Water,
The essence of some good questions.
Why did you stop letting God decide how your faith in Him is to be?
It is not possible to answer the question as framed since it presumes a gods exists. What I hope you meant to ask is why did I stop trying to communicate with an alleged god that might be trying to reach and guide me? Is that OK?
The answer is based on many factors and at various levels of complexity which I will describe in a moment.
Was that way too slow, to unsatisfying for you?
An overly simplistic suggestion and does not come remotely close to my case.
I'm asking this because if a person tries to consciously believe in God, out of their own effort, he will most likely be left disappointed, or in superstition.
This is a very Christian-like statement that I would expect from someone who is pro-Christian and I think you said you weren’t a Christian. So I’m a little confused as to your motives here.
However, my belief in the Christian god was not a conscious effort. Throughout my entire school life from the age of four I was exposed to daily Christian worship ceremonies and religious education. I was fully conditioned to be a Christian and accepted the existence of a god without question, until of course I matured a little.
A person's belief (that he comes to believe) in God is God's doing, not that person's.
That is Christian doctrine and an unsupported assertion.
Therefore, if a person finds himself wanting to believe in God, the best they can do is not try to believe, and let God do the work.
Not relevant to my case.
So why did I eventually reject the Christian god concept?
1. Extensive discussions with other Christians.
2. Bible study.
3. An entire school life containing frequent religious education.
4. Private study of Christian origins.
5. Logic.
6. Credibility.
7. Einstein.
8. An understanding of cosmology.
9. An understanding of evolution.
10. An understanding of neuroscience.
11. An understanding of probabilities.
12. My genetically derived propensity to be analytical.
13. And any lingering minor doubts were finally fully dispelled by debating at sciforums.
Put that altogether and there are several major conclusions –
There is no evidence to support that gods could or might exist.
There is no evidence that a Jesus character ever existed.
There is no evidence that such things as souls could or might exist.
Hope that helps a little.
Cris