Do you think swinging is an acceptable lifestyle?

Which is supposed to mean what, exactly?

cats, fans, coincidences, and fate.... marriage, love, lust and somone out of town.

And?
 
Dark Master:

"But in love, I believe it's natural, or ok, to say "oh, I would fuck her, she's hot, but I love my girl so I can't do that." "

Ah, no. It's natural for a male to attempt to impregnate (read: fuck the bejezus out of) every female he can.

D'OH!

Squid:

"Which is supposed to mean what, exactly?

cats, fans, coincidences, and fate.... marriage, love, lust and somone out of town."

Obviously, the meaning is 42. Or in light of the origional subject matter, perhaps it is 69.
 
Xev you ignored my questions once again.

Why don't you just plain ignore me already? I don't want to waste my time debating with baseless people. :)
 
Chosen:

Sorry, I have a special program installed on my computer. It's like one of those porn sheilds, but it works on idiotic statements.

So, I could not see your drivel.

Of course you know what love is, but what do you think it is about?

I don't believe in labelling emotions specifically.

Yes, that is what I think. Love is like a friendship on fire. In long term relatioships, friendship is a very important aspect, that's if you had any long term relationships at all Xev.

*Smiles*

See, there you go, you've got the attributes but not the essence. I described to you the search for the essence.

Is love about respect to you?

Define "love"

Is love about honesty to you?

Define "love"

Is love about commitment to you?

Define "love"

Is love about kindness and compassion to you?

Define "love"

How can I answer these questions without a definition of love?

You're stuck on the attributes, kid.
 
Originally posted by Xev
Chosen:

Sorry, I have a special program installed on my computer. It's like one of those porn sheilds, but it works on idiotic statements.
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Great.

So, I could not see your drivel.
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How nice.

I don't believe in labelling emotions specifically.

*Smiles*

See, there you go, you've got the attributes but not the essence. I described to you the search for the essence.
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Ok, why didn't you just ask me to give you this "essence" :)

I don't feel like writing it out myself, but this post explains it the best, better than I can explain it.

By VeryBadGirl

We talk about the “friendzone” when you first meet someone – that non-sexual, brother/sister-like place where it is hard to move to dating or romance from. You don’t want to get into that because it is difficult to get out of.

But, there is a different kind of friendzone that you want to be in once you move into a serious LTR, because it is the only way that LTR is going to remain happy and last.

Some people have the idea that a relationship is going to be all flowers and dinners and romantic walks in the rain. Or passionate hot sex, steamy vacations and exciting dates.

In reality, these things are not what a relationship is all about. Don’t get me wrong, you will have these things in a good relationship – and plenty of them.

But, what makes up most of day to day of life, and hence most of a relationship, is the ordinary. Sleeping, waking up, getting dressed, paying the bills, taking out the trash, cooking dinner, sitting around the dinner table, talking, vacuuming, eating, etc.

Now think about your friends – your best friends. The people that you know well and who are your allies, supporters, and sympathizers. You accept them for who they are, you would do almost anything for them and you derive pleasure from simply chilling with them.

Because you love who they are, you enjoy talking to them and simply being with them. Since you find them interesting to just talk to and be with, you can spend an evening sitting around, drinking beer and playing cards and have a great time.

This is what companionship is all about. To have this in a relationship, you have to be more than just "boyfriend and girlfriend" or lovers, you have to actually be friends. You have to be comfortable enough to lay around in sweatpants on a Sunday morning eating cereal in bed and enjoy doing it.

Researchers who study couples and what makes or breaks them, say the best marriages harmonize. It is the constant reassurance, both verbal and in actions, that let their partner know that they are loved and accepted despite minor differences or minor problems.

This is exactly how you treat a good friend if you want to be a good friend to them.

When you are in a good LTR, a true friendship must be a central part of your relationship.

Obviously, friendship cannot be the entire relationship, because then you would just be friends. But, it must be a primary component of how you and your partner relate to each other.

In a good relationship, there should be thrills, romance, excitement, intellectual conversations, tingling sensations, crazy sex, wild passion and deep desire.

These are things that should frequently flavor everyday life, but don’t define it.

In the end, if you do not enjoy the simple mundane with your partner, the relationship is doomed to failure.
Click to expand...

Relationships are where people should like you for "who you really are." You already passed the attraction stage.

Attraction is another story, if who are you can't attract, improve.

Is love about respect to you?

Define "love"

Is love about honesty to you?

Define "love"

Is love about commitment to you?

Define "love"

Is love about kindness and compassion to you?

Define "love"

How can I answer these questions without a definition of love?

You're stuck on the attributes, kid.
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Ok, little girl, you already have the definition of love, it is an emotion. But what do you think this emotion is about?

Do you have conviction of a higher meaning of it?
 
Xev, I realize that you do not want to be tied down by serious relationships and love. Marriage and swinging around can be likened to being a farmer and a hunter/gatherer. Sure, being free is cool, but sooner or later you have to stick to one place and start building. Being free is way cool. Giving up some privileges and building up something is even cooler. Your choice, Xev. Hey, what say we start dating and test out some theories, babe? :D

Seriously, though, swinging around is cool when you are young. You're carefree, and hot. But what happens when you get old? Your sex hormones and that drive will decrease. That is when sleeping around begins to get old. That is the time when a successful relationship (at that time it will hopefully be able to be called a "marriage") will provide the emotional support that you need.

Define love? Hm. Tough one. But I will say that love is the natural emotion that arises out of a man and a woman doing their utmost to support one another. Ach, I will come up with a more elegant sentence when I can.


I tend to sound puritanical, eh? Good thing I have "atheist" posted on my profile and title otherwise people would mistake me for a fundamentalist christian. Har har. But y'know, there are things and rules that would be rather good to keep. Your choice.

And sorry Xev, but you seem to be avoiding Chosen's questions. Asking someone to define something as an answer is nto the best thing to do. But, I still love you Xev :D
 
Originally posted by Xev
Dark Master:

"But in love, I believe it's natural, or ok, to say "oh, I would fuck her, she's hot, but I love my girl so I can't do that." "

Ah, no. It's natural for a male to attempt to impregnate (read: fuck the bejezus out of) every female he can.

D'OH!
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Hmph, I believe we are higher beings now and different from animals. And yeah, it's natural for him to attempt have sex with the female of his choice, not every female, but no longer impregnate (thanks to condoms, etc.) But with life now and with love and thoughts, we can stop those 'natural instincts' and decide for ourself JA? :D

Sooo where are you trying to get to here??? :bugeye:
 
Chosen:

I don't feel like writing it out myself, but this post explains it the best, better than I can explain it.
Click to expand...

That is not love. And that's hardly the essence of love.

You're looking at a subjective phenomena as if it could be an objective phenomena, and you're asking me to do the same.

Not happening. The best I can do is to quote the artists, who are better at exploring subjective truth than a scientist can:

DEPECHE MODE LYRICS

(Black Celebration) A Question Of Lust

Fragile
Like a baby in your arms
Be gentle with me
I'd never willingly
Do you harm
Apologies
Are all you seem to get from me
But just like a child
You make me smile
When you care for me
And you know......

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Independence
Is still important for us though (we realise)
It's easy to make
The stupid mistake
Of letting go (do you know what I mean)

My weaknesses
You know each and every one (it frightens me)
But I need to drink
More than you seem to think
Before I'm anyone's
And you know......

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Kiss me goodbye
When I'm on my own
But you know that I'd
Rather be home

It's a question of lust...

Which is a decent observation. But I doubt you will accept it.

Ok, little girl, you already have the definition of love, it is an emotion. But what do you think this emotion is about?
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It's an emotion. I linked to several articles showing what the emotion was "about".

Love is a sensation produced in the brain by several different types of neurochemicals. That's what it's "about".

Any additional interpretation is purely subjective.

Do you have conviction of a higher meaning of it?
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I'm an athiest and a materialist, Chosen. Now I realize you have problems understanding athiesm, but you should have gotten the materialist bit down.

Materialists don't believe in spiritual woo-woo concepts like "higher meanings" of love. In fact, it's kinda the definition of a materialist....:rolleyes:

Zero:
Xev, I realize that you do not want to be tied down by serious relationships and love.
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I'm generally too complex for assumptions about me to be correct, Zero.

Seriously, though, swinging around is cool when you are young. You're carefree, and hot. But what happens when you get old? Your sex hormones and that drive will decrease. That is when sleeping around begins to get old. That is the time when a successful relationship (at that time it will hopefully be able to be called a "marriage") will provide the emotional support that you need.
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*Shrugs*
Again, this is all subjective. I'm a sort of empiricist romanticist. *Grins*

http://www.philosopher.org.uk/rom.htm

This is too complex to be explained here, but suffice to say that I find your pragmatic approach to these things - to be rather unfulfilling. I don't believe in marriage - of course - but I especially don't believe in becoming involved with another person simply for "I have emotional and sexual needs".

As Nietzsche put it:

Your love to woman, and woman's love to man- ah, would that it
were sympathy for suffering and veiled deities! But generally two
animals alight on one another.

Define love? Hm. Tough one. But I will say that love is the natural emotion that arises out of a man and a woman doing their utmost to support one another. Ach, I will come up with a more elegant sentence when I can.
Click to expand...

I think you're trying to objectively label a subjective phenomena.

I tend to sound puritanical, eh? Good thing I have "atheist" posted on my profile and title otherwise people would mistake me for a fundamentalist christian. Har har. But y'know, there are things and rules that would be rather good to keep. Your choice.
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They may serve your purposes - again, my conception of how one should approach love is "most unnatural in an age like this".

As for "good to keep" - you still need to accept that this is completely subjective.

Dark Master:

Hmph, I believe we are higher beings now and different from animals. And yeah, it's natural for him to attempt have sex with the female of his choice, not every female, but no longer impregnate (thanks to condoms, etc.)
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Define "higher". How are we different from animals? What animals? How much time have you spent studying ethology?

Anyways, the desire to impregnate manifests itself in the desire to fuck. That is why, as Xev says

"No, sex is about fun!"

Again, subjective phenomena, do with it what you will.

But with life now and with love and thoughts, we can stop those 'natural instincts' and decide for ourself JA?
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Coming from another "DJ", this is inadvertently hilarious. Mr. "Getting Girls through Hypnosis" and "Learn Hypnotic Seduction" is telling us that he tries to "stop those natural instincts"?

Pardon me while I wipe a few tears of laughter from my eyes.
 
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? You're not telling me that you are going to act according to all of your physical instincts and impulses? Eat whenever you want, sleep whenever you want, and have sex every single chance you get without a notion of loyalty??
 
Zero:

Umm, I'm a bit confuuuuused.....

Who are you talking to and in response to what? :confused:
 
Zero:

Ever heard of 'self control'? Something that is extremely lacking in swingers.
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Yes...er......what's your point? If you'll look to the first page, you'll find that I do not think that swinging is an acceptable lifestyle for me.

I won't explain why.

? You're not telling me that you are going to act according to all of your physical instincts and impulses? Eat whenever you want, sleep whenever you want, and have sex every single chance you get without a notion of loyalty??
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Ah, no, where did I say that? Romanticism?

I don't think that either a "noble savage" or ubermensch would behave that way.

NOT THAT I COMPARE NIETZSCHE AND ROUSSAU!!!!

I'm, er, not sure how you're getting that out of my posts....
 
You once bugged me about my being a puritanical atheist. Gaah!!! I got it out of that and figured you were claiming that. Never mind if you were not.

But this message applies to people who think swinging is good.
 
Zero:

You once bugged me about my being a puritanical atheist. Gaah!!! I got it out of that and figured you were claiming that. Never mind if you were not.
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Oh no. I actually don't think that premarital sex is a good thing.

But swinging is good for some people. Since you cannot show, objectively, that it is not, you cannot logically say anything but "It's not for me".
 
Originally posted by Xev
I actually don't think that premarital sex is a good thing.
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I have never heard an atheist say something like that. Nowadays everyone lives together for awhile before they are married. Why do you think that Xev?
 
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