or we just know that all men want to get laid and we just don't care. As long as he doesn't act on it, we can stay friends. Its that easy.
That would be believable coming from any woman but you, Orly.
But then again, the bold statement does sound like it would come from an arrogant, presumptuous bitch such as yourself.
I grew up with mostly male friends. I never had sex with any of them. When I started dating though, one got really jealous and started acting all weird.
Then one day he crossed the line and kissed me. After that things were never the same between us again. Shame really because we hung out and had a lot of fun together.
Sounds like your buddy didn't read the signs before he made his move.
I think it is funny though, how everybody here denies having one jealous bone in their body.
Not me. Although when I get that way, I don't act like your buddy. I he were me and I knew you weren't interested, I wouldnt' act mad or throw a hissy fit or anything like that. I'd probably just stop calling and go my own separate way. Likewise I refuse to settle for being friends with a woman who won't date me.
Partly because I deserve better, partly because if she doesn't want my companionship, she doesn't get my friendship. And partly because I see the statement, '...but we can be friends' as a slap in the face.
I have male friends who hit on me and I told my husband. He laughed it off. Why? Because he knows he can trust me to not act on it or take up their offer and he trusts me enough to know that I would tell said male friends that not only was I not interested, but that I was in a happy and fulfilling relationship and if they didn't respect that, then they didn't respect me as an individual and my choices in life
Bells, it's not those guys I'm worried about. It's the ones that continue to hit on her. Her: Sorry. I'm taken. Him: Your man doesn't have to know.
Stuff like that. And when it gets to that point, it's not her that would have the problem with. It's the other guy.
Hell, one friend did it right while my husband (was my boyfriend back then) was standing right next to me (he told me that I would be happier with him and that my husband was the wrong man for me, etc). I didn't even have to look at my husband to see if he was angry. He was angry because of the manner in which my friend did it.. it wasn't a funny come on, it was a direct insult to him and to me, as well as our relationship. But he didn't have to say or mention anything to me about it. I told said friend to forget it and to have some respect for me and to not be so insulting to myself and my partner.. Since he could not, we ceased to be friends. Not because my husband was upset. But because I could never be a friend to someone who disrespected me in such a fashion as to question my choice in who made me happy in such a way.
You just proved my point on that subject. I would find something like that just as disrespecful to me as you do.
In fact, had that been me standing there, I don't think I could have kept from laying into him verbally (and physically if he kept on). Kudos to your husband for excercising restraint in a situation that I would not have.
And I would have laid into him because he was disrespecting me, not so much because he was disrespecting you(or my s.o. rather); it's not that I wouldn't be mad because he was disrespecting you too, but I know that in those situations, you could handle yourself and wouldn't need a guy to come to your rescue.
For example, I wouldnt' be near as angry if a guy hit on my girl when I wasn't around, even if he knew I was dating her. But there is no way that I would sit there and let some guy(that knew she was my girl) hit on my girl with me standing right there.
Many people just don't understand unconditional love. No control. Let nature decide, not some irrational moral expectation.
If you love her, let her do what she wants. If you don't like it their are three options: try to control her, leave her or accept it.
If you try to control her, you are making someone do something against their will. Don't you actually want someone who really wants you?
If you leave her, maybe you'll find that dream woman out there probably not. Good luck on controlling the next woman!
If you accept it, at least you got some love.
Some is better than none. And, why not expand your horizons too and both put jealously aside?
Regime,
I agree with every part of your statement, especially the three options. It doesn't get any simpler than that.
However, the bold statement I don't fully agree with, but only out of personal preference.
With nothing else added, 'some love is better than none' is true. However, allow me to counter with, 'there are worse things than being alone'
The older I get, the more set in my ways I become. I also can be pretty stubborn sometimes. I'll admit there are quite a few things about me and my mentality that any woman I date is going to have to work around. If she can't, then we can't date.
I also know what I deserve and am rarely inclined to settle. Does that increase my chances of dying a lonely old man? You bet your ass it does. But I'd much rather be alone than be with someone I had to settle for.
Here's my preference:
1. being in a relationship with a compatible woman
2. being alone and possibly dying lonely
3. being in a relationship with a woman I had to settle for