's personal taste. Most girls enjoy being treated like sexual objects, and that's okay for them. I find such mercenary tactics to be humiliating, but most people don't really have a sense of dignity anyway.
Different experiences or different takes. Sometimes the comedown can be appreciated.
no that wasnt cheating!!
i personally think that cheating is just a symptom of an unhappy relationship, yopu jump into bed with the nearest girl/guy and then most often that not you regret it. cheating is never ever a good why to deal with anything