why do women do this?

[chris4355]

This thread is hard for me to understand as the OP is further along than I ever will be =P

You can find the right girl tomorrow, be happy for the rest of of your life and call it a day in the dating department.

While I look around trying a relationship after the other only to always realize I can't ever stick to one girl.

In the end, who's ahead?

I have seen completely unattractive retards who are nothing but pests to their girlfriends who treat them like complete shit and somehow get laid 5 times a week.

Anyone can do it, if you just get the confidence to talk to them, girls will like you for reasons that you won't even notice.

 

[chris4355]

I'm saying maybe she wanted to see what you would do and how you'd react to her wishes.

I'll be more careful next time, SAM. Promise.

 

[lucifers angel]

Men have no idea how to romance women anymore, do they?

some men do, but i think they are a dying breed

 

[phlogistician]

So just based off my age you judge my entire judgement of women and relationships in general. How very wise of you, care to elaborate?

Not at all. Your OP shows how naive and inexperienced you are. At 22, you should know better; you are naive for a 22 year old. That contradicts 'having been around'.

 

[Blue_UK]

Could she have just not wanted sex?

In my experience, girls don't care about sex on the first date - it just depends on the mood (in the UK, at least - where, ironically, we have an outwardly prudish culture but are actually the most promiscuous people on the planet!)

 

[I Push Wood]

some men do, but i think they are a dying breed

Yeah, tis a shame, but I'm pretty sure you've got the right idea. Genuine gentleman are on a sharp decline, and pickings be slim for the ladies...

 

[chris4355]

You are 22 and you think you have 'been around'. PRICELESS!

So one day you say all 22 year old's are naive.

Not at all. Your OP shows how naive and inexperienced you are. At 22, you should know better; you are naive for a 22 year old. That contradicts 'having been around'.

Then you say I am naive for a 22 year old.

Hey, at least I'm not going senile.

After she offers me drinks at her place at midnight, and she leads me to her bed, and just before were about to get it on she says "I'm not ready".

I am supposed to automatically comprehend why she would do that?

Either way, what is it to "be around"?

Getting married for 10 years? Going through a bunch of relationships? Being over 22?

Instead of sounding like a know it all who's sole argument in every post is "you are 22", how about you give me a logical argument.

 

[chris4355]

Could she have just not wanted sex?

In my experience, girls don't care about sex on the first date - it just depends on the mood (in the UK, at least - where, ironically, we have an outwardly prudish culture but are actually the most promiscuous people on the planet!)

lol, I didn't people in the UK had an outwardly prudish culture. I always thought most of Europe was actually pretty open about sex in general.

 

[phlogistician]

So one day you say all 22 year old's are naive.

No, I'll leave the blanket statements to you.

Then you say I am naive for a 22 year old.

Your OP spelled that out quite plainly. You expect sex on the first date. Real life doesn't play out like a porno, people don't just meet and fuck.

After she offers me drinks at her place at midnight,

Why is the fact it's midnight mentioned? Do you turn into a pumpkin, or is it just past your bedtime?

and she leads me to her bed, and just before were about to get it on she says "I'm not ready".

I don't know, I wasn't there. Does she have a roomie, and not want to be making out when said roomie arrives home? How 'just before' were you, undressed? Pants around your ankles? See, it's your assumption you were going to 'get it on', but you clearly read the situation wrong! Maybe you lunged for her knickers and revulsed her, maybe she was just kissing you for a 'date a dork' competition?

Instead of sounding like a know it all who's sole argument in every post is "you are 22", how about you give me a logical argument.

Not very bright are you? You stated your age as 22, and then made a statement about a previous relationship seven years previously, putting you at 15 at the time. Now, if you don't recognise the difference between yourself at 15, and at 22, why should anyone? Seems you haven't learned anything or grown up in those intervening years, doesn't it?

 

[codanblad]

Your OP spelled that out quite plainly. You expect sex on the first date. Real life doesn't play out like a porno, people don't just meet and fuck.

I don't know, I wasn't there. Does she have a roomie, and not want to be making out when said roomie arrives home? How 'just before' were you, undressed? Pants around your ankles? See, it's your assumption you were going to 'get it on', but you clearly read the situation wrong! Maybe you lunged for her knickers and revulsed her, maybe she was just kissing you for a 'date a dork' competition?

Why is the fact it's midnight mentioned? Do you turn into a pumpkin, or is it just past your bedtime?

french dude invited into an apartment (and then bedroom) for late night drinks? drop some strange funky beat and it sounds like a porno to me. albeit a kinda boring one. i'll stick with #person/s#object/s.

and its not possible she's a bit weird? maybe she was seeing whether he was frigid and/or interested, but wasn't giving it away on the first night.

i think inviting a person to your room late at night has certain connotations.

 

[joepistole]

That's part of the problem! We should have kept it like it was in the days of the cave man ....knock her in the head with club, drag her into the cave, fuck her brains out, then kick her ass out of the cave! The natural way of things ....and stupid fuckin' liberals fucked it all up for the rest of us!

Baron Max

Real Christian too!

 

[phlogistician]

i think inviting a person to your room late at night has certain connotations.

I've no idea, being a gentleman I'd often offer to walk girls home, in fact, I once turned down a girl who propositioned me in a nightclub, because I'd already promised to walk a female friend home.

But I guess there's the difference between Chris and I; I am a gentleman.

 

[mikenostic]

Women get more actual practice (necessarily) than guys at brushing off.
In general.

True, but it doesn't make it anymore acceptable/mature IMHO.
I've given very few women the flaky brush off in my life, and that's only because they did something to royally piss me off or otherwise deserve it.
Most of the time I'm pretty straightforward in why I am discontinuing communication.
I remember when I had a Match.com profile. I had couple of women email me. The trouble is, the were both obese and both had children. Even though I hinted in my profile that I was not ready to have children yet and that I prefer athletic body types, I politely responded with something like, "I'm sorry. I'm not looking to date a single mother, or a fuller figured woman. I do wish you the best in your search."
One responded with, "Thank you. I appreciate your honesty and getting back with me." The other, "Thank you for letting me know. I wish there were more of you like that out there."

I truly believe that the flakiness and overwillingness to brush guys off is one of the reasons women don't get as much respect as they want. Think about it Oli. You even mention that women have more practice at it. You know they do it. I know they do it. And I'm pretty sure we agree that there aren't many (if any) guys out there who enjoy being around a woman that is flaky like that, or enjoy being stood up/brushed off. Not saying all women do it, but enough women do do it to make the rest of you good ladies (i.e. Bells, Shorty, Lieb, VI, etc.) look bad. Kinda like how all the womanizing jackasses make guys like me look bad.

 

[takandjive]

Realistic guess: She did not want to have sex yet. She doesn't owe you a reason why, and it doesn't say she's more or less respectable. However, if you just respect her more for not having sex with you on the first date, I have a lot less respect for you.

When I don't have sex on the first date and I say, "Call me," I generally just need time to feel the person out. I don't have sex on the first date because I don't know the person well enough to feel comfortable.

 

[mikenostic]

Realistic guess: She did not want to have sex yet. She doesn't owe you a reason why, and it doesn't say she's more or less respectable. However, if you just respect her more for not having sex with you on the first date, I have a lot less respect for you.

When I don't have sex on the first date and I say, "Call me," I generally just need time to feel the person out. I don't have sex on the first date because I don't know the person well enough to feel comfortable.

Do you also make it a habit of inviting guys over to your place at the end of a first date for drinks, then fairly heavily make out with him; most all guys do not anticipate her out of the blue saying 'I'm not ready yet.' Sorry tak, but when a woman leads the guy on like that, and yes it is leading him on (especailly on a first date), then just says, I'm not ready, that leads me to believe she's either playing mind games with him or is one of those wishy-washy, can't make up her mind, overly analytical (to the point it is self-destructing) women. And if she is, she really isn't worth any guy's time.
But alas, there will always be a guy out there who is just as horny as she is mind-game playing, moody, self-centered, crazy, ugly, etc.

 

[takandjive]

Do you also make it a habit of inviting guys over to your place at the end of a first date for drinks, then fairly heavily make out with him; most all guys do not anticipate her out of the blue saying 'I'm not ready yet.' Sorry tak, but when a woman leads the guy on like that, and yes it is leading him on (especailly on a first date), then just says, I'm not ready, that leads me to believe she's either playing mind games with him or is one of those wishy-washy, can't make up her mind, overly analytical (to the point it is self-destructing) women. And if she is, she really isn't worth any guy's time.
But alas, there will always be a guy out there who is just as horny as she is mind-game playing, moody, self-centered, crazy, ugly, etc.

I don't date. I'm down to asking health care assistants if they'll weigh me in the nude.

It sounds like she panicked. Maybe she was raped three weeks ago and she's an all right chick otherwise. Maybe she just broke up and had a last minute pang of guilt.

In college I had a guy HAND ME A CONDOM and then last second go, "You know, I just broke up, and I can't." And I was pissed at the time, but you know what, sometimes people go through things. And frankly, if I saw the guy today, I'd still want him because he was cute and funny and sexy. Just because people have cracks doesn't mean they're broken.

 

[Thinka]

I think that she was playing mind games. I wouldn't call her; make her call you and show disinterest for a while.

 

[mikenostic]

I don't date. I'm down to asking health care assistants if they'll weigh me in the nude.

Hopefully you're not fat, because you'd probably traumatize those assistants if you were.

It sounds like she panicked. Maybe she was raped three weeks ago and she's an all right chick otherwise. Maybe she just broke up and had a last minute pang of guilt.

Ahhh...the wishy washy, can't make up her mind syndrome. Another beautiful woman quality that guys just love.

In college I had a guy HAND ME A CONDOM and then last second go, "You know, I just broke up, and I can't." And I was pissed at the time, but you know what, sometimes people go through things. And frankly, if I saw the guy today, I'd still want him because he was cute and funny and sexy. Just because people have cracks doesn't mean they're broken.

And just because they might not be broken doesn't mean they are completely well.
You can still drive a car with several mechanical issues/'cracks', but unless it gets tended to, it will get worse.
And sorry, if you were in a state like that, you should have never let it get to that point. Why do you women not understand that?
Don't fuckin rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

 

[S.A.M.]

you don't want a woman, mike, you want a television set

 

[mikenostic]

you don't want a woman, mike, you want a television set

Uh, given the way that I feel women act when it comes to dating, I thought I've made that abundantly obvious? :shrug:

Plus I have a TV already, and my three dogs(all of whom are more loyal than any woman ever could be).