Question: what do muslim women get in heaven?

hef

I would print out all the Hadith, roll it up nicely and use it for toilet paper.

looks like i wont be servicing your ass anytime soon
 
Originally posted by Flores
If I were you, I would print out all the Hadith, roll it up nicely and use it for toilet paper. Hadith is garbage corrupt bible equivalent crap. The Quran told us that Prophet Muhammed is not a teacher, just a messanger of the Quran only
How many other muslims believe that? are you a MINO (Muslim In Name Only ? I thought that between the quran & the Hadith, that made the Sunni way? Are you saying that that is not the case? or just among the liberal muslims?
 
Originally posted by Randolfo
How many other muslims believe that? are you a MINO (Muslim In Name Only ? I thought that between the quran & the Hadith, that made the Sunni way? Are you saying that that is not the case? or just among the liberal muslims?

Shut up, you don't believe in Islam and thus by default is not qualified to assess qualities of a true Muslim. On that matter, noone is qualified to assess the spiritual qualities of another soul except for god. What they hell do you know about true Islam? About submission to god, about walking the path? Your path is a cookie butter bunch of chores, and my path is my life which you know nothing of. You know nothing whatsoever...so shut your yap and mind your failing christian business that you manage on the side of your life like a candy shop......As you have noticed, I don't frequent Sheiks to tell me about how well I'm running and my life and I'm not about to obtain spiritual guidance from a pagan, just to tell me what Islam is all about.

The Quran supports my notion that Hadith is bullshit. God tells Muhammed so many times in the Quran that he is not a teacher, merely a messanger for transmitting the Quran. Of course, that doesn't stop people from following the prophet around during his private life and memorizing how many times did he fart a day and making it a Sunna. Please grow up, changing your diaper as frequent as you have been needing lately is starting to become an offensive task.

The Cow
[2.272] To make them walk in the right way is not incumbent on you, but Allah guides aright whom He pleases; and whatever good thing you spend, it is to your own good; and you do not spend but to seek Allah's pleasure; and whatever good things you spend shall be paid back to you in full, and you shall not be wronged.
The Dinner Table
[5.99] Nothing is (incumbent) on the Apostle but to deliver (the message), and Allah knows what you do openly and what you hide.
 
Re: hef

Originally posted by spookz
I would print out all the Hadith, roll it up nicely and use it for toilet paper.

looks like i wont be servicing your ass anytime soon

Did I ask for your stinking service? Or are you just so at home soliciting your ass service?
 
Originally posted by okinrus
The Quran doesn't exactly call the bible crap does it? Your animosity against the bible is greater than Muhammed's, which should tell you something.
I have no animosity againest Prophet Muhammed. I don't have to follow in some pagan arabs footsteps just because they labeled it Muhammed. Saudis have called the tooth brush evil in the name of Hadith and only floss their teath with special stick from olives, because Prophet Muhammed never brushed and only flossed with that.

Prophet Muhammed lived his life the best way he knew how....He's not a teacher and his life is not meant to be frozen and applied two thousands years later.

PS. I apologize for calling the bible crap.. It's partially crap, not totally crap. The original Injil on the other hand is some good quality work.
 
Originally posted by Michael
I really didn't know what Hadith was/is? If it's all crap why is it still around? Do Muslims use it? If so are there many who do and if so why?

I'm glad you ask Michael.

People sometimes fall in love so much with a heroic figure and cling to it for guidance. They are afraid to loose their hero and build so many statues and stuff to keep the hero alive even after death.They forget that being a hero about unique hard accomplishments and not about glorifying or following the footsteps of another.

Similarly, Prophet Muhammed was loved so much. People could tell the difference and the improvement that happened in the society after the adoption of Islam. People were afraid of the day when Prophet Muhammed will die and the message will dissipate. They tried to record all his life even the very privacy of conversation with his wife during sex. His wife for example would mention to her girl friend that it felt great as Prophet Muhammed played with her dolls or rubbed her you know what, and all of a sudden, it becomes a Hadith narrated by his wife.

Prophet Muhammed may be walking the street and a woman ask him what should she do with her abusive husband and the advise that is given by the prophet in a private conversation again becomes a Hadith. Prophet Muhammed have never reviewed the Hadith or even spoke of it in another Hadith. The world Sunna is meant to imply the way of life. The Sunnah of Muhammed belongs to Muhammed, while each one of us need their own Sunnah or way of life. We make our own Sunnah, we can't follow prophet Muhammed Sunnah, because we are not simply Prophet Muhammed.

They followed him around and recorded anything that they could put their hand on for fear of loosing him, they literally wrote about how he cleaned himself, how he had sex, what he mumbeled to himself when he farted, what he craved for food, his favorite color, ect, and then he died like every one else and those still stuck in understanding why green was his favorite color or why he loved to eat dates have no time to live their own lives and find for themselves for once which color do they really like.
 
This is what they get...

1. they get their virginity back so that they may have the honor of servicing a martyr's urges.

2. glowy burqhas.

3. freedom from competing with a goat for their man's affection.

4. all the falafel they can eat.

5. sons that don't blow up

6. and... a 8x12" autographed picture of Mohammed
 
Originally posted by Flores
Shut up, you don't believe in Islam and thus by default is not qualified to assess qualities of a true Muslim.
Using your logic I take it that that applies to your qualifications for judging Christianity, so shut up about that, oh, don't expect me to shut up, with all your input & previous reading, I'm now an expert on islam
and I don't follow your rules any way, bah


:p


The Quran supports my notion that Hadith is bullshit. God tells Muhammed so many times in the Quran that he is not a teacher, merely a messanger for transmitting the Quran. Of course, that doesn't stop people from following the prophet around during his private life and memorizing how many times did he fart a day and making it a Sunna.
the vast majority of muslims don't believe that, if I quoted you in a muslim website, would they jump all over me for being anti-muslim with those statements?

:confused:
 
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I have no animosity againest Prophet Muhammed. I don't have to follow in some pagan arabs footsteps just because they labeled it Muhammed. Saudis have called the tooth brush evil in the name of Hadith and only floss their teath with special stick from olives, because Prophet Muhammed never brushed and only flossed with that.</b></i>
I would agree with you for not following the Hadith like a rule book but using sources above the Quran might give a more historical perspective on some parts of the Quran. For example, St.Jerome gave arguments of using apocrypha works in order to get a better interpretation.

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Prophet Muhammed lived his life the best way he knew how....He's not a teacher and his life is not meant to be frozen and applied two thousands years later.</b></i>
He's not a teacher? It's a bit late wouldn't you say? Nevertheless, saiah said that we would all see all our Teacher and Jesus too said to only let the Messiah be their Teacher.

PS. I apologize for calling the bible crap.. It's partially crap, not totally crap. The original Injil on the other hand is some good quality work.
If someone followed everything that Jesus said, I think they would be a pretty good person. On the other hand, what would you think of someone who follows everything the Quran says rule by rule?
 
Originally posted by SnakeLord
Otherwise known as god.

God is not a hero. God is the creator. I'm not in love with god, I'm in submission to the power of the universe.
 
Originally posted by okinrus
I would agree with you for not following the Hadith like a rule book but using sources above the Quran might give a more historical perspective on some parts of the Quran. For example, St.Jerome gave arguments of using apocrypha works in order to get a better interpretation.


Okinrus, if I would choose a Hadith to follow most of all, I would choose the one that Prophet Muhammed supposidly told Ali his cousin.

When Ali asked Prophet Muhammed how do people know what to do while there is so much information out there, so many interpretations, so many Fatwas. Prophet Muhammed simply answered, use your heart to guide you.

I act similiarly, I don't denouce all the Hadith, but I use my heart to judge their validity, accuracy, and importance, and I'm not interested in discussing those Hadith with others, because the Hadith is my backup for understanding the Quran while using my own heart as a guide.
He's not a teacher? It's a bit late wouldn't you say? Nevertheless, saiah said that we would all see all our Teacher and Jesus too said to only let the Messiah be their Teacher.


Originally posted by okinrus
If someone followed everything that Jesus said, I think they would be a pretty good person. On the other hand, what would you think of someone who follows everything the Quran says rule by rule?

Yes he is not a teacher, and he is not to make people go in the right path. That is said repeatedly in the Quran. Prophet Muhammed is merely a messanger of the message, and his only obligation is to reveal what god have entrusted him with, and I believe the Messiah never used the word teach for a prophet, but the word show them, to imply that the Messiah will show us the message that god have hidden within him.
 
Originally posted by Randolfo

the vast majority of muslims don't believe that, if I quoted you in a muslim website, would they jump all over me for being anti-muslim with those statements?

:confused:

I don't care about any vast majority, and you'll never find me in a muslim website. I only state my believes and I'm not looking for a vast majority to confirm what I feel.
 
Originally posted by SnakeLord
god is a fictional being, just like the mothman and the good old guitar playing turnip of mount hoogleboogle.

And what does that make you, the turnip uncle perhaps???
Since you are already there at the mount assuming the turnip position, could you perhaps tell us about the weather in hoogleboogle, we rarely get news from there.
 
Since you are already there at the mount assuming the turnip position

Well then, by that same token you must have been there at the time of creation to be able to say there is a creator. So Flores, you lucky person, tell us what it was like heh. Or are you just relying on the word of daft fuckers who thought the world was flat and that 4 angels carried the wind?
 
Originally posted by SnakeLord
Well then, by that same token you must have been there at the time of creation to be able to say there is a creator. So Flores, you lucky person, tell us what it was like heh.

Yeah I'm very lucky and I was there. First I remeber being a littly tiny sperm launched from a scary rocket and swimming my way up my a slimy pipe or something of the sort. I really didn't know how to swim, but by some great power of our universe, I was programmed immediately to swim with a certain speed. The swim was long and I had no idea what to do, then this same universal order showed me the light. It was the most beautifull thing, an egg. I thanked that power so much, since without it's guidance I could have went to the waste disposal tube on the other side of the tunnel or even worse, I could have ended up reversing directions and being flushed down a giant toilet. Anyhow, after thanking this power that I will call god, I went straight for the egg just like I was told. I can't remember much after that except that it was pretty dark and scary. I asked that same god that have been giving me guidance to rescue me. Things were very tight and cramped. I could barely move, and everytime I tried to rest my leg on the bars of the cage above me, a woman screamed in pain and pushed my leg down. ON top of all that, I could see the stinkin scary rocket playing peeka boo with me. It taunted me, poked at me in the forehead with such force, how annoying and painful, it sprayed me with a fluid full of dead sperms that moaned and screamed at me for days as they died in the slimy tube. Then I blacked out again, until god finally heard my prayer and told me that it was time to descend. I remember some woman screaming like nuts as I descended. I felt so sorry for her that I would stop, but god didn't allow me to stop and ordered my descend. The next thing I remember was me repeatedly poking my dad in the forehead and saying....How does that feel dad to be poked in the forehead?
 
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Impressive. In fact, so impressive i'd suggest you submit it to New Scientist, or any modern day science journal. */sarcasm*

However, not understanding how you turned from a bit of willy milk into a full grown human does not give rise to believing in an invisible entity or any form of planned creation. Ok, you don't know the answers, everyone's in the same boat, (including those people who wrote books thousands of years ago that you trust with your very life).

Happily confess your ignorance to the world- it's nothing to be ashamed of. Mankind has a long way to go on the road of discovery so admitting lack of knowledge at this stage bears no problems. What is pointless and frankly rather stupid is to say "Well, sperm looks clever so there must be a god." The only other evidence you have suggesting such a thing was written by people who didn't even know what caused an earthquake, thought there was a big dome in the sky holding water, and considered the world to be flat as a pancake. They were wrong, that's a fact- what in the world makes you think they'd be right on anything- especially when concerning the existence of a completely undetectable being? Unless of course he got up and said "hi, i'm god" - in which case he IS detectable and as such there's nothing to suggest we too wouldn't have seen him sitting on the top of a mountain barking orders, telling us to kill our children if they're naughty, and to remember to cover our poo when he's in the vicinity, cause he finds it detestable.

But looking at all historical records, all texts of this nature, what is it that these people really witnessed? Ah yes, the ACTS of their supposed god --------- Earthquakes, floods, raining bloody sulphur whatever. Things that can easily be explained by science in our modern times. They didn't know why or how- we do. People in those days couldn't even figure out why the wind blew, and promptly blamed it on wind carrying angels. Everything and anything had a governing "concious" entity. (Whether the same entity governing all things, or a multitude, it all comes down the same).

Those people knew fuck all about the world and the way it works. You are following in their footsteps and buying into the greatest feat of ignorance simply because sperm confuses you.

Furthermore..... Even if you wanted to delude yourself and state there was a big invisible entity that created humans, pubic lice, and aurora borealis, what in the world would then give rise to assume this entity wants you to bown down and practically suck his dick, and if you do so he'll give you a second life after this one has finished? Of course whatever you say, this is just a test and in your next life you wont have to put up with all the horrible scary diseases and mean people like murderers, alcoholics, and faggots. Depending on whose particular version of god we're talking about, he might order you to chop a bit of your dick off, sacrifice goats, blow up america, or stone women to death if they dare show their face in public. All these orders coming from an entity people keep telling me is completely undetectable. If he is detectable, we'll find him/her/it and you'll hear about it on cnn. Of course if you had something slightly better than "look at sperm, it's so fucking amazing", as evidence to suggest plausability- you'd probably be taken slightly more serious.

The next thing I remember was me repeatedly poking my dad in the forehead and saying....How does that feel dad to be poked in the forehead?

After which your dad went to smack your ass, then realised you have a tail bone. "Why the fuck would my child, who has no tail, have a tailbone? Hmmm this god entity sure is a stupid fucker."
 
Originally posted by SnakeLord


Happily confess your ignorance to the world- it's nothing to be ashamed of. Mankind has a long way to go on the road of discovery so admitting lack of knowledge at this stage bears no problems. What is pointless and frankly rather stupid is to say "Well, sperm looks clever so there must be a god."

Your lack of knowledge and understanding of complexity have no bearing on the fact that complex design in our universe do exist. Give the designer of the universe some credit you ungratefull fool.
 
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