Absurd things Christians say...

[jessiej920]

"God bless you. . ."

When people sneeze, like it somehow effects the aftermath.

~String

I think that's more out of habit then believing in God. I say it to be polite, but usually I just say 'bless you'.

Anyways...ridiculous things Christians say:

"You are going to hell". Oh I am? Really? Thanks for the update. I hope there's beer.

"Jesus saves". Need I say more?

"God doesn't give you anything you can't handle". AKA You suck at life, deal with it.

"You're a Satanist". Yes. Yes I am. And you are an idiot.

"I'll pray for your soul". Why? Do you have a direct line to God? Is it like a 1-800 number or something? Toll-free?

"Everyone has the chance to know God". AKA If you don't believe in God you are going to hell. That means 60% of the world is on the same bus. It's going to be one hell of a party

"The Devil made me do it". Riiiight. I believe you, I really do. The devil made me write this post!!

 

[The Esotericist]

. . . so much toxic negativity in this thread. . . lighten up.

"You are going to hell"

"Jesus saves"

"The Devil made me do it"

 

[S.A.M.]

And all of you that think I am being unjust, I'll start a thread about the rediculous things atheists say [I am an atheist]. So don't get you're feelings hurt.

So where is the thread you promised us?

 

[deicider]

u can mock the god as much as u want but that wont help you.
Theist say absurd things only cause they lack of knowledge,a true christian is always correct.
Science is true but god made science,thus science can't disprove god, and the funny things is that all atheists base their beliefs in science...silly ppl.

 

[(Q)]

u can mock the god as much as u want but that wont help you.

You're right, he's not there to listen, hence it is the beliefs of theists that are mocked.

Theist say absurd things only cause they lack of knowledge,a true christian is always correct.

Not true. Theists are presented with knowledge which they immediately dismiss if it doesn't agree with their doctrines.

Science is true but god made science,thus science can't disprove god

Science could care less about the fantasies and delusions theists present about their gods. You claim god made science, but that's just a delusion on your part.

and the funny things is that all atheists base their beliefs in science...silly ppl.

No, they base their beliefs on life and nature, and maybe science.

Of course, what do theists base their beliefs on other than bronze age myths and superstitions. That is far more sillier.

 

[deicider]

When u'll go to hell u'll remeber me.
That u get for putting science over god.
God is absolute.God is in everything and god will show mercy for those who deserve it.
Anyway u still have time to change ur mind ,its never too late.
I'll be praying for u.

 

[(Q)]

When u'll go to hell u'll remeber me.

I won't have to remember you, you'll be standing right beside me. We'll both be roasting in Islamic hell while Allah fiddles with our nether regions.

That u get for putting science over god.

Your god is a most despicable character if he sends me to hell simply for using that which he provided me in the first place.

God is absolute.God is in everything and god will show mercy for those who deserve it.

I spit on your god. If he had a set of yarble's, I'd shine my Dayton's on them, repeatedly. Then, I'd swing round the other side and kick his bony ass to timbuktu.

And then, I might show him some mercy.

Anyway u still have time to change ur mind ,its never too late.

There's a thought, Nah. I'd rather spit in your god's eye.

I'll be praying for u.

Pray for spelling and grammar, instead.

 

[deicider]

I won't have to remember you, you'll be standing right beside me. We'll both be roasting in Islamic hell while Allah fiddles with our nether regions.

Allah is great,if you do righ u will be saved,may the quran guide your way.
You will get virgins if you get there ,think about it...unless you're a wortheless gay then you should either sacrifice urself or change ur mind quickly.

Your god is a most despicable character if he sends me to hell simply for using that which he provided me in the first place

No mohamed paid for your sins and you still doubt him...shame.

I spit on your god. If he had a set of yarble's, I'd shine my Dayton's on them, repeatedly. Then, I'd swing round the other side and kick his bony ass to timbuktu.

And then, I might show him some mercy

blasphemy,but i can't do anything cause ur not here,if u lived here at iran we would teach you some manners.Godless worm.

There's a thought, Nah. I'd rather spit in your god's eye.

Still makin fun of the One...the least u will experiance will be blindess when u will meet him.

Pray for spelling and grammar, instead.

In the afterlife the gramar will be ur last worry when u will be burnin in HELL forever.

 

[GeoffP]

Mohammed paid for sins? Where's this again?

 

[(Q)]

Allah is great,if you do righ u will be saved,may the quran guide your way.

I do right, it has nothing to do with Allah or his book of myths and superstitions.

You will get virgins if you get there ,think about it...

It's funny you say, 'think about it' but it's clear you have no idea how to think.

unless you're a wortheless gay then you should either sacrifice urself or change ur mind quickly.

I would rather be a "worthless gay" than be an insane theist any day. At least then, I decide when I get it up the ass.

No mohamed paid for your sins and you still doubt him...shame.

Muhammad was a liar, thief, despot and murderer.

blasphemy,but i can't do anything cause ur not here,if u lived here at iran we would teach you some manners.Godless worm.

The expectation of your violent religion is coming to fruition and I'm sure "teaching manners" means to slit my throat or knife me in the back. Insane theist.

Still makin fun of the One...the least u will experiance will be blindess when u will meet him.

Perhaps, but I'll still kick his fucking ass and spit in his eye.

In the afterlife the gramar will be ur last worry when u will be burnin in HELL forever.

Ah, the religion of peace shines it's light. Remember, you'll be right along side of me there.

No virgins for you!

 

[swarm]

Well worth a watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdCA5xAsw8I

 

[swarm]

Hilarious, watch them all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qzf8q9QHfhI

 

[takethewarhome]