Scivillage

I received an anonymous letter today in the mail. I guess the serial killer must have skipped the postman, or maybe the postman is the serial killer.

the letter said:

"Dear outcast,

there is a secret cave somewhere deep in the forest. It is a magical cave with its own food dispensor thingy, that seconds as a cleaning unit and a giant play room with a equaly giant ball of garn, which still remains undefeated.

I dare you to find it!!"

That sounded like a challenge to me. I knew a thing or two about secret caves being an outcast, always on the lookout for a secret cave to hide in. If anyone could find it then it was me.

I set out to find it, but didn't quite notice that someone was following me.

I stopped by swedishfish's house and stuffed my bag with muffins. Still no sign of swedishfish though. Maybe she went to go to the muffin tree to collect more muffins. I wish where that tree was. I left some scirum on her table.

Soon I reached the forest. I was now in unknown territory, but I wasn't stupid. I left a trail of muffin crumbs behind me, so I could find my way back. haha...me so smart.
 
Somewhere in a tree-hut in Scivillage:

owww...my head hurts... now, where am I??? Ah yes, this is my hut in Scivillage. This headache really gets annoying... and those weird dreams about isles that got lost in space and people starting to live in castles...

Better go out and look what is going on.
 
Well... let me see if I can piece it together again.

Sometime back, there was a near apocalypse that destroyed the village, but I think that was on another timestring or some such thing.
Then, nearly everyone here was stoned/drunk or both and most had weird hallucinations. SexyBlueFeet left and Invert Nexus became crazy, establishing his rule in a nearby sanitarium. At one point, he escaped and started to fling shit at the villagers while Rosa was transformed into a stone statue due to a necklace I found on an archeological excursion.
Then the unicorn Jenyar appeared and we rode to the Heavenly meadows or something like that to restore Spurious (At least I think it was Spurious) to health because he was injured.
Invert nexus lost his soul, so he should still be an empty shell, standing on the market square where I left him. Then, there was nearly no activity until a few days ago and those that are left (the others are probably sitting around on the Isles of Sci...) just awaken from a period of unconsciousness. (wasn't there are pink beam coming from the heavens the last time I looked out of the window?)

There you have a short resume.
 
I am deep into the forbidden forest now. I suddenly I realize that i need a haircut. Luckily I left a trail of muffin crumbs so I can find my way back to the village.

I turn around. I see a trail of birds on the ground behind me. Ah...nice birds..they saw me and decided to join my quest. Now out of my way birds...OY...WHERE ARE MY GODDAMN MUFFIN CRUMBS!!!

oh shit...
 
In his rage the Outcast throws his bottle of scirum at the poor little birds, but they are to quick to see and quickly escapes to the sky, suceess the outcast thinks to himself. But success his success was short lived, because on the ground not 10 feet away the outcast last remaning bottle of of scirum lies broken in a pool of scirums, the is all to much for the poor fella and as loud as he can he screams "Noooooooooooooooooooo, me rum".

Near by the barber was scufling around the forest floor, looking for something he could use in make a new scent for his after-shave, so far he had had little luck, he only manage to find some white barries that didn't taste all that good but what the hell he thougth and filled his back.
The he heared a scream and rushed as fasts as his barber legs could carry him of towards the sound, it had sounded like somebody deing, maybe I can help he thougth.

Also close by but not as close as the barber and from another direction, the dreamer was teaching his dog Sheap to play catch while his monkey friend Ape was reading a book, when he to hear the scream and of he went, forgetting his dog who now had to play with Ape.
 
Dreamwalker said:
Well... let me see if I can piece it together again.

Sometime back, there was a near apocalypse that destroyed the village, but I think that was on another timestring or some such thing.
Then, nearly everyone here was stoned/drunk or both and most had weird hallucinations. SexyBlueFeet left and Invert Nexus became crazy, establishing his rule in a nearby sanitarium. At one point, he escaped and started to fling shit at the villagers while Rosa was transformed into a stone statue due to a necklace I found on an archeological excursion.
Then the unicorn Jenyar appeared and we rode to the Heavenly meadows or something like that to restore Spurious (At least I think it was Spurious) to health because he was injured.
Invert nexus lost his soul, so he should still be an empty shell, standing on the market square where I left him. Then, there was nearly no activity until a few days ago and those that are left (the others are probably sitting around on the Isles of Sci...) just awaken from a period of unconsciousness. (wasn't there are pink beam coming from the heavens the last time I looked out of the window?)

There you have a short resume.
Click to expand...


You forgot me...I did assist the Communist Hamster in destroying the known Universe, y'know. Ya could at least remember that, sheesh...
 
I saw the trouble happening right now so i decided to leave all this crap and go back to my shop to work on my secret after-shave lotion.....
 
After leaving the Isles, and eating alot of squid, i finally made it to land....back at Scivillage......

...confusing. But hey, i'm back. Mwah ha ha ha......

Went to my hut. Aired it out. Washed stuff. Ate. Rolled out a towel at my favourite rock....and i'm guessing you lot can guess what i did. :D

So what have i missed? Who's still round?
 
I was in a state of complete shock. I saw my life flash before my eyes...and what a sad life it had been. It made me cry even more.

Then the barber came out of the bushes. My problems were gone. I need a haircut barber...indiana jones style please...i am on a quest.

With a great new styling I received and now I was all pleased with myself and ready. The only thing that bothered me was where my muffin trail had gone. Clearly the birds had noticed too that my muffin crumb trail had gone and were inspecting it from up close.

Never mind...I heard a tiger roar from afar.

i set put in the direction I thought it came from, but lost my bearing in the dense forest undergrowth almost immediately. Not to worry. If lost, always push on!!!!

That was what my great grandfather, a famous explorer had said in his last letter from dark africa to his son. Nobody had ever seen or heard of him again. But who would know better than a experiienced explorer?

haha...nobody!

or maybe the barber, but I lost track of him now...last time I saw him he was sipping from the bottle of scirum I paid him with...
 
After a day of sunbaking and being very tanned now, i began to alter my hut as to give it two rooms. Then i proceeded to invent a small hovercraft to fly up and down the river. Did that for a few hours, then created a new one. Anyone want to race? Prize debated on beforehand.
 
SCIVILLAGE
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Genius: cool skill

DAY287
Ever since the ark lifted off into outer space, I have been able to fly.
I was flying around the entire ocean, and got lost.
Today, I finally found the village.
I saw somebody in some strange contraption scurrying up and down the river.
I flew over the forest area, and was attacked by birds.
As I plummeted through the trees, and on to the forest floor, I screamed at the top of my lungs. . .
 
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the quest for the tiger is still on. I'm deep into the forbidden forest now and surely I must be close. I haven't heard the tiger roar for quite some time now, but maybe it is sleeping. I read once that big cats sleep a lot. Or maybe it is stalking prey. But what kind of prey. Maybe it is stalking me. I feel a shudder going up my spine and a cold sweat has started running down my back. I notice that the birds have stopped singing. I frantically scan the treeline for tigers.

I see none...i feel relieved. But then I remember that tigers are the masters of camouflage. I feel my bladder emptying. god damn,...not again.

I take of my pants and go to a near by stream to wash them. I let them dry on a bush and take a nap. I'm sure a tiger wouldn't be so uncivilized to attack a halfnaked man. A tiger is the king of the jungle after all. '

When I wake up from my nap I see that my pants are dried. I try to put them on but I let out a scream. AAAAAAAHhhhh...my bits were burned in the midday sun when I was taking a nap. I can't wear any pants...it is just too painful...'

I go and sit in the stream and sip my last scirum...what a shitty day this is turning out to be.
 
I cannoe down the river for something to do, as the lack of people around has become spooky and depressing. I get about 3 k's down when i find Spurious walking around without his trousers and no underwear whatsoever. This fact, and a lack of sunscreen, has caused the inevitable effect of sunburn on parts not usually talked about.....well, not here, but elsewhere.

I offer him a lift back home, but he took two steps and fell down, reaking of rum. I gave him my emergancy bottle of scirum, as this looked like a serious emergency. Leaning him against a tree and dragging my boat to land, i find a tree with a giant red button. Above that, there were the words carved into the tree:

DO NOT PUSH. PROBABLE END OF THE WORLD.
REPEAT, DO NOT PUSH

Well, there was only one thing for it. I pushed the button. What else was there to do? Had i not pushed it, i would have been wondering about it for the rest of my life.
I can here a rumble. Slight at first, but getting louder and louder. Dust appears on the horizon. I drag Spurious into a hollow of another tree. This situation feels slightly familiar. Climbing higher, i see trunks and masses of wrinkled grey skin approaching....
....why is it always elephants??
 
I am thinking that the bottle of rum that sexy-blue-feet gave me must have been really potent stuff. I am seeing a hord of elephants...haha...I am delusional. I jump out and walk towards the nice elephants chanting : coochiecoochie coooooo....
 
Still trying to track spurious through the jungle I hear a familiar sound... the pounding feet of elephants, quite a lot of elephants actually. Judging from the direction they are coming from straight ahead and would probably run me over. Cautiously I take to the trees and head into the direction where I suppose the monkey to be, and the elephants.
 
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