If she were seeing her friend more than me, then yeah, I'd be getting a little concerned.
Would you let your wife have guy friends?
- Thread starter pineapplepizza
- Start date
If she were seeing her friend more than me, then yeah, I'd be getting a little concerned.
Don't have a wife, but I've had a few clingy and insane girlfriends in the past. Can't be too different.
Anyway; preferably, no. But I'm the jealous and paranoid type.
Even so, what the fuck could I do to stop it? Nothing.
My wife is treated as an equal. I ask no more of her than she does of me. It's been my experienwe that one of the worst things you can do in life is choose someone else's friends for them.(same with kids) As it turns out, my wife's best friends are other women. So I can't give an honest opinion on the opposite sex becoming her confidant. Perhaps its because we always hammer things out by confiding in each other. Your wife/husband having male/female friends respectively could be a sign your marriage/relationship is teetering.
You can't really reach valid conclusions with an n of 1. :shrug:
My boyfriend use to get jealous because of the time I spent with my best friend. But I told him to get over himself, my best friend was part of my life first if he had a problem with it he could have always just left.
It all depends on the circumstances. My best friend is a guy, and the majority of my friends are male. Most of my friends are married or in a committed relationship and we rarely hang out one-on-one or plan to do things solo. The one exception is my best friend, but he's married with two children around the same age as my two so we'll go hang out together with the kids (sans spouses) doing things we enjoy, like taking nature hikes and going to "kids" places. We also hang out one-on-one from time to time, because I've been friends with him for 20 years. There was a time where he and his wife were having problems, and I did not hang out with him during that time because I felt it would be inappropriate.
I don't know, it just depends on the situation. I am a horrible tomboy who has a very hard time relating to most women, so if all my friends are guys (save for one) and I can't have male friends, well that leaves me in quite a pickle. Most of our friends are also mutual friends, and we all go out in groups as well. I go hang at the bar after work with a group of guys, and we go paintballing and snowmobiling as well. I dunno, it just depends.
If your spouse seems to be anxious or excited about spending one on one time with a male friend, and her mood changes a lot before and after she gets home, or if she talks about them obsessively, I would begin to question it.
I don't know, it just depends on the situation. I am a horrible tomboy who has a very hard time relating to most women, so if all my friends are guys (save for one) and I can't have male friends, well that leaves me in quite a pickle. Most of our friends are also mutual friends, and we all go out in groups as well. I go hang at the bar after work with a group of guys, and we go paintballing and snowmobiling as well. I dunno, it just depends.
If your spouse seems to be anxious or excited about spending one on one time with a male friend, and her mood changes a lot before and after she gets home, or if she talks about them obsessively, I would begin to question it.
agreed.
I've heard women say "but she's hot!", which means they think they are ugly and are insecure about their husband having a female friend
I've never heard a guy say "but he's hot!" What do insecure guys say?
A goodly proportion of my friends are male.
No way would I start ignoring them because my boyfriend or husband would get jealous, that's just a lousy way to behave to said friends.
No way would I start ignoring them because my boyfriend or husband would get jealous, that's just a lousy way to behave to said friends.
I don't understand what a paralyzed woman has to do it a husband having female friends. :shrug:Wouldn't that symbolise a failure on your own behalf, though? If your significant other spends more time in the company of (or fucking) someone else other than you, then that points to a deficiency on your behalf. Why would they want to spend more time with somebody else? Why would they want to fuck somebody else?
Yep, if my husband wants to be with someone else, I don't see how I can stop him.
He won't be my husband much longer, but I'd rather have that than be a jealous insecure shrew trying to control him.
*************
M*W: I've always had close male friends from work or the neighborhood. If it applied to me, I would make sure that there was no secretive behavior going on. I wouldn't have a problem if it was the other way around.
M*W: I've always had close male friends from work or the neighborhood. If it applied to me, I would make sure that there was no secretive behavior going on. I wouldn't have a problem if it was the other way around.
Bells
Staff member
If I were married to someone who was so insecure that he timed and compared how long I spent with my friends and with him, lets just say it would end up being a very, very, unhappy marriage and would probably end up spending more time with the friends than with him..
I think the failure stems more from your own insecurity that you need to feel concerned about how long they spend with their friends compared with you.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and what expierence have you had with women?
i ahve more guy friends than i do female friends and its always been the same, i just fine guys easier to get along with
I wish I had more guy friends. I am quite friendly and touchy. Guys read that wrong, so I have to be careful.
pineapplepizza
Registered Senior Member
It was obviously a joke...
Maybe I'm stuck off in Timbuktu. Maybe she's bi. She's an adult and I trust her to make good decisions. We have agreed that if it ever comes up we will keep each other informed.
As for "deficiency" that's not an issue at the moment. If it ever becomes an issue, we'll work out what is best for the both of us.
Our relationship is not about the sex. Its about caring for each other.
While I don't disagree, it wouldn't be her I would be worried about, it would be the guys she hangs out with that would cause me to be wary.
She could be 100% trustrworthy and not cheat, but some jackass would still try to be friends with her in order to get on her good side in hopes of nailing her.
If you watch closely enough you can usually spot guys like that.
You couldn't stop it, but you could remedy your own feelings about the situation by finding a woman who doesn't have many (or any) guy friends.
Some guys do misinterpret stuff like that.
I personally do not like being around touch/flirty women that are already taken. Do not flirt with me if you aren't ready to follow through.
Aww. How sweet. Funny thing is, you could dump her, go get a plutonic male roommate/partner, and still be able to make that same statement.
..........
It would also depend on whether or not she had male friends before we dated.
If she was like Liebling who has had guy friends all her life, it wouldn't be a big deal. But if she was the type to not hang around guys, or many people at all, then suddenly wanted to start having a bunch of guy friends, then that's when red flags would start going up.
I would never tell a woman she couldn't do this or couldn't do that if I disliked something she was doing. However, I would tell her how I feel about something, 'honey, I'm not really comfortable with you hanging out with so and so'.
If she continued with it regardless and I still felt strongly about it, then I'd leave.