"Homophobia" does not mean "fear of homosexuals" end of sentence. It means "Fear of or contempt for homosexuals." Based on your posts so far, I think you are homophobic in that you clearly feel contempt for homosexuals.
I think you're wrong about Sandy. And one thing that you seem to be missing is that she, like many people, don't hate the person, but the acts that that person does by choice, voluntarily.
Just a guy walking down the street is nothing to hate or fear or anything else ....but when he publically acknowledges his desires for homosexuality, he becomes something to be disgusted with, perhaps to hate.
See? You're trying to make the connection to the person's desires, his feelings, and the acts that he willingly does with another man. As you might guess, there are many persons in the world who "might" be murderers, but until they actually murder someone, we don't konw it, so we might even like the guy! Big difference between feelings, desires, and giving in to those feelings and desires.
I don't think Sandy hates the person, I think she, like most people, hate the acts of homosexuals. And that, the acts, are their choice ...which they willingly make!
Baron Max