I suppose it's a matter of what church did you go to, and what message did you receive? Who taught you how to pray, and what to pray for? My Baptist church is roughly 20-30% "recovering Catholics". My life only gets better each day the more I apply what I learn and pray for. I surround myself with Christian friends who lift me up, and not atheists who drag me down. I have had enough miracles for 2010 that I'm almost done asking for anymore. I'm almost tempted to ask for a new boat next.
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M*W: Well, lawdy mercy, do I have a story for you!
As I told you, I was born in Southern WV, coal country, and spen my early years there. My daddy didn't want me growing up there like he did. (That's my lifelong regret). So I went to grade school in SC. My parents never went to any church, although my mother tried to send me along with other (Baptist) kids when they went. Consequently, my Baptist indoctrination began. It was Easter Sunday 1957, and I was in the Sunday School class that I attended with my little friends. The teacher asked each of us to say anything we wanted to sat to Jesus to thank him for what he did for us, suffering and dyring on the cross, etc.. I was an abnormally shy child (no comments from peanut gallery, thanks). In fact, I could have been the poster child for social anxiety disorder, but that wasn't a diagnosis then. Sorry, I digress...
Anyway, when it was my turn to answer (I was shaking, sweating, and fearfully dreading to speak up). So, with much hesitation, I meekly said, "Jesus, I'm sorry you had to die." I really meant it in my heart. I remembered my great grandmother dying, and I was really sorry that she had died, because she loved me!
Just as I was coming down off the horrid emotional anxiety I had just experienced when I spoke in front of the class, I thought to myself, "I said it..! I really, really said it!"
Apparently disapproving of my comment, which I had made with all respect and sincerity, the teacher came to the back of the room, where I was sitting to hide my fear of being called on in class, when she took her long arm, rared back, and proceeded to slap me across my little face as hard as she could! I could have died in Jesus's place right then. I was dazed and stunned. I didn't know what had just happened to me! My soul was slaughtered in that one blow. The teacher screamed, "Say you're sorry to Jesus! Say you're sorry to Jesus. Say it right now!"
All the kids in the class were laughing at me. I guess they thought it was a funny site to see another kid lose their soul that day.
I never put my soles back in that church, and my mother never went to church again the rest of her life. After what that Baptist Sunday School teacher did to me, my mother despised religion. The name of God was never mentioned in my home after that.
Then I enrolled in a Baptist university, not because of any faith I might of had growing up in the '60s. The university was close to my very agnostic home.
It wasn't until I married and had children that I wanted a reconciliation with christianity. Since I had studied Baptist christianity in college, I began researching the other religions, their various denominations, the doctrines and the dogmas. I took a year of intense Roman Catholic catechism and decided to covert to the church that assured me they would not only save my soul, but they would help me heal from the pain the Baptist church caused me.
I ate, lived, and breathed everything christian. I scorched the earth, as I knew it, with my rabid christianity. I taught catechism for years as I prayed and prayed but never got any answers. I also never forgot what that Baptist teacher did to me. I became so lost and disillusioned as an apostle for Christ, praying to him, teaching his gospel, helping others find the truth. Even when I was emotionally leaving christianity, god didn't save me or me or either of my
soles. I didn't let go of god, god let go of me.
I am happy for you that you have found what you believe to be the truth. I hope you believe your prayers are answered, even if the answer is not what you wanted to hear. I hope you find joy, pleasure and peace, in your faith, and I sincerely hope it will always be with you
if you believe.
You may find this a strange thing to hear from an atheist. I can't speak for all atheists, but as an atheist I believe even atheists pray. We just don't pray to a god. We search from within. That is the
only place you or anyone else, is going to find the power and the glory.