"No Masturbation or Porn for you!?"

draqon i find that insulting, marrage isnt the be all and end all.

We are in a defacto relationship which means bar a couple of things we are concidered to be equivlant to married. This includes property rights ect


Ask shorty if she things that she "hasnt commited" because her and her partner arnt married (actually i think we have been in together the same time as shorty and her partner)
 
occasionally, she does want to get married before we have kids though to be honest i would rather not burn money on a piece of paper which means nothing anyway.

She DOES want to get engarged but i cant aford the ring:(
 
Well I got married because we planned on having kids. I think you should get married if you are going to have kids. It still doesn't mean it will last forever, but you have to take your chances, and hopefully it will work out.

I am not in any hurry to get married again. Since I already have kids there is no reason to get married for the sake of starting a family. I think we haved lived together 6 yrs now. We feel just as committed as if we were married. It really doesn't feel any different. The only thing missing is that little piece of paper. We both really don't feel the need to make it official because to be honest we are both a little tainted on the whole thing, both being divorced.
 
That sounds more like control issues than anything else. Being with someone who has different religioius views than yourself is obviously going to require compromise, but if it really bothers you, then you should make your feelings known. If no sexual release at all prior to marriage is important to her, but isn't worth the wait to you then you seriously need to talk.
 
my uncle is a devorcee who has been with his partner well and truly longer than he was ever with his wife. I think from memory they devorced within 2 years of getting married but he has been with his current partner at least 10 years (actually it has to be longer than that, maybe 15 years?). The only person who really cares that they arent married is my grandmother who is deeply catholic but they are happy so who cares

As the laws relating to defactos are getting closer all the time the paper means nothing with or without kids. Even as defactos if we split the our assests would be divided EACTLY the same way as a married couple

My brother is married but PB and I keep having bets on how long that will last seeing as there total relationship is less than 4 years. Where as PB and i have been together for more than 6 if you take the whole relationship into account (rather than just from when the goverment counts us as defactos)

So as i said i find the whole marriage thing usless but she wants to do it so we will, i dont care enough one way or the other to make it a huge issue. Really the only thing stopping us now is finances
 
shorty_37 said:
Yeah no porn! but he can masturbate whenever he wants.
Click to expand...
Here you go again! What's wrong with a little visual stimulation?
EmptyForceOfChi said:
just wait 1 and a half years until we get married.
Click to expand...
:eek: Now that's unreasonable. If you want to get married, and you're having a kid (actually, kids) together, why wait a year and a half? Get married immediately. Twins are often premature. No one may be the wiser.

One great thing about Christianity is that if you repent, you're forgiven. So get married right away to give those twins a father, and get back to knockin' boots with a clean slate. It's not a sin anymore once you're married.

Unless you don't want to marry her, but if you do, do it now. Problem solved.
 
Last edited:
actually its a case of the ring i want to buy her rather than anything else.

I could give her the plastic ring out of a kellogs box if i didnt care but i do and i want something very specific. Unfortunatly that means i have to pay for it:p
 
EmptyForceOfChi said:
Nah, I couldent do it because I know afterwards she is going to feel like crap. She wants to have sex mentaly and pysicaly and she enjoys it alot, it's just that her church has got her feeling really guilty about it, constantly saying how it's a sin. She wont even tell the church she is pregnant because it makes her feel ashamed, we spoke about it and she said she now feels it will make her inpure after the baptism, she was even asking me if I think foreplay was included in the rules in fornication, I said I don't know.


I asked her why she feels it is wrong to have sex before being married, she said because thats what the bible says and god wouldent want it. her religion is starting to really piss me off ore and more each day, she said please dont cheat on me and please dont leave me, just wait 1 and a half years until we get married.


lol am I the only person who thinks this whole thing is stupid?.


peace.
Click to expand...

get her away from the church. they're preparing her for a lifetime of guilt and snobbery. this is the tip of the iceberg. switch her to some laidback non-denominational church or something. do it for her and the children.
 
madanthonywayne said:
Here you go again! What's wrong with a little visual stimulation?
Click to expand...

What does it matter to you? You don't have to live with me. If your wife is fine with what you do that is all that matters. If she has no problem with you going on about "hot chicks" all the time, good for you.

That is what I have been saying. What works for one relationship doens't work for another. People have different rules/ guildlines whatever you want to call them. For some there are things that would be deal breakers in the relationship.

If something bothers me that much, why would I try to supress how I really feel about it. All that is going to happen is I will blowup about other things that don't really bother me, just because I am generally pissed off.

That is isn't me. If I am pissed about something, I will let you know. I am not one of these women who will complain to their girlfriends, and Oh what can I do? You need to talk to your man!! If something is bothering you about what he is doing SPEAK UP!
 
Asguard said:
actually its a case of the ring i want to buy her rather than anything else.

I could give her the plastic ring out of a kellogs box if i didnt care but i do and i want something very specific. Unfortunatly that means i have to pay for it:p
Click to expand...

If you didn't care? What about her? I think she deserves a little more then a ring from a cereal box, considering you barely give her any sex.
 
Asguard said:
....She DOES want to get engarged but i cant aford the ring:(
Click to expand...

wow, and she's been swallowing that excuse for 5 years. :bugeye: Most jewelry stores here will do a payment plan. And if she was a girl who was all about flash/diamonds/money I don't think she'd be with you to start with.
 
as i said orleander i care to much to buy her a cheep ring, plus she likes white gold which ups the price. oh and in order to do that sort of payment plan i need 20% of the rings value up front which i simply dont have. We live week to week unfortuantly:(

Oh and on the first bit of your comment who the fuck asked you wether she belives the truth, as she knows how much money is in my bank accounts (she can access them the same as i can after all and does whenever she needs money) she knows im not lying when i say i HAVE no money to spend on it.
 
Ok...now my serious answer.

I think religious people have been demonizing sex for centuries as a means of controlling the extra-maritial birth of babies. What better way to keep unwed people from making babies than to tell them doing so will result in eternal damnation. Without any birth control, it was the only way.

For someone who was raised their whole life to believe that sex is evil and wrong,it's not going to be easy for them to transition into another mode of thinking. It's not like you can throw a switch. Even after marriage, it will probably take some time for her to get used to the idea that sex is now ok.

Needless to say...I wouldn't be expecting any BJ's on your wedding night.
 
MacGyver why would they bother?

It goes deeper than that. It has to do with control in the political sence. Pre roman catholic church sex was a form of worship. This didnt sit well with the emporer of rome who wanted ALL power for himself. If people could just have sex to talk to god what would be the point of priests and the church. This would lessen his power over "his" people so he made sex something dirty and demonised all the fertility symbols

Look at the symbol of satan, it bares a remarkable resemblance to the greek male fertility god. The word HORNY comes from the horns on that god (he was half goat if i rember correctly)
 
shorty_37 said:
What does it matter to you?
Click to expand...
I know that issue sets you off. Just having a bit of fun. I came across a picture and thought of a comment you made once about cabbage:
alyssa-copy.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top