Contributing to the problem
I don't think anybody is contesting that point in particular, Draqon. As Simon Anders noted in #38:
At some point, we must look to the men. I've let incidents of domestic violence pass unreported. Indeed, many men do. This, in the end, only contributes to the problem.
In February, I made a point about domestic violence against men in response to a member's specific complaint about inequality between the sexes:
And in this case the point is clear: One of the ways to make women face up to their perpetration of domestic violence is to report the incident and have them prosecuted. When those numbers go up, society will be forced to undertake a fairly broad reformulation of its domestic violence policies.
Likewise, one of the problems in addressing rape as a social phenomenon is that victims are often unwilling to report it. As I noted recently in citing a specific incident:
For the longest time, women who reported domestic violence or rape faced the possibility of ending up homeless, with their children in the custody of a violent, manipulative, and exploitative man. This, indeed, is the major impetus for battered women's shelters.
Does men's reluctance to report domestic violence occur in the same context? Perhaps, but one of the primary reasons discussed so far is social pride: they don't want to be seen as a pussy°. Other reasons might be that the man would rather try to have sex with the woman instead of sit home alone with the kids while she spends the night in jail, or, as in my case on one occasion, I simply wasn't going to send the woman allegedly carrying my child to a jail cell. (On the other, I attempted an internal solution involving our families; this did not achieve great progress, since she was inclined to lie, her father to excuse her, and her mother to worry more about how many vegetables our daughter was eating.)
We all have our reasons for not reporting domestic violence, but we must acknowledge that, in the end, we are in fact contributing to the general phenomenon.
___________________
Notes:
° they don't want to be seen as a pussy — Is anyone not aware of the irony that comes with pretending misandry is socially and psychologically equivalent to misogyny? Women insulting one another still call each other bitch. Calling a woman a "dick" does not bear similar denigration to calling a man a "pussy", "cunt", or "faggot", all of which attempt to insult the man by feminizing him. While domestic violence against men is no small issue, indeed is one demanding address, it seems a strange pretense that the phenomena are so similar.
Draqon said:
I don't think anybody is contesting that point in particular, Draqon. As Simon Anders noted in #38:
"When women do something bad the focus is on women. When men do something bad the focus is on women. How can we change the women."
At some point, we must look to the men. I've let incidents of domestic violence pass unreported. Indeed, many men do. This, in the end, only contributes to the problem.
In February, I made a point about domestic violence against men in response to a member's specific complaint about inequality between the sexes:
Now, just stop and think about all the history that goes into the social conditions that compel men to not report domestic violence. Just think about it for a minute. Because that isn't "women's fault". It's all of our faults. So instead of getting pissed off about the Violence Against Women Act, which responded to specific problems in society, start asking about why men, and also society in general have not taken certain steps. It's not because NOW or any other group of women are holding back such efforts. So stop blaming them for our inadequacy. Stop blaming our mothers for our fathers' doing (or lack thereof) ....
(#1764572/73)
(#1764572/73)
And in this case the point is clear: One of the ways to make women face up to their perpetration of domestic violence is to report the incident and have them prosecuted. When those numbers go up, society will be forced to undertake a fairly broad reformulation of its domestic violence policies.
Likewise, one of the problems in addressing rape as a social phenomenon is that victims are often unwilling to report it. As I noted recently in citing a specific incident:
Then again, she should have called the police. The next woman he attacks might not get away.
(#1896795/90)
(#1896795/90)
For the longest time, women who reported domestic violence or rape faced the possibility of ending up homeless, with their children in the custody of a violent, manipulative, and exploitative man. This, indeed, is the major impetus for battered women's shelters.
Does men's reluctance to report domestic violence occur in the same context? Perhaps, but one of the primary reasons discussed so far is social pride: they don't want to be seen as a pussy°. Other reasons might be that the man would rather try to have sex with the woman instead of sit home alone with the kids while she spends the night in jail, or, as in my case on one occasion, I simply wasn't going to send the woman allegedly carrying my child to a jail cell. (On the other, I attempted an internal solution involving our families; this did not achieve great progress, since she was inclined to lie, her father to excuse her, and her mother to worry more about how many vegetables our daughter was eating.)
We all have our reasons for not reporting domestic violence, but we must acknowledge that, in the end, we are in fact contributing to the general phenomenon.
___________________
Notes:
° they don't want to be seen as a pussy — Is anyone not aware of the irony that comes with pretending misandry is socially and psychologically equivalent to misogyny? Women insulting one another still call each other bitch. Calling a woman a "dick" does not bear similar denigration to calling a man a "pussy", "cunt", or "faggot", all of which attempt to insult the man by feminizing him. While domestic violence against men is no small issue, indeed is one demanding address, it seems a strange pretense that the phenomena are so similar.
