The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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Chinaman walks into a bar and says "hey nigger give us a jigger" and the nigger says "thats a bit out of order and rude, happen if i said somthing simaller to u, hang on a matter of fact lets swap places you be the barman and i will be the customer".
So anyway the nigger walks into the bar and the chinaman says "hold on mate no niggers allowed"
 
A man goes to a whorehouse that boasts of a prostitute that can sing and give blow jobs at the same time. So he says to the Madam, "Madam, I'd like a blowjob from your singing whore."

The Madam takes him to a room and leaves. Shortly afterwards, a young, plain girl enters, and tells him, "if you want a singing blowjob, it has to be in the dark." The man agrees, so she turns out the light and unzips his fly.

She begins, and this is the best blowjob he's ever had. AND she's singing the Star-Spangled Banner at the same time. The man is incredulous and amazed, then blows his load. By the time he turns the light on, the prostitute has already left.

He pays the madam and leaves, wondering how the hell she could give such an amazing blowjob and sing at the same time. He decides to find out.

The man goes back to the whorehouse, and requests the singing whore again. The same routine occurs. But before she's finished, the man whips out a flashlight and turns it on. Again, the girl is too quick for him, and flees the room. Still in the dark, he turns the light on, only to find a glass eye on the floor.
 
Dead Baby Jokes!

Q)Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline?



A)You cant jump on a trampoline with spirs on.




Q)Whats the difference between pile of dead babies and a lamborghini?



A)I dont have a lamborghini in my gradge.




Q) Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of rocks?




A) I cant move a pile of rock with a pitch fork.


gerr my o2 cents hehe
 
What's the difference between a golden delicious apple, and a dead baby?

















You don't cum all over a golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it.
 
What's the best thing about being a speed addict?
Only 2 sleeps 'til christmas
 
Little Johny goes over to little Billy's house and rings the bell. His mother answers and Johny asks if Billy can come and play war in the street with his friends. Billy's mother says to Johny "you know Billy doesn't have any arms or legs". Johny replies "I know, but we want to use him as a sandbag".
 
Guess it's time for some Ipswich prostitute jokes.

Ipswich Town are not playing football this weekend. Apparantly a dyslexic serial killer murdered all the substitutes.

A dyslexic wannabe Santa in Ipswich has been leaving prossies under the trees.
 
Job Vacancy; Prostitute in Ipswich area
The hours are good but the shifts are murder!!!
 
The Return Of The Most Offensive Jokes In The World...ever!

Why'd this get shut down?

Anyway, here's a couple:

- Just bought one of those Saddam Hussein t-shirts. A bit tight round the neck but hangs kinda well.

- I called Saddam up on New Years Eve but he hung up on me!

Etc.
 
The International Congress for Human Decency has proclaimed John Bryant to be the world's most evil person. The World Christianity Association officially claimed that "John Bryant is currently the closest thing we have to the Anti-Christ."

Here are some offensive jokes by John Bryant, from http://www.thebirdman.org/

Affirmative action: Legalized racial discrimination against whites.

Africa: The proof that, by being enslaved by whites, blacks never had it so good.

African-Americans: (1) A people who were once enslaved, but who now enjoy special privileges as a result of constantly whining that they are oppressed; (2) A people who keep changing their name -- niggers, darkies, colored people, negroes, blacks, Afro-Americans, African-Americans -- because they keep trying to run away from all the unpleasant associations which their behavior keeps attaching to them.

Antisemite: (1) Originally, one who did not like Jews; now, one whom the Jews do not like (Lou Rollins); (2) Someone who dares to break the most rigid taboo of Western civilization, namely, the dictum that the Jews and Israel must not be criticized; (3) Someone who recognizes that the most destructive social movements of recent times -- communism, liberalism, feminism, labor unionism, racial integration, multiculturalism, anti- racism, zionism, the 'civil rights movement', deconstructionism, gun control, and the like -- have all been funded, led and driven by Jews.

Bias: The inclinations generated by the sum total of life experience, especially including the advice from family, friends and other trusted sources.

Bigot: One who disagrees with a liberal.

Black caucus: A bunch of Crows who Caw and Cuss in a place called Incongruous.

Civil rights: Uncivil wrongs for whites.

Compassion: The taking of other people's money in order to pay off the various minority constituencies -- Jews, blacks, homosexuals, hispanics, feminists, immigrants, welfarites, gun controllers, etc -- for the purpose of acquiring and maintaining political power.

Discrimination: (1) Preferring the desirable to the undesirable; (2) A policy insufficient to prevent the success of immigrants such as Jews, Asians and Irish, just as affirmative action is a policy insufficient to prevent the failure of blacks.

Equality: The theory that black equals white, dumb equals smart, incompetence equals competence, lies equal truth, and bad equals good.

Feminist: A man-eating tigress; a female with all the vices of women and none of the virtues; a woman who couldn't find a man and couldn't even get work as a whore.

Hate: The love a white man has for his own people, his own nation and his own culture.

Hate crime law: (1) A law which says that a man who murders out of hate is a worse criminal than one who murders out of greed; (2) A law which provides a greater penalty for an emotion (hate) over which a person has no control than an act (eg, of greed or lust) over which he does.

Hitler: A man who is hated so much by Jews that they are constantly building memorials to his work.

Holocaust: A story that is going up in flames, fed by the fuel of non- existent gas chambers.

Homosexuals: Men who have confused boys with girls, toilet stalls with bedrooms, and lovemaking with frolicking in a sewer.

Jews: A race who created gas chambers out of hot air.

Liberal: Someone who believes it is his moral duty to let minorities take their pleasure in everybody else's backside besides his own.

Mexico: A toilet on which America sits, and which is beginning to back up.

NAACP: The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Who Would Be Offended If You Called Them That.

Nigger: A term of denigration used in referring to negroes, and frequently used by negroes to refer to one another, thereby showing that negroes know what they are talking about.

Prejudiced: Less willing to believe what the government tells you about minorities than what you are told by family, friends, or your own eyes.

Racial profiling: The use by police of the well-documented fact that blacks commit crimes at nine times the rate of whites.

Racial slur: An unpleasant truth.

Racism: The desire to live, work, marry and mingle with one's own kind: A nearly-universal desire and virtual law of nature, often expressed as 'Birds of a feather flock together', and denied only by liberals who live and work in areas much too expensive to have any more than a token number of minorities. Racism is so ingrained and universal that it is reflected not once but twice in our language: The word kind (type) and kind (nice) have the same origin, as does the word like (similar) and like (appreciate), from which we infer that we like those whom we are like, and we are kind to those of our own kind.

Social justice: Discrimination against white males in affirmative action, set-asides, and a host of other programs.

Third World: A place that has a great love for whites, provided only they are baked, boiled or roasted.
Click to expand...
 
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