if you saw steve irwin in a pub, what would he being doing?
decomposing.
decomposing.
The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!
- Thread starter The Flemster
- Start date
- Status
Steve Irwin was being interviewed as he lay dying.
He was asked what his favourite kids tv show was.
"Thunderbirds," he gasped, "but I'll always have a place in my heart for Stingray..."
He was asked what his favourite kids tv show was.
"Thunderbirds," he gasped, "but I'll always have a place in my heart for Stingray..."
C
Craig70
Guest
Steve Irwin should've known better than to go swimming without sunscreen on. It would have protected him from harmful rays.
F
fetus_fajitas
Guest
In a recent interview Steve Irwin was asked what his favourite kids TV show was.
He said "Thunderbirds, but Stingray will always have a special place in my heart"
And
There's been a Product Recall on all Steve Irwin suncream
The claim that it protects from Harmful Rays turns out to be false
I never normally feel guilty for telling these jokes. I'm a cold hearted bastard. But Steve Irwin was a legend....
He said "Thunderbirds, but Stingray will always have a special place in my heart"
And
There's been a Product Recall on all Steve Irwin suncream
The claim that it protects from Harmful Rays turns out to be false
I never normally feel guilty for telling these jokes. I'm a cold hearted bastard. But Steve Irwin was a legend....
P
PublicFarter
Guest
An elderly man was taking a relaxing nude sunbath when a small girl approached and started babbling, "Uncle, Uncle, what's that?"
"That's a bird" answered the man.
"Can I play with it?"
"No!"
"What's the birdy doing?"
"It's sleeping."
The girl went away as the man relaxed more and eventually fell asleep. The next time he woke up, he found himself in a hospital intensive care unit. "How the hell did you get such a nasty injury?" asked the doctor?
"I...don't know! I fell asleep and when I woke up I found myself here" replied the confused man.
"Who was the last person you saw while awake?"
"A small girl on the beach."
"We found this girl at the scene and thought she'd be a valuable witness in this case" said a police inspector standing nearby.
"Yes! She's the one I saw last time" says the man.
"Do you know anything about what happened to this man? Could you have done it?"
the doc looked at the girl.
The small girl with an innocent look in her face started "No, I swear I didn't do anything to Uncle. I was just playing with the birdy at that time when it got angry and spit at me. So I twisted it hard, smashed its eggs and burnt its nest."
~ Mr. Z
"That's a bird" answered the man.
"Can I play with it?"
"No!"
"What's the birdy doing?"
"It's sleeping."
The girl went away as the man relaxed more and eventually fell asleep. The next time he woke up, he found himself in a hospital intensive care unit. "How the hell did you get such a nasty injury?" asked the doctor?
"I...don't know! I fell asleep and when I woke up I found myself here" replied the confused man.
"Who was the last person you saw while awake?"
"A small girl on the beach."
"We found this girl at the scene and thought she'd be a valuable witness in this case" said a police inspector standing nearby.
"Yes! She's the one I saw last time" says the man.
"Do you know anything about what happened to this man? Could you have done it?"
the doc looked at the girl.
The small girl with an innocent look in her face started "No, I swear I didn't do anything to Uncle. I was just playing with the birdy at that time when it got angry and spit at me. So I twisted it hard, smashed its eggs and burnt its nest."
~ Mr. Z
S
smlcar
Guest
How can you tell if your girlfriend is horny?
When you put your hand down her pants, it feels like your feeding a horse
When you put your hand down her pants, it feels like your feeding a horse
if he didnt want to be laughed at, he wouldnt have been in a wheelchair.Vega said:
or dead, for that matter.
S
smlcar
Guest
Why is it so hard for women to piss in the morning?
Ever tried peeling grilled cheese apart...
Ever tried peeling grilled cheese apart...
P
PublicFarter
Guest
Q: How bad do jews' fart rate?
A: Don't know, but for suicide potassium cyanide is recommended.
Sounds anti-jewish...well, the topic was tempting.
A: Don't know, but for suicide potassium cyanide is recommended.
Sounds anti-jewish...well, the topic was tempting.
S
smlcar
Guest
Why isn't the queens pu$$y on a stamp?
Would you lick it....
Would you lick it....
Last edited by a moderator:
F
fisktom
Guest
whats the difference between micheal jackson and pimples???
pimples dont cum on your face till your older
whats green and melts in your mouth???
A lepers pen1s
all i can think of atm... sum friggin gd jokes been sed!! made me crack up!
pimples dont cum on your face till your older
whats green and melts in your mouth???
A lepers pen1s
all i can think of atm... sum friggin gd jokes been sed!! made me crack up!
S
smlcar
Guest
What's the definition of self destruction??
An epileptic leper
An epileptic leper
R
Ronin-Jag
Guest
Hey, i wanted to let you know that this forum is great. Keep up the good work.
I hope no ones posted this before.
A frog is sitting on the banks of the River Jordan when a scorpion approaches him
Scorpion: "Hello, would you please do me a favouor and carry me accross the river on your back?"
Frog: "Are you mad? Your going to sting me."
Scorpion: "Now why would i do that, that would cuase me to drown."
satisfied by this, the frog allows the scorpion to jump on his back and starts to swim. About half way accross the River the scorpion stings the frog
Frog: "What the hell did you do that for, no i will die and you will drown"
Scorpion: "Welcome to the Middle East, Bitch!"
I hope no ones posted this before.
A frog is sitting on the banks of the River Jordan when a scorpion approaches him
Scorpion: "Hello, would you please do me a favouor and carry me accross the river on your back?"
Frog: "Are you mad? Your going to sting me."
Scorpion: "Now why would i do that, that would cuase me to drown."
satisfied by this, the frog allows the scorpion to jump on his back and starts to swim. About half way accross the River the scorpion stings the frog
Frog: "What the hell did you do that for, no i will die and you will drown"
Scorpion: "Welcome to the Middle East, Bitch!"
S
Sikots
Guest
First of all, awesome thread, Flemster! Made me laugh for days and made my friends call me a psycopath
To the topic:
For how long may you look at a muslim with one eye closed?
Until the magasine is empty
---
Unicef called the other day and asked if we would take a black child for christmas.
Weird question! Usually we're getting duck!
---
Can't remember if this is seen before in this thread:
If a paki, a mexican and a tyrk is in a car - who's driving?
A policeofficer
---
In an appartment, Ali lives in the first floor, Mustafa in the second floor and Poul in the third floor. An earthquake strikes, who lives?
Poul of course - he was at work
---
The boy come running in the house to his mom excitedly telling: Mom mom, we're sitting at the neighbor watching porn!
Mom: WHAT?!
The boy: Relax mom! It's childporn!
---
The footballmatch between Somalia and Turkey ended up in chaos, when the referee gave the red card to a player. The audience stormed the court, they thought it was a passport.
---
A plane is about to crash, a desperat virgin rips off her cloth and yells: Can anyone make me feel like a real woman before i die?
A man stands up, rips off his cloth, throws it to the virgin and says: HERE! Iron it!
To the topic:
For how long may you look at a muslim with one eye closed?
Until the magasine is empty
---
Unicef called the other day and asked if we would take a black child for christmas.
Weird question! Usually we're getting duck!
---
Can't remember if this is seen before in this thread:
If a paki, a mexican and a tyrk is in a car - who's driving?
A policeofficer
---
In an appartment, Ali lives in the first floor, Mustafa in the second floor and Poul in the third floor. An earthquake strikes, who lives?
Poul of course - he was at work
---
The boy come running in the house to his mom excitedly telling: Mom mom, we're sitting at the neighbor watching porn!
Mom: WHAT?!
The boy: Relax mom! It's childporn!
---
The footballmatch between Somalia and Turkey ended up in chaos, when the referee gave the red card to a player. The audience stormed the court, they thought it was a passport.
---
A plane is about to crash, a desperat virgin rips off her cloth and yells: Can anyone make me feel like a real woman before i die?
A man stands up, rips off his cloth, throws it to the virgin and says: HERE! Iron it!
Last edited by a moderator:
- Status