Scivillage

Animal, Tiger - Kunax
Day 9: From good to bad

Finally found the the puma that's been lucking around my territory, chasing my pray away or hiding it in the tree where I can not reach it.
The puma did not want a fight and quickly turn tail, I chased it around the forest for a while, but lost sight of it near the village. I knew it was still around some where, its scent was in the air, i just had to find it.

Just when i was about to give up, spuriousmonkey came “running” from the village bottle in hand, apparently he had spotted the puma and had come to help. As he approach the puma sprang from its hiding place and ran into the forest, for a human spuriousmonkey was not to bad i though to myself as i ran after the puma, well except for his smell.


Later my newly developed sweet tooth demanded i look for muffins, since i was near Swedishfish secret forest hut anyway.
Entering the garden true a small flower patch, i soon got a nasty surprise, in between the flowers the ground was cover with small razerblade traps, and of cause i had to step on one.
After jumping out of the flower patch to the lawn, I licked my paw clean of blood, I had got my self a “nice” deep cut, but there was nothing i could do about it now. With my newly acquired limp i continued on to find the muffins.
At the table in the garden I could not find any muffins, on top of that it had started to raining, as i limped out the garden staying clear of the flowers, the wound stated to hurt, almost like a snake bit i once got, this just wasn't my day.
 
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Day-109 (what ever)
Today I was in for a real suprise. Kunax the tiger came into my clinic to heal his wound. I said no at first but then seeing how he is a tiger and all. I treated him anyways. I had a plate full of muffins. The moment I turned my back on him, he swiped all the muffins and went out. "Damn that tiger" I said, "Damn him to the bowls of bloody hell". He took my lunch. But what can I do. I stole somebody's lunch from the fridge. :D
 
Another f**kin day

We'll be able to fly
Dont fear the reaper

I was confused. again. I woke up in the bushes outside of rogues bar sometime in the mid morning with a loaf of bread in my hand. I had no idea what day it was or how long I had been out. Guess I was used to drinking Rogues watered down drinks, not Spurious' scirum! Oh well, I gathered myself together and wandered home eating the bread as i went. Then I remembered my plan... the sandwich! I would catch that damn tiger and get to the bottom of all this. When I got home I put some of my choicest buds in the sandwich and left it in a clearing in the forest, near where I had seen the tiger last. I knew if the tiger saw me he would be afraid and probably wouldn't eat the sandwich, so I hid in the bushes and waited... and waited... and waited... I was getting hungry... Damn that sandwich looked tasty... but I kept waiting...
 
Animal, Tiger - Kunax
Day 10: A sleep at the wheel

Must have been sleep walking last night, cannot remember much, My wound feels much better and i have this taste of muffins in my mouth, I wish i knew where i been.

In a clearing in the forest, I found a sandwich on a tree trunk, it was a bit strange, but after looking around i grabbed the sandwich and head off into the forest.
 
Day a hundred:rolleyes:

I went into certified psycho's supposed clinic today, just to see what kind of show he was running(I faked a sore knee).
Talk about a lame clinic, I swear not once did I hear people wailing in agony. People were actually walking out smiling.
Certified psycho didn't even saw open my leg to pull out my knee cap and file the top of my shin bone, ha!
I saw some scapels, but they looked as though they had never pierced resisting flesh! I did not see a rib-opener, colon scrambler, eyelid clamp or even electric hamstring grater. The operating tables had no tethers or shackles, i wondered how he kept patients still while needlessly de-boning them :confused:
Very amateurish outfit I must say.
 
Day-1,000,000,000
Damn that Dr Lou Natic. He found out the secrect front that I have going on in the village. I must turn it into a real clinic just in case somebody finds out.


The clinic is closed for today.....ummmmm renovation, errr yes renovation :m:
 
blood in the trap! so the intruder has returned. i snuck downtown to stake out the clinic. surely the wounded would seek treatment. it turns out the clinic was closed today. all i could see was certified dragging sketchy looking medical equipment in through the back door. on my way back to the forest i caught a glimpse of persol leaving the brothel. at first jealousy flared up my nostrils but then i saw who he was paying. i couldn't help but snicker to myself because i happen to know that The Bike has a bad case of gonorrhea this week, given to him by the idiot whitewolf. serves him right for breaking my heart. mwahahaha!
 
day -4: spuriousmonkey's house REEKS. So I went back, got some smouldering embers, and burnt it down too. Now I'm moving in with certified psycho, but I have to be careful to make sure he doesn't get the temptation to test out some of his new equipment on me ... we have other people to do that.

Right, spuriousmonkey?
 
Day-A trillion
I got my new equipment today. And I wanted to test out my equipment on Ozymandias but he was paying me rent, so i left him alone. I went in search for the tiger. But no luck. Oh well..... I just have to find somebody else......
 
same day

Dammit! My plan failed. The tiger took the sandwich but instead of eating it there, he ran off with it. Now I would have to come up with plan B...
 
Animal, Tiger - Kunax
Day 10:

It was i good sandwich, so I went back to look for more, as i walk back to the place i found the sandwich i start to feel all funny, by the time I was back where i found the sandwich, I was fealing quite frindly, very friendly, very very frindly.

At the oppersit side of the clearing i saw ScRaMbLe. Feeling friedly and all I ran towards ScRaMbLe, at the best speed my dopie legs could carry me, which was not that fast, it seemed like they all wanted to go in oppersit directions.
Approaching ScRaMbLe, he turn around and ran in to the forest, I had found a new "friend". As I stumpled true the forest after ScRaMbLe, I notised we where headed in yh direction of SwedishFish hidout, Then I remembered the muffins, lots of muffins, munching on muffins.
 
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Seeing how I should test my new equipment, I set a trap for that damn tiger. I put a plate full of muffins and I just waited for that cat to come out.
 
SCIVILLAGE
report by: Outcast- spuriousmonkey
Day 10 - 'Party'

I had been away for a few days. I had gone to another village. There was a party there. It is a bit shit that nobody ever organizes a nice party in our village. I would gladly provide scirum for it.

The party was cool. I met this nice girl and hung out with her for the two days I was there and during the party we had lots of fun. She was a good dancer. The party didn't end until late in the morning.


I saw that my hut had burned down. Fortunately I had already moved to new hut nearer to the village. A bit on the edge of the village, since I still needed my privacy. I didn't want to expose the existence of my distillery to everybody.

I noticed that our plumber had installed a sprinkler system in every hut now. There wouldn't be any of these accidents anymore unless someone would sabotage the sprinkler systems.

I got my shit in order in my new house, started a new batch of scirum, and unpacked my bag, but got a bit thirsty from all this. I went to SwedishFish. I could use some tea and a muffin. Well, let's hope she had muffins this time.

SwedishFish was not around. I just went in her hut to make myself some tea. I was sure she wouldn't mind. There were new muffins. I took one and shoved it into my mouth in one go. And then another one. And another one.

The door swung open. I was about to say hello to SwedishFish when I noticed it was not her at all. It was the tiger. The tiger's eyes went back and forth from the tray with muffins to me. I didn't quite get it what it wanted? Did SwedishFish train it to defend her muffins? Was I in trouble now. I didn't chew the last muffin yet I had shoved in my mouth so I took it out of my mouth and put it back on the tray.

The tiger stepped forward and ate all muffins except the one I had put back. It then turned around and went away.

I decided to follow it. I left the tea where it was and the half-chewed muffin.

Where was the tiger going?

On my way out I bumped into ScRaMbLe.
 
Animal, Tiger - Kunax
Day 10: Flying High

I had lost ScRaMbLe somewhere in the forest, but it did not matter now, i was just outside the forest hut, and i wanted muffins.
This time I would not walk true the flowers, I had learn my lesson from last time i did that, no instead i would jump over the nice little garden gate i had seen on previous occasions.
Still suffering from the effect of ScRaMbLe special sandwich, I lacked a bit of coordination, and instead of jumping over the gate, I jump right into it, breaking it little, or perhaps a lot since it was in multiple parts now, To me it was of little importance, i was in the garden with free access to the muffin table.


After searching the empty garden table, i noticed the door to the hut was open, this was new, perhaps there would be muffins inside i thought, as a walk over to the door.
Inside spuriousmonkey had already found the muffins, and was munching away on then.
I look at him while he somehow manage to stuff an entire muffin into his mouth, I did not know humans could have so much in there puny little mouths, thy did not even have any teeth worth showing, not to mention thy only had fur on the top of there head.

As spuriousmonkey took his 2nd muffins, and was just about to swallow the 3rd, he stopped and turned towards me, he look a bit shocked.
I did not care about spuriousmonkey, all i wanted was my muffins, as spuriousmonkey put the muffin back, I walk up to the table, sniff the sweet muffins, then quickly ate them all before spuriousmonkey could take any more of my muffins, only leaving the 1 spuriousmonkey had drooled on.
I pondered munching on spuriousmonkey to, but had come to the conclusion he would properly taste worse then a....(*), so i headed for the door.

spuriousmonkey follow me outside, I was not feeling friendly like before any more, no i wanted to play fight, I would go look for ScRaMbLe, perhaps spuriousmonkey would help me find him, like he did with the puma, and even if we did not find ScRaMbLe, i could just fight spuriousmonkey.
I was feeling great, al thou legs a bit wobbly, I felt I could beat anybody, even the old elephant wonder where he is.

(*)crap, missing word, Black/White animal that use smell as defence, couldn't find an alternate solution this time :)
 
SCIVILLAGE
report by:
Genius: cool skill

DAY17

I woke up bright and early to get a good start on the day. The previous day, I had stayed home to finish sharpening and fine-tuning my knew pocket blade. Later in the morning, I headed towards the woods to test my blade by cutting some vines. I brought my yo-yo which I had completed a few days before. On the way there, I ran into some townsfolk. They mentioned to me that the executioner retired from executioning, and decided to become the unecessary surgeon.

When I arrived to the woods, I found some thick vines to test my pocket blade. It sliced through like butter. I named it Ginsu, and put it away. After going for a brisk walk, I headed home. On the way, somebody threw a net at me, and dragged me kicking and screaming away. It was that new unecessary surgeon, Dr Lou Natic. He brought me to his shed on the far side of town, and threw me on the table. There was an ugly stone statue of a life size moose in the corner. He left mentioning something about getting a saw. I remained alone in the shed, trapped in the net awaiting my impending doom.

Hmm. What could I do? If only I could think of a way out of this mess. If only I had an item that I could use to get out of this predicament. Oh well. I guess I might as well accept my destined mutilation. But wait! I did have something that could help me. Aha! I really am a genius. I reached into my pocket, and pulled out. . .

My yo-yo! I began gnashing the net with the yo-yo. I started spining it around, and ended up hitting myself on the head. Heeeelp! I screamed in hopes that somebody would hear me. This isn't working. Screw this yo-yo! I threw it across the room. It latched onto the antlers of the moose statue. I had forgotten that the yo-yo was still attached to my finger. The next thing I know, the yo-yo was pulling me towards it. As I was flying across the room towards the moose, Ginsu flew right out of my pocket, and sliced the net wide open.

I was free! I gathered my belongings, ran out the door, ran to my hut, sealed the door shut, and got under the bed.
 
Damn that Dr Lou Natic he is stealing my good customers. So I decided to burn his hut. That will teach him.
 
I returned to the scene of the crime to see if certified psycho was still hanging around. To my shock the hut I had stored my post-surgery corpses in was burned into a pile of ash. What a relief it was. The village would have surely strung me up had they found the bounty I created of their mutilated loved ones, still brandishing the horrified facial expressions they brandished as I incised the function out of their forms.
Someone had done me a great deed indeed.
I returned to my glamorous 30 acre estate on the edge of scivillage, and put my matches back into the cupboard, for they were not needed on this fabulous day.
 
still day... 10?
Run through the jungle

Feeling disheartened at the failure of my tiger pacification attempt I began to make my way home. As i was walking along I began to get the feeling I was being watched, but thinking to myself it was just paranoia I kept walking. Suddenly the tiger appeared from nowhere and began bounding towards me, somewhat haphazardly. Faaark!

In an instant i realised I had really not thought things through (something different :p ) I had miscalculated the body weight of the tiger, what I had assumed would render him unconscious had merely made him playful. Now what I had on my hands was a full grown tiger with the munchies looking for something to play with. Not wanting to play the part of "McHappy meal" I did the piss-bolt outta there as fast as possible. He seemed to chase me forever, if he hadn't kept banging into trees n stuff I wouldn't have stood a chance.

Finally, after jumping into some bushes, banging my head on a discarded bell, falling into an ants nest, banging my head on the bell again then rolling into the mud, I escaped.

I was now covered in ant bites,mud and twigs and quite lost. I stumbled around groaning for awhile in the undergrowth until I finally burst out onto a path. There were several people walking nearby so I ran towards them yelling for assistance, but all that came out was an incoherent babble due to tongue swelling from ant bites. They looked terrified and ran away screaming "alien alien crop circles something something"...

Finally making my way back into the village I saw Spurious. I stopped him and shaking my head I said "Spurious... you and me... we gotta talk..."
 
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