day ?: I woke up to see my servant dashing towards town. Upon walking down my grand flight of stairs I saw that the lifelike sculpture of myself that I have been creating for a few weeks now was stabbed, the red paint I had used as the inside of the statue spilled all over my nice wood floors. Pity.
Scivillage
- Thread starter lixluke
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Some fuckin day, who knows...
As my cart pulled back into town I noticed a silence in the air. The silence of a world gone mad. Had I really been gone that long? What had happened here? This seemingly peaceful little village had been gripped by an unfathomable evil, turning man against man, neighbor against neighbor, friends into foes.
Tooth and claw was now law.
As my cart pulled back into town I noticed a silence in the air. The silence of a world gone mad. Had I really been gone that long? What had happened here? This seemingly peaceful little village had been gripped by an unfathomable evil, turning man against man, neighbor against neighbor, friends into foes.
Tooth and claw was now law.
SCIVILLAGE
report by:
Outcast- spuriousmonkey
night 4 - 'I think I am losing it'
The metal chest was gone. Some filthy thief had took it. I examined the footprints around my hut holding a candle clutched in my hands.
Ah, it was Ozymandias. He should be asleep by now. I ran to the village (I was still afraid of the tiger. I heard it roar all evening) and climbed through Ozymandias window. He was asleep. I took the precious metal chest and sneaked out.
There were people moving about on the village square. I decided to hide the chest under Swedishfish's hut. Nobody would look there. I would come back for it tomorrow.
I 'innocently' crossed the square sipping from a bottle of home brewed divine nectar of the gods. Whoopsie...that surely hits quite hard.
I felt an urge to go to the public toilets. It looked like Italiano did a good job fixing them. Was he the only person in this village that ever did anything useful?
I went to the last cublicle, but there was a sign on it. It read 'Only Cool Skill can soil this cubicle'. My communist nature flared up. WHAT some pigs are more equal than others? Doesn't their shit stink too????
I was raving mad. I pushed open the door of the cublicle and smeared excrement everywhere. Satisfied with the results I turned around, only to find a tiger staring at me.
SHIT, what the hell was a tiger doing in the middle of our village? I threw the last handful of shit in his face and jumped over the top of the cubicle. I ran into the first hut I came accross and slammed the door shut.
It was the hut of ....
report by:
Outcast- spuriousmonkey
night 4 - 'I think I am losing it'
The metal chest was gone. Some filthy thief had took it. I examined the footprints around my hut holding a candle clutched in my hands.
Ah, it was Ozymandias. He should be asleep by now. I ran to the village (I was still afraid of the tiger. I heard it roar all evening) and climbed through Ozymandias window. He was asleep. I took the precious metal chest and sneaked out.
There were people moving about on the village square. I decided to hide the chest under Swedishfish's hut. Nobody would look there. I would come back for it tomorrow.
I 'innocently' crossed the square sipping from a bottle of home brewed divine nectar of the gods. Whoopsie...that surely hits quite hard.
I felt an urge to go to the public toilets. It looked like Italiano did a good job fixing them. Was he the only person in this village that ever did anything useful?
I went to the last cublicle, but there was a sign on it. It read 'Only Cool Skill can soil this cubicle'. My communist nature flared up. WHAT some pigs are more equal than others? Doesn't their shit stink too????
I was raving mad. I pushed open the door of the cublicle and smeared excrement everywhere. Satisfied with the results I turned around, only to find a tiger staring at me.
SHIT, what the hell was a tiger doing in the middle of our village? I threw the last handful of shit in his face and jumped over the top of the cubicle. I ran into the first hut I came accross and slammed the door shut.
It was the hut of ....
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Fell in to a trap set by Ozymandias, it must have been one of those instant traps , where you just pour water and puff its ready.
Anyway it did not get much better from there, as he killed me and eat my remains, at least i will get rid of the ghost of persol was my last thought.
Suddenly i was back, what was going one here, how could i be back, and why right smack in the middle of the town, i planed to escape far away, but first i would kill spuriousmonkey, he was the create of the evil canoe thingy and had manage to escape once before, but the would not be a 2nd escape.
I follow him into a building, and saw him enter another smaller house inside, he would be mine when he excited.
Just as the door began to open my sense of smell returned, never have i smell a place so vile, then before i could collect my self, spuriousmonkey put both hands in to a hole and throw what he had collected right in my face, he had escaped again.
So be it i though to myself as i ran for the gate, i to will escape this mad house. On my way there i bumped in to ScRaMbLe, who was trying to wield a sword, smoke the peace pipe and eat some food, all at the same time, i hit him quite hard sending all the item flying, i grab his food and ran to the river, from here i would make my way to the 3nd village.
Anyway it did not get much better from there, as he killed me and eat my remains, at least i will get rid of the ghost of persol was my last thought.
Suddenly i was back, what was going one here, how could i be back, and why right smack in the middle of the town, i planed to escape far away, but first i would kill spuriousmonkey, he was the create of the evil canoe thingy and had manage to escape once before, but the would not be a 2nd escape.
I follow him into a building, and saw him enter another smaller house inside, he would be mine when he excited.
Just as the door began to open my sense of smell returned, never have i smell a place so vile, then before i could collect my self, spuriousmonkey put both hands in to a hole and throw what he had collected right in my face, he had escaped again.
So be it i though to myself as i ran for the gate, i to will escape this mad house. On my way there i bumped in to ScRaMbLe, who was trying to wield a sword, smoke the peace pipe and eat some food, all at the same time, i hit him quite hard sending all the item flying, i grab his food and ran to the river, from here i would make my way to the 3nd village.
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Day.......(shit what day is it)
Any ways. There is trouble in Scivillage. People are dying and shits are being thrown at everyone. Who I tell you who is resopnsible for this. So far the suspects are the usual Mr.Persol and shit smelling Kunax
Any ways. There is trouble in Scivillage. People are dying and shits are being thrown at everyone. Who I tell you who is resopnsible for this. So far the suspects are the usual Mr.Persol and shit smelling Kunax
I fed everyone a good meal then washed up and went to bed.
Whitewolf how are you responsible for that action. You are the village idiot.
I woke up naked in the bubble in the river. "What the hell is this?"... although it sounded more like "gurgle, gurgle, gurgle". I burst my own bubble, swam to shore, and hi-tailed to my cave. Along the way I stopped by the village to pick up some 'friends'.
....
I awake some time later still naked, lying in a bush.
....
I awake some time later still naked, lying in a bush.
why has my guard not been fired???
bu.... ::jaw drops:: 
SCIVILLAGE
report by: Outcast- spuriousmonkey
Day 5 - 'I think I am losing it'
I had stumbled in to the hut of the nerdoverlord, wesmorris. It was obvious by the looks of the interior of the hut. Star wars wallpaper on one side, on the other side star trek wallpaper. All very tastefully done I must admit.
I walked forward out of curiousity. I fell over a collection of boxes. They contained Lord of the Rings figurines. I laughed, what a silly geeky thing to have in your house. I opened all the boxes, and started playing World War 3 with the little silly puppets. I must admit that there were many soldiers losing limbs and heads. I ran into the kitchen and got some ketchup. Oh yes baby, now we have the full effect. I started opening up some other boxes with puppets in them. Some of them looked very old. I figured that he was about to throw those out so I mainly used those to simulate mutilated corpses and wounded. It was all great fun.
I then heard some noises coming from the bedroom. I thought it was about time I left for home. I was getting tired from all this war. I put the mess (i'm a responsible person after all) in the trashcan and left the hut.
The square was empty now. I gathered the metal chest from Swedishfish's hut and borrowed a hammer from the blacksmith.
At home I started hammering on the chest. It started to look a bit shabby now and didn't show any intention of opening yet. Should I burn it? Maybe not. I continued hammering...and to my suprise it sprung open. I didn't feel like stopping to hammer though, so i continued hammering the open chest for another half an hour. It was all great fun.
I then looked to see what was in the chest.
That was kind of disappointing. A bunch of letters. Since I had nothing better to do I started to go through them.
They were love letters...
report by: Outcast- spuriousmonkey
Day 5 - 'I think I am losing it'
I had stumbled in to the hut of the nerdoverlord, wesmorris. It was obvious by the looks of the interior of the hut. Star wars wallpaper on one side, on the other side star trek wallpaper. All very tastefully done I must admit.
I walked forward out of curiousity. I fell over a collection of boxes. They contained Lord of the Rings figurines. I laughed, what a silly geeky thing to have in your house. I opened all the boxes, and started playing World War 3 with the little silly puppets. I must admit that there were many soldiers losing limbs and heads. I ran into the kitchen and got some ketchup. Oh yes baby, now we have the full effect. I started opening up some other boxes with puppets in them. Some of them looked very old. I figured that he was about to throw those out so I mainly used those to simulate mutilated corpses and wounded. It was all great fun.
I then heard some noises coming from the bedroom. I thought it was about time I left for home. I was getting tired from all this war. I put the mess (i'm a responsible person after all) in the trashcan and left the hut.
The square was empty now. I gathered the metal chest from Swedishfish's hut and borrowed a hammer from the blacksmith.
At home I started hammering on the chest. It started to look a bit shabby now and didn't show any intention of opening yet. Should I burn it? Maybe not. I continued hammering...and to my suprise it sprung open. I didn't feel like stopping to hammer though, so i continued hammering the open chest for another half an hour. It was all great fun.
I then looked to see what was in the chest.
That was kind of disappointing. A bunch of letters. Since I had nothing better to do I started to go through them.
They were love letters...
congratulations sciforums. we've been here how many days? and this is our village: http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/maximumdestruction.html
this should be a lesson to never let smart people charter anything. that spaceship heading away from our soon to be destroyed earth....we won't be on it.
this should be a lesson to never let smart people charter anything. that spaceship heading away from our soon to be destroyed earth....we won't be on it.
Day-????????
Today I am cutting my own hair again. Not going well.
Today I am cutting my own hair again. Not going well.
Scivillage 2 - Judgement day
I stepped out of my hut, sword in one hand, bong in the other. I decided to make my way to Rogues bar. No-one had seen Rogue in quite some time so I decided, since I had no other clues, this would be a good place to start. Besides, I needed a drink.
I was no more than 100 metres down the road when, withou warning, I was attacked. Before I even had a chance to swing my sword, the tiger they call Kunax leaped out of the bushes and sent me sprawling. My sword went one way, my bong went the other and my knapsack containing all my food fell to the ground. In a flash Kunax pounced upon the knapsack, gripped it in his mouth and went bounding off into the undergrowth. Now I was really angry, for I had made sandwiches.
I began to give chase, but then I recalled an earlier conversation I had with Cool skill and realised that the tiger would be moving much too fast for me to catch him. I gave up and turned around and went back to gather my things. Tp my dismay, the bong lay broken in the mud. I picked up my sword, dusted myself off and made my way to the bar.
Having arrived at the bar I ordered a drink and began asking around for clues about what was going on in the village. From what information I could glean from the intoxicated patrons, the trouble had started when some loony called Persol had blown up the local outhouse in an attempt to kill some hermit called Spurious Monkey. No one knew why, but one guy said something about "bumfight". I didn't know what he meant.
I decided I would try and find this Spurious Monkey and see what he could tell me about the situation.
I stepped out of my hut, sword in one hand, bong in the other. I decided to make my way to Rogues bar. No-one had seen Rogue in quite some time so I decided, since I had no other clues, this would be a good place to start. Besides, I needed a drink.
I was no more than 100 metres down the road when, withou warning, I was attacked. Before I even had a chance to swing my sword, the tiger they call Kunax leaped out of the bushes and sent me sprawling. My sword went one way, my bong went the other and my knapsack containing all my food fell to the ground. In a flash Kunax pounced upon the knapsack, gripped it in his mouth and went bounding off into the undergrowth. Now I was really angry, for I had made sandwiches.
I began to give chase, but then I recalled an earlier conversation I had with Cool skill and realised that the tiger would be moving much too fast for me to catch him. I gave up and turned around and went back to gather my things. Tp my dismay, the bong lay broken in the mud. I picked up my sword, dusted myself off and made my way to the bar.
Having arrived at the bar I ordered a drink and began asking around for clues about what was going on in the village. From what information I could glean from the intoxicated patrons, the trouble had started when some loony called Persol had blown up the local outhouse in an attempt to kill some hermit called Spurious Monkey. No one knew why, but one guy said something about "bumfight". I didn't know what he meant.
I decided I would try and find this Spurious Monkey and see what he could tell me about the situation.
I finally brought the harvest in from the fields by myself. Seeing that no one ever visits my farm because it is to far away I'm told. I shall take it into town and put it in the storage bins there for everyone to share as they need it.