Gend, ok I'll answer you . I'm on eastern standard time in the USA.
One: God made a plan before I was born. He knew what I would need and what I would do before I even lived. Otherwise He would not be omniscient, and therefore would not be God. On the otherhand, He gave me a free-will to make my own choices. I chose to do things His way, therefore I am in His
permissive will, which still gives me a lot of choices that He can accept. All I have to do is ask and obey.
Two: God's plan is not as rigid as you envision it to be. He did not slate you for defeat, and God does not play favorites. To God there is no past, present, and future. God created time before there was time. God's existence is an eternal "now" event, and so is ours after we die. Time will cease to exist, but God will not.
Three: Concerning God's will, 2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
ALL includes everybody. All includes
you. That was God's original plan -- that mankind would be in fellowship with Him.
God can not lie. When He says something He makes it come true because He has the power to do so.
So I might ask, what is holding you back? Don't you trust Him? Do you have trouble believing miracles? Do you wonder if the Bible is really correct? These concerns are all realistic.
MY answer is this: look at Jesus. Don't look at me or anyone else, look at Jesus. I have looked and I believe He is God
in person. Once I believed that, the rest followed. Jesus is the body, mind, and heart of the Christian faith. The choice is yours to believe Him or not.