considering what you said, i thought you might want to read this ... http://wakinyanmani.blogspot.ru/2005/05/my-imaginary-friend.html
Jokes and Funny Stories II
- Thread starter Billy T
- Start date
He did the chicken thing after he left me
and a short time before Mary
(my female) imaginary friend moved in
Another thing, which came a few later,
I regretted about Mary running away
I never got to see her tits
Looking back she was just starting to show
but to early for a training bra
when she left
Opportunity missed
Did Noah have termites on the ark?
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
There's good climate in heaven, but better company in hell.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
What is the difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
There's good climate in heaven, but better company in hell.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
What is the difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
<>
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He did the chicken thing after he left me
and a short time before Mary
(my female) imaginary friend moved in
Another thing, which came a few later,
I regretted about Mary running away
I never got to see her tits
Looking back she was just starting to show
but to early for a training bra
when she left
Opportunity missed
My imaginary friend thought I was the imaginary friend.
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2nd was
Home delivery means wait at the front door
Not deliver to the room
Darth Vader
I know what you are getting for your Birthday Luke Skywalker
Luke
Nobody knows what I am getting for my Birthday
Darth
I KNOW what you you are getting for your Birthday
Luke
How can you possibly know what I am getting for my Birthday?
Darth
I have felt your presence
I know what you are getting for your Birthday Luke Skywalker
Luke
Nobody knows what I am getting for my Birthday
Darth
I KNOW what you you are getting for your Birthday
Luke
How can you possibly know what I am getting for my Birthday?
Darth
I have felt your presence
l
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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pew.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Moses started out as a basket case.
I heard jogging could add years to my life. I feel ten years older already.
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
Is reverse psychology when I make my therapist cry?
Nurse: "Doctor why is there a thermometer behind your ear?".
Doctor: "Damn! Some asshole must have my pen!"
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Moses started out as a basket case.
I heard jogging could add years to my life. I feel ten years older already.
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
Is reverse psychology when I make my therapist cry?
Nurse: "Doctor why is there a thermometer behind your ear?".
Doctor: "Damn! Some asshole must have my pen!"
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Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.
Why don't the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?
Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage.
Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
My wife and I had a two-hour fight about whether or not we were fighting.
The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.
Me: let's go this way. Shopping cart: no.
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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.
Why don't the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?
Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage.
Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
My wife and I had a two-hour fight about whether or not we were fighting.
The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.
Me: let's go this way. Shopping cart: no.
<>
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No
Within my brain without moving my lips
Was it real or did you only imagine it?
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