Absurd things Christians say...

Some ridiculous shit I have heard from Christians:

'Don't you think it would be a help to you to believe?'
(My reply: Would it be a help to me to have schizophrenia?)

'Are you a Catholic?'

No

'Are you a Protestant?'

No

'Ok, you're a Methodist.'

What's a Methodist? (my reply)

'People who believe in God'

I don't believe in God

'What? You're going to hell! You're gonna have black Xs all over your heart tissues and you'll die!'

Stupid horrid little kids...I hope they all developed leukemia...no, leukemia is too nice...I'll hope for some horrid inflammatory disease that drags on for ages and is eventually fatal.

They were the reason I ended up homeschooling as a youngster.
 
CutsieMarie89 said:
Not lumping all Christians together just some loopy ones I've met.
"Homosexuality is a disease that those who are afflicted with it must suffer through, just like I suffer with epilepsy. If I indulge in my disease and don't try to prevent it I'll die. Just as the homosexuals will die. They must learn to care for the disease that God has given them. So they can be like me and try to live normal and happy lives. They can't be happy if they aren't treating their illness, just like I'm not happy when I don't treat mine."
Oh and another one of my favorites. "Hanging around with gay men just makes Jesus think you're a whore." LOL
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AHAHHAHAHAAHAHHA!
This officially makes my day!

Yeah, I have to say, I agree. I'm not happy unless I'm treating my "illness." And boy did I treat it the other night with Darrick.
Jesus would have blushed.... And been jealous.
 
visceral_instinct said:
Some ridiculous shit I have heard from Christians:

'Don't you think it would be a help to you to believe?'
(My reply: Would it be a help to me to have schizophrenia?)

'Are you a Catholic?'

No

'Are you a Protestant?'

No

'Ok, you're a Methodist.'

What's a Methodist? (my reply)

'People who believe in God'

I don't believe in God

'What? You're going to hell! You're gonna have black Xs all over your heart tissues and you'll die!'

Stupid horrid little kids...I hope they all developed leukemia...no, leukemia is too nice...I'll hope for some horrid inflammatory disease that drags on for ages and is eventually fatal.

They were the reason I ended up homeschooling as a youngster.
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Wow. Hahahha. I love the propaganda effect!
 
MZ3Boy84 said:
lol I wasn't referring to anyone in particular so don't worry.

I'm alright here, hanging in there. Trying to keep busy with work. The financial situation is slightly improving but will be many many months before I'm back on my feet. As I've said before, you'd be amazed how expensive it gets when someone dies with little or no forewarning.

When I'm not working, I'm either reading or sleeping so I figured I'd try to spice it up a little and spend what time I can on here.

Emotionally things are OK, though if it weren't for my best friend being here I'd probably have lost my mind by now. Its good to have a shoulder to cry on when I need it.

But anywho, back on topic lol.
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It's been so long since I've spoken with you. You should get on aim once in a while.
I hate to hear that.
 
Lori_7 said:
yeah you're right, that is so absurd. because in reality, we all know very well that there is nothing inherently wrong with humanity...we all live in perfect harmony with the universe and each other, and there is no suffering, sickness, or death. we christians are just making that shit up. things like greed, gluttony, sloth, lust, pride, envy and wrath are really wonderful things with no negative consequences whatsoever. *pat pat on the head* now go back to sleep.
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Oh Lori, Lori... How did I know you'd show up on my thread? How?
I am more awake than yourself. Wake up and smell the evolution.

And I appreciate your honesty about your words.
 
A Christian once said to me:

Dinosaur bones have been planted by the Devil to trick and confuse good Christians into thinking that the world is older than 6000 years.

(did I mention she was hot?)
:)
M
 
Change it up a bit.....

One of my favorites: Jesus loves you.(Xians can read him like a book...must be his way of saying thank you for nailing me to the barn door)

I'm particularly fond of the bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love Jesus'. (I guess this is how you let him know you love him back)

Saying grace at McDonalds.(I didn't even need to hear what was said, only observed in jaw dropping awe)
 
takethewarhome said:
I say it again, THIS IS NOT A THREAD ABOUT OUR CONVICTIONS, CONCLUSIONS, BELIEFS, OR EVIDENCE. It's about the rediculous things we all end up saying in defense or offense on the subject of faith.
IT IS NOTHING MORE THAN THAT.
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"or offense on the subject of faith. "
That’s a Lie and you’re a Liar.

The thread is called Absurd things "Christians" say... It was not Absurd things people say in relation to the topic of faith.

You started this thread to express your "CONVICTIONS, CONCLUSIONS, BELIEFS" and your "EVIDENCE's" of the absurd things Christians say.

Quit making this into a crusade to try and "turn" us away from our wicked, sinful ways.... [Yawn].
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It is you who started this thread as an anti-Christian "crusade", hypocrite.


All Praise The Ancient of Days
 
Adstar said:
"or offense on the subject of faith. "
That’s a Lie and you’re a Liar.

The thread is called Absurd things "Christians" say... It was not Absurd things people say in relation to the topic of faith.

You started this thread to express your "CONVICTIONS, CONCLUSIONS, BELIEFS" and your "EVIDENCE's" of the absurd things Christians say.



It is you who started this thread as an anti-Christian "crusade", hypocrite.


All Praise The Ancient of Days
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You misinterpret my use of the word, and if you haven't noticed, I've been assulted from people like yourself moreso than I've directly assulted others....

And I am a liar. I mean, I could say otherwise, but I'm just a little more honest with myself than that.
You're a liar too. So is everyone else who ever lived.

And your foundation begins to crumble....

And saying that I'm trying to start a "crusade" against Christians is silly. That they are all so misguided is enough for me to sit back and watch happily. Any atheist will tell you something along those lines.

I guess you missed the part of my OP that said I was going to make a thread on the absurd things atheists say, so don't get your feelings hurt..?

Yeah, so. Thouroughly de-bunked. Moving on.
 
blackfoundations said:
I'm not trying to convert you into a Christian.
I even sin, I am even "wicked". But I try not to be.
Fuck my thoughts. They don't matter to anyone, anyway.

I think you need to stop being such a hard-ass and gain a conscience...
This loop hole is temporary.

I don't try and see views of whatever religion "ridiculous". I hate to judge.
Unlike you.
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Aren`t Christians supposed to refrain from swearing?
 
Adstar said:
It is you who started this thread as an anti-Christian "crusade", hypocrite.
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That's not a bad idea. I mean, look what Christianity has turned you into, a raving lunatic. Wouldn't you want to get rid of that which ails you?
 
takethewarhome said:
"the very foundation of science is ignorance."

- Sciforums Christian
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If there were no ignorance, there would be no need for science. Do you plan to argue that? I'd love to hear it.

Also if there were no sin, there would be no need for science. One, communion with god would be restored...the creator of all things investigated. Two, there would be no suffering, sickness, or death. Third, there would be no sloth, gluttony, greed, and wrath, which science serves so well. And fourth, we had everything we needed to survive. What do you need to live? Food, shelter, companionship? How much science does it take to achieve that? Zero. God provides.

Science is ensuring our oblivion right now.
 
The most absurd thing I've ever heard a false christian say is "god hates fags".
 
Lori_7 said:
If there were no ignorance, there would be no need for science. Do you plan to argue that? I'd love to hear it.

Also if there were no sin, there would be no need for science. One, communion with god would be restored...the creator of all things investigated. Two, there would be no suffering, sickness, or death. Third, there would be no sloth, gluttony, greed, and wrath, which science serves so well. And fourth, we had everything we needed to survive. What do you need to live? Food, shelter, companionship? How much science does it take to achieve that? Zero. God provides.

Science is ensuring our oblivion right now.
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I agree, if we weren't ignorant that we wouldn't need science.
But the rest of that Jesus-filth... Whatever.

Arguing with you is like prayer... Absolutely pointless and useless.

But you make for wonderful examples for my thread!
 
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