What a simplicistic approach to a complex problem. You are overlooking all sorts of relevant factors, which I lack the energy to enumerate.
caning?
- Thread starter lucifers angel
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What a simplicistic approach to a complex problem. You are overlooking all sorts of relevant factors, which I lack the energy to enumerate.
I got hit alot as a child, most of it totally unnessary but anyway. To be honest I can't say that I turned out to be a bad person because of it. It didn't teach me that hitting was ok. I didn't go around hitting ppl at school or getting into fights. I have my own children now, and I don't hit them either.
My son is 11, I think I may have hit him maybe 2 times in his life.
6 yr old I think 1 time. Both times on the butt!
They really deserved it at the time! But like I said earlier my kids are pretty well behaved and know how far they can push me.
I have never had them pull a temper tantrum in a store, or have been screaming in public. I am so happy I never had to deal
with that kind of behaviour.
My son is 11, I think I may have hit him maybe 2 times in his life.
6 yr old I think 1 time. Both times on the butt!
They really deserved it at the time! But like I said earlier my kids are pretty well behaved and know how far they can push me.
I have never had them pull a temper tantrum in a store, or have been screaming in public. I am so happy I never had to deal
with that kind of behaviour.
Fraggle Rocker
Staff member
I spent most of my life working for a municipal government. My wife was a social worker. I knew people who were cops, medical professionals, probation officers and detectives. They all said the same thing: Most abusers were abused, and most people who were abused either become abusers or spend their whole lives struggling to suppress it. They studied the family histories of a statistical sample of men in prison, and something like 99% of them had been abused by their father or other guardian. The correlation is too strong to ignore.
I don't necessarily agree with your reasoning, but I do agree that it's probably not a good experience for a child to grow up without ever being hit. He learns that no matter how badly he behaves, no matter how he treats people, he can never make someone angry enough that they'll hit him. That is a dangerous lesson.
Still, I interpret that to mean if you get so angry that you hit your child two or three times during his life, I can forgive you for just being human. But if you do it deliberately as "punishment," you're setting a bad example because he learns that violence is an acceptable way to express authority. And if you do it more often than once every few years, you need to learn how to control your own anger.
Have you ever heard of the classic fallacy, post hoc ergo propter hoc? In English, "correlation implies causation?" There are so many differences between life today and life forty years ago when I was just starting my career. Everyone had a sense of hope then. (At least Americans, obviously not the Vietnamese or the Czechs.) Today kids look at the world and wonder if they'll ever have a career, if they'll have to live with their parents until they die, if their government is going to continue making one billion Muslims angry so that anti-American terrorism increases.
Kids today have lots of reasons to "act out."
With my violento-meter...
Good point.
There were no such services 40 years ago or less than now...
See, then you have it easy. On the other hand at certain ages kids (and dogs at all ages) don't understand REASONING. (like the oven is hot or the open window is dangerous,etc. So physical teaching is more practical...
Most people here see the problem balck and white, thus no hitting vs. hitting all the time. That's not what is it about. Actually hitting very few times is better, because the threat of the physical punishment works better than using it all the time. Not to mention they get used to it....
Well mine just lost his computer priveleges until Thursday. I have told him many times don't write you on you hands, or you skin. I HATE that. It looks so dirty and trashy.
You can't wash it off and it looks awful for days.
Anyway he told me "I forgot" I said great well I didn't forget that I told you more than a few times about this. Now you won't be using the computer..... His Answer Sorry Mom.
My kids never seem to hold it against me, even when I do punish them. Now when my mom used to hit me all the time, I did hold that against her!
You can't wash it off and it looks awful for days.
Anyway he told me "I forgot" I said great well I didn't forget that I told you more than a few times about this. Now you won't be using the computer..... His Answer Sorry Mom.
My kids never seem to hold it against me, even when I do punish them. Now when my mom used to hit me all the time, I did hold that against her!
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how old is he?
All kids do that
Yeah well I HATE it. Its like symbols and words all over his fingers and hands.
You can't wash it off, it looks terrible and dirty in my opinion. I don't think you should
draw all over yourself with ink.
He knows I HATE it and don't want him to do it. So I expect him not to.
I dont know, I just think kids are kids and it doesnt really hurt anybody :shrug:
True.........but this hurts me everytime I see his hands and arms lol
..ok lol
No. We are born with 2 fears. Loud noises and falling. My kids got near something they shouldn't and they got yelled at to be careful. Why would I assault them for being curious?
out of intrest have any of you seen how a mother cat or a bitch dispilins there cubs?
The do it with tone of voice or by puting there own body between the thing that is dangorus. I have never seen a cat smack her kittens (and i have seen WAY to many kittens)
I have to wonder are we alone in this?
The do it with tone of voice or by puting there own body between the thing that is dangorus. I have never seen a cat smack her kittens (and i have seen WAY to many kittens)
I have to wonder are we alone in this?
If you came near me with a cane I think I would just get hold of you with my bare hands and rip you apart with sheer convulsive force.
All it will do is put rage in them, because it's saying 'you are a second class citizen. I can hurt you if I feel it appropriate, but you can't hurt me.'
Also: the hitting out of anger thing is a two way street. If it's okay to hit your kids when they're really driving you mad, they can only reason that it's also okay for them to hit you when they're mad at you. Do you really want your kids getting older and thinking it;s okay to hit you?
I agree with you 100%.
All it will do is put rage in them, because it's saying 'you are a second class citizen. I can hurt you if I feel it appropriate, but you can't hurt me.'
Also: the hitting out of anger thing is a two way street. If it's okay to hit your kids when they're really driving you mad, they can only reason that it's also okay for them to hit you when they're mad at you. Do you really want your kids getting older and thinking it;s okay to hit you?
I agree with you 100%.
Well I have to disagree agree here. My mom used to hit me alot as a kid.
The thought NEVER crossed my mind to hit her back! I still saw her as my mother, and to respect my parents and all other ppl much older than myself.
I would never think of swearing at my parents either.
I have heard kids swearing at their parents, and I shake my head that parents take that from their children. I would have been beaten black and blue if I had ever done that. I think my own children know better then to ever think about that one either.
If my mother was the type to hit me I would hit her back for sure. She's my mother, but I'm a human being, and I have the right to hit you back if you lay hands on me.
do you swear at your kids?