caning?

Orleander said:
do you seriously think a child who is spanked should go to the police and be removed from his parent's custody? A life in foster care is better than a spanking?

I don't agree with spanking, but certainly don't share that opinion.
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it depends on what the perants calling spanking, a beating with a leg of a broken chair because your 10mins late getting home, isn't a spanking, and in that case the child would be better of in foster care.

I admit now, i have smacked my childrens bottoms, never ever accross the head, and i have even put soap in they're mouths has a warning from swearing, swear at me and you get the soap, i am not overly stict on my kids, i know where are they and who they are with, but obviously i do not know what they are doing, i have to hope they are well behaved enough not to do anything out of order, i trust my kids, and this morning a letter came from my daughters school saying how EXTREMLY pleased they were with her exams results and they have adviced me to make sure she takes A Lvls in langauges (spanish and french) so a little disicpline doesnt hurt them i guess.
 
Orleander said:
It just reminds me too much of a man saying he hit his wife because she 'pushed his buttons'. I understand children losing control, but not adults.
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I'm not arguing. I'm just opining that if a person does that once or twice or three times in his entire life and we can see why it happened and we can imagine how angry and frustrated he was, he might be entitled to our forgiveness. We all do horribly bad things in our own way. You don't have to physically hit people (children or adults) to do them serious harm!

I know it's possible to have your "buttons" pushed and still not respond with physical violence because as I said I've never hit anybody. And I've sure known some button pushers. In college one of my roommates killed my cat. People were really surprised that he SURVIVED the incident, much less not even showing up with a black eye. And that's not the worst thing that anyone's ever done to me!

I tell ya, it's not too difficult to decide that you'll never kill anyone. Killing someone does not punish them, it punishes everyone who loves them. Their children, their spouse, their siblings, their parents, their priest, their coworkers, their psychiatrist, their scout leader and football coach from when they were kids. Those people don't deserve to be punished.

It takes more will power to decide that you'll never hit anyone. So I can understand when people lose it. That doesn't make it right, but it makes it possible to forgive.
 
My husband and I never spank our children -- for several reasons, not least of which is that we both are into S&M. For me, spanking a child would be uncomfortably close to pedophilia.

However, I do not necessarily consider myself morally superior to people who do spank their children. Sometimes it seems to work. Often, it does not.
 
lucifers angel said:
a beating with a leg of a broken chair because your 10mins late getting home, isn't a spanking, and in that case the child would be better of in foster care.

i have even put soap in they're mouths has a warning from swearing, swear at me and you get the soap
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Yeah I would consider that WAYYYYYYY over the top. That is no longer classified as a spanking. I got the soap in my mouth once for swearing at my brother....It sure is a taste you won't soon forget. I haven't had to come up with any punishment for swearing, since I haven't heard any from my kids
YET.
 
shorty_37 said:
lol did you actually get the soap too? It seems so old school doesn't it.
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I did indeed, but punishment in that form rarley curbs a behavior, it just makes children more afraid and avoident of percieved authoritarian figures, hence they become sneaky ;)
 
shichimenshyo said:
I did indeed, but punishment in that form rarley curbs a behavior, it just makes children more afraid and avoident of percieved authoritarian figures, hence they become sneaky ;)
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This is true. Who knows what my 11 yr old is saying at school when I am not around :shrug:
 
Re telling kids to hit back: sometimes you don't have a choice but to hit back. If someone's hitting you, you either fight back or get your head kicked in. That's self defence, not revenge.
 
If its self defense, yes you need to defend yourself. If its siblings picking on each other, I really doubt they are fighting for their life. I know us kids weren't.

And as far as having to eat soap, the worst was either that Lava pumice soap (you crunched all day) or liquid dish soap.
 
this is funny, i keep finding current news articals that show the other sides of these threads:p (like bells thread)

Here is another one:

Adeilade Now said:
Child carer guilty of assaulting four-year-old

A CHILDCARE worker who repeatedly picked up and dropped a girl who refused to have afternoon tea has been convicted and will never work in the industry again.

Alison Louise Lumb was today convicted of assaulting a four-year-old girl at St Peters Childcare centre, Stepney, in 2005.

Prosecutors had claimed the 51-year-old had "lost her cool" when the girl - with whom she had "previous friction" - refused to come inside and have afternoon tea with the rest of the children.

Today, Magistrate Cathy Deland found Lumb had acted inappropriately and unlawfully in her handling of the child.

She said the girl was twice picked up and dropped from a height of 50cm while she cried.

"I do not believe corporal punishment by childcarers could be considered appropriate or lawful," she said.

"Lumb's actions were not necessary ... it was her intention to seclude the girl as a punishment for her attitude."

She recorded a conviction against Lumb, despite her lawyer's claims it would end her career in the childcare industry.

She further ordered Lumb serve a two-year, $500 good behaviour bond and pay $750 in court costs.

Viewed 27/02/08 at 16:50
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I think that says it all from a legal stand point that corporal punishment by child care workers (and by exstention police and teachers) is criminal

As to it going for parents if a child care worker with 30 or so kids isnt alowed to "lose there cool" and use corporal punishment then parents who only have to deal with say 1-4 kids in most cases dont have any excuse either.

The law states that if you use anything other than your hand and if you leave any damage even a red mark its criminal but that law may eventually go further
 
James R said:
Caning children teaches them that violence or the threat of violence is an acceptable and good way to go about solving problems. Increasing caning probably increases violence when the kids grow up. If you teach people how to be violent, you can hardly complain when they grow up to be violent.
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BS. People are naturally violent. Corporal punishment simply teaches them that bad behavior will not be tolerated.
 
madanthonywayne said:
BS. People are naturally violent. Corporal punishment simply teaches them that bad behavior will not be tolerated.
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Would you have allowed someone else to smack or spank your children? Teacher? Emergency teacher? Stranger on the street if they see your child misbehaving because bad behaviour will not be tolerated?

Don't get me wrong, I think in some instances a light little smack on the bottom might work. Never in anger and never when the child has been violent towards another. After all, spanking a child for having hit someone else kind of defeats the purpose of any lesson you are trying to teach.
 
visceral_instinct said:
Re telling kids to hit back: sometimes you don't have a choice but to hit back. If someone's hitting you, you either fight back or get your head kicked in. That's self defence, not revenge.
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lol, (i am not laughing at your statement i am laughing at my sons school)

yesterday i was called in to my sons school, before the half term holidays, my son was getting hit by a certain child, and on the friday they broke for holidays he punched him in the face, he just had enough, he gave the boy a black eye, (which is somthing that i have told him to do, the teachers didnt do anything so i took it onto myself to tell my son to hit back, has hard as he can) but yesterday he was suspended from school for 2 weeks, the other child, well he just got a school detention, they are treating my 8yr old like a hardened criminal, but i will always tell my child to hit back and i am in the middle of appealing against the school, and the way its run!

But at least my son stood up for himself, and hopefully the other child won't come back for more!

---------------
 
you made a mestake LA, what did you tell him to hit him in the face for. He should have kicked the kid in the nuts or punched him in the throat

when your safty is at stake you dont fight "fair"
 
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