Why should if they see a woman who takes their fancy?
But what gives him the right to intrude on her in that way? What gives him the right to accost her and tell her how he feels when she's just going about her day? Why doesn't she have the right to not be harassed or accosted in such a way?
Honestly? I do. Yes, men will speak their minds. Again, being told you are beautiful is not a terrible thing.
From people I know? Sure. From complete strangers I have never seen or spoken to, when walking alone or on public transport? That is a completely different kettle of fish. I don't care if men will speak their minds. They have no right to accost strangers to speak said mind. For one thing, the first thing that comes to mind is 'who is this guy?'.. then 'how long has this weirdo been looking at me and has he been following me?'.. And so on and so forth, pretty much every question a woman would ask herself in a fight or flight situation because a) she doesn't know this guy and b) she doesn't know if he could be some violent psycho or not.
Because he was taken by her beauty, of course.
And he can't shut up about it? He can't keep his thoughts to himself? He needs to share and intrude on another person, uninvited, to share?
As I said, if you walk past a house you think looks nice, would you walk into it uninvited just to speak your mind about said house? No, you wouldn't. You value someone's property more than you value a woman you don't even know.
I agree with you here. Most men wouldn't approach a women who is with a man. True. You are absolutely correct.
And yet you think it is perfectly acceptable to approach the same woman if she is alone? What? The guy who is so "taken by her beauty" who must "speak his mind" because she "took his fancy" won't say anything if she has a man with her? So he can shut up then, but not if she's alone?
Giving someone a compliment is wrong?
Someone you know? No problem with that. Complete strangers who are going about their day? You can't imagine why it might be inappropriate to approach a woman and comment on her looks? Why doesn't he give her the same compliment when she has a man with her? After all, it's not wrong, is it? You can't see how doing this to women who are alone is harassment?
Do you ask for permission before giving someone a compliment? I mean, is that how screwed up we've become?
I give compliments to people I know. I don't walk up to strangers on the street to comment on their looks or compliment them on their looks. To wit, I'm not a weirdo that way.
Again, I'm trying to understand how a compliment brings a person down. I can understand how vulgar comments are disturbing, but being told you are beautiful should be a high point in your day.
Because you are objectifying her. Because you are intruding on her to give her your opinion uninvited. Because she doesn't know you and you just look at her, walk up to her or scream it out in the street. Because she doesn't know you. Because she has the right to walk down the street without having you foisting your opinion of how she looks, on her. Because it is rude. Because it is intrusive. Because it is threatening to her. Because it is inappropriate. Because you look like a creep when you do it. Because she is not an object put there for you to admire.
I don't see a compliment equaling harassment.
When it is uninvited, to a complete stranger, inappropriate, intrusive, turns her into an object instead of a human being, it is harassment.
If I were young and single, if I saw a woman who knocked my socks off, yeah, I would let her know.
Because you think you have more rights over her than her right to not be harassed by you?
Guys are usually the ones who do the chasing. It's unfortunate that many women are in a constant state of fear, which I attribute to past negative experiences. I do understand, you fear men.
Okay, do you understand that she does not know you. All she knows is that she was walking down the street, minding her own business when this guy comes out of nowhere and either calls out something about her looks, or walks up to her and comments on her looks. You seriously cannot comprehend how that would be creepy and unsettling and unnerving to her? She doesn't know that when she ignores the guy or tells him no, that he isn't going to go apeshit and either abuse her or assault her.
If I fear men, it is solely because of men like you and what you keep advocating for and demanding is your right over my and other women's right to not be harassed, Bowser.
Telling someone they are beautiful is not disrespect, it's a compliment. If a man can get past a woman's general paranoia, he might stand a chance of getting to know her. Certainly catcalling will never break the ice. I agree on that premise.
A woman you know? Sure. A complete stranger and you decide to accost her and foist your opinion of her looks or body? It is exceptionally disrespectful.
And a woman's paranoia? Why do you think such paranoia exists, Bowser? Why do you think a woman walking alone and having some guy sidle up to her to comment on her looks, might be paranoid?
I think what you're asking for is respect for a woman's fear of men. I'm sorry for that. Again, if you never try, you will never know. Not all women think alike, Bells.
No, what I am asking for is to not be harassed. It's really that simple.
And you keep commenting about my fear of men or women's fear of men.
The man who walks up to me on the street or elsewhere, a man I do not know and have never seen before... You can't figure out why women are fearful of such men? I'll give you some examples of why women instantly bristle and feel fearful because they have no clue as to
what is about to happen when a complete stranger accosts her to give his opinion on her looks..
- In San Francisco last year, a man stabbed a woman in the face and arm after she didn’t respond positively to his sexually harassing her on the street.
- In Bradenton, Fla., a man shot a high school senior to death after she and her friends refused to perform oral sex at his request. I
- In Chicago, a scared 15-year-old was hit by a car and died after she tried escaping from harassers on a bus.
- Again, in Chicago, a man grabbed a 19-year-old walking on a public thoroughfare, pulled her onto a gangway and assaulted her.
- In Savannah, Georgia, a woman was walking alone at night and three men approached her. She ignored them, but they pushed her to the ground and sexually assaulted her
- In Manhattan, a 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed when men catcalling from a van drove onto the sidewalk and hit her and her friend.
- Last week, a runner in California — a woman — was stopped and asked, by a strange man in a car, if she wanted a ride. When she declined he ran her over twice.
See, the woman doesn't know how the man is going to react. She doesn't know if he is likely to harm her or not. She will assume since he has taken it upon himself to harass her, he poses a threat.
If she says no, she's lucky if he only calls her a bitch, because that means she got off easily. Because she has no idea who this person is and why he has accosted her.
Do you understand now how a guy walking up to a woman who's walking down the street to tell her how attractive to him can be construed as being a threat because she doesn't know who he is, what he is capable of and how he would respond if she ignores him or rebuffs his advances? Do you understand that foisting your opinion on perfect strangers regarding their looks is harassment?