the fact is that you do not know that i didn't, you just really want that to be true because you don't believe god exists and you are convinced that you are right about that. isn't a hallucination visual? a dream is a mental vision. this was not a vision. he has used dreams and visions to communicate with me, but his presence is and was not a vision. god presented himself to me over a long period of time and by a variety of means. he showed himself to me by communicating with me and revealing things to me in a variety of ways. he has shown me his nature. the things that he has accomplished in me and in my life, and the ways in which he has accomplished this, are astounding and are absolutely indicative of what god is and should be, if he in fact is god. i've had some very intense isolated spiritual experiences, but generally, this identification was made over a long period of time, and in response to my sincere desire and request for knowledge of god. it's not like he slid down a rainbow and landed his ass in my living room for some brief show. if that had been the case, then me, being sane, would have assumed that i was hallucinating, or i would have assumed that it was in fact not god, because i would have not been able to identify him based on an experience like that. the fact is that i am a sane, functioning human being, and that is verified by the people around me, and by the life i lead every day. i have never been prone to hallucinations, and if i were, my hallucinations would not accomplish a damn thing. if i were prone to hallucinations, i would hallucinate about all kinds of things all the time. if i were a liar, i would lie about all kinds of things all the time. neither of those things are true about me. the people who know me best would say that i am almost too honest. i don't believe there is any such thing as too honest. i am completely healthy. when some of my more intense experiences were going on, the things i was testifying to worried my parents. they took me in for an mri of my head. the results were indicative of normal health and functioning. i have never been medicated on anti-anxiety or anti-psychotic meds, or depressants, or stimulants, or any other prescribed drug other than some infrequent antibiotics, as i very rarely get sick. i manage an accounting department. i have a college degree. i did very well in school. i do very well in my profession. i drive a car. i own and take care of a home and a pet. i travel. i enjoy the arts. i maintain very successful and solid relationships with all kinds of people. i am very close to my parents and my good friends. they trust me. they respect me. they admire me. and as much as they might have been concerned for me during a time of hightened spiritual experience (i found it difficult to comprehend and to reconcile; it blew my mind), every single one of them has looked me in the eye and almost reluctantly said, "i know damn well you're not crazy. you're one of the most well adjusted and stable people i know." this is fact...the only reason that you have postulated that i am either insane, a liar, or prone to hallucinations, is because you don't want to believe what i'm saying. you have your mind made up about the existence of god, and you don't want to be wrong. this in fact is why you haven't experienced him yourself. you don't want to. i mean, what would happen to your precious ego? that is so tied to your precious intellect? what if then, you had to be the one who was accused of being crazy, or a liar, or hallucinating, or on drugs, or in need of drugs? you can't handle it. well i can. i don't give a flying fuck about my ego. i care about the truth.
