Scivillage

Whew, had a tough day hauling all those vegetables into town for everyone to have. I had to make two trips, I had such an abundance of them. Well the livestock are grazing and I've had my dinner now to sit out on my porch and enjoy some Beethoven while I swing on my porch swing. It is a rather cool evening and perhaps someone will stop by and share a beverage and chat awhile with me out here. I see some headlights from a car on the dirt road nearby but I don't know if they are coming here, time will tell.
 
Day 6 - Crouching tiger Hidden sandwich

I woke up pretty early this morning, all things considered. I had a full days work ahead of me. My crops were ready for harvest. My head was still throbbing from the night before. That scirum packed a powerful punch!

I made my way to the garden and surveyed my crops. These would surely be the best buds the town had ever seen! I glowed with pride as I began pruning my produce. It was a fine day indeed. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, all was good in the world. My thoughts turned to the night before. Had it all been a dream? What was the nature of the relationship between Spurious and the tiger? Did the other party guests know what was really going on?

Sometime after noon I decided to stop for lunch. I went inside and started making myself some sandwiches. As i sat down to eat, I mused to myself "well at least the tiger wont get these ones!" Then it struck me... I knew the tigers weakness... his stomach. Maybe I could make some "special" sandwiches with my prize weed from the backyard. I could leave them on the edge of the forest as a trap for the tiger. I didn't want to hurt it, but perhaps that could sedate it enough so I could get in for a closer look. But anyway, it would have to wait, I had business to attend to and besides, I was out of bread.

I spent the next few hours finishing off my pruning and stashed it all away in a safe place. I decided I would pay a visit to several members of the village with some free samples to help drum up some business. So off I went. I paid a visit to Rogues bar and left some there in exchange for a few pints. I wandered around town giving free samples to all that I met. Certified, Swedish, Ozy, Italiano, Cool skill and many others. My last stop for the day would be Cosmic. He was a farmer on the other side of town and since it was getting dark, he was probably the only place I could buy fresh bread for my sandwich plan this late in the day...
 
Wait, what? I return, my computer cleansed of viruses, but apparently I've fallen in love with someone?! :confused:

Oh well. Maybe I'll play along.

day ?: had quite a mess to pick up today. My heart was broken into one thousand pieces. Very itsy bitsy pieces, you know? Well, I'm not quite sure how to put them back together. Krazy Glue? Perhaps.
 
Day????
Cert's hut.
The night was cold. My wife started talking to me. Anyways I had to find some heat. So I burned some letters I found in the metal chest. I heard some crap about it being love letters, but I didn't bother to read them anyway.
 
SCIVILLAGE
report by: Outcast- spuriousmonkey
night 6 - 'it is dark'


The day was pretty uneventful except that my metal chest with love letters was stolen. Now we will never know what happened with Oz and Fish. I made a mental note to ask one of them tomorrow. Maybe they needed to talk about it.

Somehow my new haircut made me feel energetic. I should stop by the barber more often.


I had nothing much to do all day except watching my scirum being distilled. That got boring after 3 hours and I started making erotic art art again. I took the merchandise to the village market and it sold like hot pancakes.

I was still bored. I had a drink in the bar and walked around a bit. At one point I could swear I saw the tiger inside one of the huts. I was wondering what it was doing there but once I got closer it was gone. I was not sure if I dreamt all this or if the tiger had really been there.

The evening was also quite boring. This was turning out to be the most boring day in scivillage so far. Nothing even happened when I visited the toilets.

I decided that scivillage needed some excitement. I waited until it was night and went to the crop fields of Cosmictraveler. I had a rope and a stick and a plan. It took me three hours, but then I had made the most intricate crop circle anyone has ever seen in scivillage history. I covered my tracks and went to bed.

I was sure that some people would panic in the morning. Aliens had come to scivillage!
 
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Animal:Tiger, Kunax
Night 6 : lobster and calf

After a hard day of sleeping, night had come as the darkness began to set i move out to find something to eat.
North of the village i found a big farm, scouting from the forest edge i could see a big bull he looked mighty tasty, but would not be worth the trouble, no i would take that prime steer that had its own pen, it looked much better then the rest.

While sneaking into the farm i passed some huge holes in the ground filled with water, stopping for a drink i noised some strange looking fish at the bottom of the pond, i tried to catch some but they where just out of me reach, so i jumped in to the pond, and started waking then around, this went on until one got a hold of my paw and squished it in its claw, sending me jumping out of the water.
Stupid fish, the the prime steer was more compelling anyway.

The steer never saw what was coming, before it could move it was dead. While munching on the calf, spuriousmonkey entered the farm, he was no danger i learned, but if he thought i would share my food he would learn otherwise. Luckily spuriousmonkey did not see me and headed into the crop fields.
Not wanting to be disturbed again i took what remained of the calf and headed for the forest where i could eat in peace, only leaving a bloody spot where the calf had died.

Living near the humans was easy, they have food all around them ready for the taking, i thought to my self as i rested in the darkness of the forest, only thing missing was the hunt.
 
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I'd like to be the Town Crier....

"Oyez Oyez listen up i'm new Town Crier yeh woo hoo yeh woo hoo
listen to me shout because i'm the new Town Crier,
God Save the Queen Long live the King and all that stuff.
It's been a lovely day in the village a sunny 35 degrees with
a north north westerly wind, now go home to your loved ones
because there's nothing to see here!"

Oyez Oyez
 
[Apparition mode]

NERD OVERLORD:From beyond the space-time continuum

These nerds perform their functions flawlessly.

This pleases me.

*dorky pose*

[/Apparition mode]
 
"Hear Ye Hear Ye O ignorant villager whom I serve,
type the two special words Town Crier into your local
web search engine and see what pops up,
this has been a proud public service anouncement
from your local service announcer,
The Town Crier of Scivillage,
I bid you all a good evening"

Oyez Oyez
 
The cows were creating a disturbance this morning at about 4 AM, there was a fox chasing after them in the pasture for some reason. It finally ran off only after waking me up. Since I was up I went out and fed the chickens and pigs. I gathered some fresh laid eggs for my morning breakfast while there. Looks like we are in for some rain today by the looks of the sunrise. Ever get up really early and behold the beauty of a sunrise? It will take your breath away! Oh well the leechee nut trees are ready for harvesting so that's what I'll be doing today so good townspeople be prepaired for a gastronomical delight when I bring in a load of them later today.

Wow ! Something made unusual designs in my fields of corn during the night perhaps that is why the fox was in the cows pasture. Rather nice designs they are! I'll try to get images of them to show all of you later today.
 
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day ?: I gave up on trying to put my heart back together. I mean, I've already lost my sanity, what use will compassion be? So I'm keeping the little metal pieces in a jar on my shelf. Maybe I'll think of something useful for them later.
 
I saw the town crier and he was crying as usual. I didn't bother at why he was crying to an ant. I went to my shop and I was suprised that so many people were lined up to get a haircut. "wow" I thought to myself, "I must popular then ever. Well this means that it is more money for me. $$$" :D
 
Day 6:

Haircut and a shave, for me and the little one.

Well, just a haircut for the little one. He can wait another 15 years for the shave.

After that, head out to hunt for some of this scirum I have heard so much talk in town!
 
day ?: during a routine visit to the barber shop old memories were reawakened when the barber put the razor to my cheek. In a frantic spasmodic attack, I grabbed the blade and stabbed the barber to death. I blame spuriousmonkey.

later, when I was looking for a book I misplaced, I saw swedishfish out in the woods, with the same crayon I had given her back in kindergarten. She had constructed an elaborate shrine to this small roll of colored wax. Very curious indeed.

edit: swedishfish's ghost ;)
 
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SCIVILLAGE
report by:
Genius: cool skill

DAY11
I woke up this morning after several straight days of constructing plans for a well in the city town center. The well would reach all the way down to reach the fresh water deep underground. There would even be some form of filter that would filter out most of the dirt in the water that seeps into the well. The filter would have to be changed once every two years.

After bathing, I went into town, and heard about all the chaos that has become of peaceful Scivillage.

I visited Italiano and cosmictraveler to thank them for being the only ones doing anything useful in the community. Even certified psycho kept everybody's hair presentable. I also thanked a few other individuals for trying to keep order.

Somebody told me that some nutcase had smeared residue all over my toilet stall, but thanks to Italiano, there was no trace of it whatsoever.

Later in the day, after walking around to breathe in the fine air, and having dinner at the farm, I retired back to my quarters to finalize my design efforts which shall be delivered to spidergoat for analysis.
 
It seems that swedishfishes body guard was not well enough paid after all. Rumor has it that Ozy saw her in the woods... alive and well. I have not yet decided if this is a good, or a bad thing.
 
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