Why was ten nervous?
Because 7 8 9.
End of thread.
*kills self*
Because 7 8 9.
End of thread.
*kills self*
The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!
- Thread starter The Flemster
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smlcar
Guest
Why do gay guys wear ribbed condoms?
For traction in the mud.
What's the difference between a fridge and a gay guy?
A fridge doesn't fart when you pull out the meat.
Two gay guys are going hard at it when a fire breaks out in their apartment. Which one gets out safely, the one giving it or the one getting it?
The one getting it. He already has his shit packed.
For traction in the mud.
What's the difference between a fridge and a gay guy?
A fridge doesn't fart when you pull out the meat.
Two gay guys are going hard at it when a fire breaks out in their apartment. Which one gets out safely, the one giving it or the one getting it?
The one getting it. He already has his shit packed.
Shame though.
I feel guilty when I'm telling Mexican/black Jokes.
Not that I feel like a racist it's just that there are not really any good white jokes they can get back at us with.
If you have any please share them.
I feel guilty when I'm telling Mexican/black Jokes.
Not that I feel like a racist it's just that there are not really any good white jokes they can get back at us with.
If you have any please share them.
In all seriousness.
We sterotype all blacks as poor because a high percentage of poor people are black.
So using said logic, we should sterotype white people as rich because a high percentage of wealthy people are white.
That makes for some shitty jokes.
"What do you call a poor white person?"
"Middle Class. BAHAHAHAHAHA"
Doesn't quite work.
We sterotype all blacks as poor because a high percentage of poor people are black.
So using said logic, we should sterotype white people as rich because a high percentage of wealthy people are white.
That makes for some shitty jokes.
"What do you call a poor white person?"
"Middle Class. BAHAHAHAHAHA"
Doesn't quite work.
Welcome to the National institute of Racial outsiders. We are pleased to meet you. Here we analyze the issues of race and genda studiously, mostly race, we were estrablished as a NGO in 2001. Our progress has been astonishing and we have some scientific footnotes for those of you who believe you fell from mars. Yes, we are talking about those of you fair skin love nuts that think race is a thing to play around with. Here are some ways to know what the fuck you are, between you and me though, I think you all suck.
First check with your daddy, if your daddy is black, you ought to be black. Think about all the poor daddys, think about what fathers have to go through, and what mummies put them through from time to time. Yes, I know fathers are stupid fucks, but here at the institute they are not our specimen, so they are not our problem
Second, Check your wiener if you are a male. All males do it. If you are longer, you ought to be black, be greatful to be longer.
Third, fly to Africa and put on a traditional garment. If you look good in it, you probably are black.Oh, and don't forget to expolit the natives on your way back, your level of exploitation will also determine what we already know in our records. Try a Western suit, if you look good in it, then buy the fucking thing and apply for a credit card later; congratulations, you are white.
Lastly,
Move around a high profile neighborhood at night...Chances are if you don't get apprehended by the proper authorities in less than 3 minutes...you already know the rest. Again, thats okay. We love you all.
So this are the four factors to help you in your "GREAT BIG" problems, It took years of study and research. We know how bad you guys have it and we have special psychologists ready and waiting at our hotline, consultations are free. We are in support of all outsiders and lunatics. We are NIRO, share love and happiness.
First check with your daddy, if your daddy is black, you ought to be black. Think about all the poor daddys, think about what fathers have to go through, and what mummies put them through from time to time. Yes, I know fathers are stupid fucks, but here at the institute they are not our specimen, so they are not our problem
Second, Check your wiener if you are a male. All males do it. If you are longer, you ought to be black, be greatful to be longer.
Third, fly to Africa and put on a traditional garment. If you look good in it, you probably are black.Oh, and don't forget to expolit the natives on your way back, your level of exploitation will also determine what we already know in our records. Try a Western suit, if you look good in it, then buy the fucking thing and apply for a credit card later; congratulations, you are white.
Lastly,
Move around a high profile neighborhood at night...Chances are if you don't get apprehended by the proper authorities in less than 3 minutes...you already know the rest. Again, thats okay. We love you all.
So this are the four factors to help you in your "GREAT BIG" problems, It took years of study and research. We know how bad you guys have it and we have special psychologists ready and waiting at our hotline, consultations are free. We are in support of all outsiders and lunatics. We are NIRO, share love and happiness.
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rabbi walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender goes:
"where'd you get that?"
parrot says:
"Brooklyn. there's 1000s of 'em there"
"where'd you get that?"
parrot says:
"Brooklyn. there's 1000s of 'em there"
guy goes to the doc.
"doc you gotta help me, my anus is killing me"
"ok, pull yer pants down and bend over, lets have a look"
guy pulls his pants down, and bends over. Doc has a good look up the guy's old dirt highway.
"hmm, oh yes I know what the problem is, I'll give you this ointment, and I want you to apply it up your ass twice a day. to make it easier, get your wife to do it for you, all she has to do is apply some on her finger then stick it up there, I'll do the first application for you now"
so the guy's bent over and the doc applies a good dollop of ointment up the guys ass and sends him on his merry way.
later that night, guy and his wife are getting ready for bed.
"honey could you put some of this ointment up my ass please? it's real easy, all you gotta do is put some on your finger and stick it up there, doc did the first application for me this morning"
so the guy bends over, so his misses can lube his ass up.
as she's greasing her hubby's bumhole, she asks:
"honey, just out of curiosity, which finger did the doc use?"
at this point, the guy's face goes white as a sheet...
"what's the matter hun?"
enquires the wife worringly,
"I...I just remembered, the doc had both hands on my shoulders"
"doc you gotta help me, my anus is killing me"
"ok, pull yer pants down and bend over, lets have a look"
guy pulls his pants down, and bends over. Doc has a good look up the guy's old dirt highway.
"hmm, oh yes I know what the problem is, I'll give you this ointment, and I want you to apply it up your ass twice a day. to make it easier, get your wife to do it for you, all she has to do is apply some on her finger then stick it up there, I'll do the first application for you now"
so the guy's bent over and the doc applies a good dollop of ointment up the guys ass and sends him on his merry way.
later that night, guy and his wife are getting ready for bed.
"honey could you put some of this ointment up my ass please? it's real easy, all you gotta do is put some on your finger and stick it up there, doc did the first application for me this morning"
so the guy bends over, so his misses can lube his ass up.
as she's greasing her hubby's bumhole, she asks:
"honey, just out of curiosity, which finger did the doc use?"
at this point, the guy's face goes white as a sheet...
"what's the matter hun?"
enquires the wife worringly,
"I...I just remembered, the doc had both hands on my shoulders"
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could
buy him a drink. "Why, of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland,"
replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too ! Let's
have another round to Ireland." "Of course," says the second.
Curious, the first asks: "Where in Ireland?" "Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it; Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to
Dublin" "Of course" is the reply.
The second man can't help himself, so he asks, "What school did you
attend? " "Saint Mary's", replies the first man. "I graduated in '62."
"Me, as well! This is unbelievable !!! " says the second man.
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's up?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again!"
buy him a drink. "Why, of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland,"
replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too ! Let's
have another round to Ireland." "Of course," says the second.
Curious, the first asks: "Where in Ireland?" "Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it; Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to
Dublin" "Of course" is the reply.
The second man can't help himself, so he asks, "What school did you
attend? " "Saint Mary's", replies the first man. "I graduated in '62."
"Me, as well! This is unbelievable !!! " says the second man.
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's up?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again!"
it's kicking out time at the local boozer, and a drunk stumbles out of the doors onto the cold hard pavement outside. face down in the gutter, he tries to raise to his feet, but is too paraletic so somehow manages to drag his drunken carkass along the road, all the way home. He gets to his front door and again tries to get up on his feet, but he's totaly ratarsed. Anyway he somehow manages to pull himself up against his front door, find his key and fall into his hallway. The guy wants to maintain some pride, so resisting the temptation to knock out there and then in the hallway, he manges to drag himself to his couch where he proceeds to lose conciousness.
Next morning the guy is awoken by an angry slap accross his face by the misses:
"you were down the pub getting pissed again lastnight weren't you?"
she shouts,
"err...no....why?"
the man mumbles trying to maintain his innocence,
"coz you forgot your wheelchair at home again you bastard"
Next morning the guy is awoken by an angry slap accross his face by the misses:
"you were down the pub getting pissed again lastnight weren't you?"
she shouts,
"err...no....why?"
the man mumbles trying to maintain his innocence,
"coz you forgot your wheelchair at home again you bastard"
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smlcar
Guest
What's a cocoon?
A N-Nigger with a S-Stutter
What's a Specimen?
An Italian Astronaut
A N-Nigger with a S-Stutter
What's a Specimen?
An Italian Astronaut
happypervert
Registered Member
Lol
If you are truly into offensive Jokes why not buy all of Blanche Knott Truly Tasteless Joke collection. This is for private fun as its higly offensive to most politically soft ego centred People- Link below:
http://amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/10...alias=stripbooks&field-keywords=Blanche+Knott
If you are truly into offensive Jokes why not buy all of Blanche Knott Truly Tasteless Joke collection. This is for private fun as its higly offensive to most politically soft ego centred People- Link below:
http://amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/10...alias=stripbooks&field-keywords=Blanche+Knott
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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smlcar
Guest
An elderly couple showed up at the doctor's office together one day. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "We'd like you to watch us have sex, and make sure everything's all right."
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex, everything's fine." He charged them $50 and they went on their way.
The next week, they showed up again, with the same request, and the next week, and several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, and leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $109. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare!!!"
The man said, "We'd like you to watch us have sex, and make sure everything's all right."
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex, everything's fine." He charged them $50 and they went on their way.
The next week, they showed up again, with the same request, and the next week, and several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, and leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $109. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare!!!"
And to end this thread:
THE ARISTOCRATS!
THE ARISTOCRATS!
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