Exactly. People fall in lust with each other and get married a year later, and they wonder why it doesn't work out. Friendship and trust is much more important to a marriage than sex.
Why lie?
- Thread starter *stRgrL*
- Start date
Exactly. People fall in lust with each other and get married a year later, and they wonder why it doesn't work out. Friendship and trust is much more important to a marriage than sex.
orthogonal
Registered Senior Member
stRgrL,
I imagine you want a short answer instead of the volumes that have been written on the subject. Well, the short answer is to try and understand what motivates people. But that only brings us back to the very same volumes. In fact, there is no short answer. People are complex enough creatures as to defy simple summations, such as your, "Men are pigs."
stRgrL, as much as you might hear other women complain that men are pigs, I hear men complain about their wives. My friends, my coworkers, guys down at the gym,... It appears that every third man in this world is trapped by a woman in a miserable relationship.
It's my experience that a source of confusion between the sexes is that while we often read from the same page, at other times we read from entirely different chapters. Our ideas about love appear to be similar, yet men and women biologically relate to each other for fundamentally different reasons. A fascinating book on this topic is Zoologist Matt Ridley's, The Red Queen. Even here, I caution that while we do have primative instincts, we are not limited to primative behavior. And though we have this ability to override our primative instincts, it's clear that some people don't bother trying. It's a question of individual character.
Finally StRgrL, if you demand that the man in your life doesn't lie to you, you need to fine tune your built-in truth detector. Access not only how a man treats you, but take into account how the man treats the world. You are not merely looking for a man who won't lie to you! You want far more than just that. Find a man of integrity and honor and you will have found a man who will fufill your minimal requirements for truthfullness as well.
Joeman,
Excellent insight, though I do have one point of contention. I think that we should indeed marry our friends. Too often, a man at least, will marry a woman because she has a cute nose, etc.. The best advice I've ever heard an old man give to a young man is, "Choose a wife with your ear, rather than your eye." It's wonderful advice, yet I seriously doubt a single young man has ever heeded it.
Beauty drives a man close to a woman, yet beauty alone is worthless at keeping a man close to a woman. A man is initially attracted to a woman's beauty, but it is a woman's pure heart that keeps a good man by her side till his dying day.
Just my observations,
Michael
I imagine you want a short answer instead of the volumes that have been written on the subject. Well, the short answer is to try and understand what motivates people. But that only brings us back to the very same volumes. In fact, there is no short answer. People are complex enough creatures as to defy simple summations, such as your, "Men are pigs."
stRgrL, as much as you might hear other women complain that men are pigs, I hear men complain about their wives. My friends, my coworkers, guys down at the gym,... It appears that every third man in this world is trapped by a woman in a miserable relationship.
It's my experience that a source of confusion between the sexes is that while we often read from the same page, at other times we read from entirely different chapters. Our ideas about love appear to be similar, yet men and women biologically relate to each other for fundamentally different reasons. A fascinating book on this topic is Zoologist Matt Ridley's, The Red Queen. Even here, I caution that while we do have primative instincts, we are not limited to primative behavior. And though we have this ability to override our primative instincts, it's clear that some people don't bother trying. It's a question of individual character.
Finally StRgrL, if you demand that the man in your life doesn't lie to you, you need to fine tune your built-in truth detector. Access not only how a man treats you, but take into account how the man treats the world. You are not merely looking for a man who won't lie to you! You want far more than just that. Find a man of integrity and honor and you will have found a man who will fufill your minimal requirements for truthfullness as well.
Joeman,
Excellent insight, though I do have one point of contention. I think that we should indeed marry our friends. Too often, a man at least, will marry a woman because she has a cute nose, etc.. The best advice I've ever heard an old man give to a young man is, "Choose a wife with your ear, rather than your eye." It's wonderful advice, yet I seriously doubt a single young man has ever heeded it.
Beauty drives a man close to a woman, yet beauty alone is worthless at keeping a man close to a woman. A man is initially attracted to a woman's beauty, but it is a woman's pure heart that keeps a good man by her side till his dying day.
Just my observations,
Michael
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Um, YOU started it, in my Black Bear thread...think real hard...remember now? I didn't even know who the hell you were and you came in and started shrieking about how I was a total moron, that any intelligent person knows "black bears don't stalk". That's not starting shit where you come from?
stRgrl can go find some real-lif people to talk to if she's so upset. I'm not responsible for her mental well-being.
Orthogonal:
"stRgrL, as much as you might hear other women complain that men are pigs, I hear men complain about their wives. My friends, my coworkers, guys down at the gym,... It appears that every third man in this world is trapped by a woman in a miserable relationship. "
Yeah, that's true. Of course, no-one is really 'trapped' - it's a matter of choices.
"It's my experience that a source of confusion between the sexes is that while we often read from the same page, at other times we read from entirely different chapters. Our ideas about love appear to be similar, yet men and women biologically relate to each other for fundamentally different reasons. A fascinating book on this topic is Zoologist Matt Ridley's, The Red Queen. Even here, I caution that while we do have primative instincts, we are not limited to primative behavior. And though we have this ability to override our primative instincts, it's clear that some people don't bother trying. It's a question of individual character."
Very true. People of all genders are assholes.
"Finally StRgrL, if you demand that the man in your life doesn't lie to you, you need to fine tune your built-in truth detector. Access not only how a man treats you, but take into account how the man treats the world. You are not merely looking for a man who won't lie to you! You want far more than just that. Find a man of inegrity and honor and you will have found a man who will fufill your minimal requirements for truthfullness as well."
All people lie. It's a matter of what they lie about, I think. This guy lied about the way he felt. That's low.
Again, our condolences, *stRgrL*.
"stRgrL, as much as you might hear other women complain that men are pigs, I hear men complain about their wives. My friends, my coworkers, guys down at the gym,... It appears that every third man in this world is trapped by a woman in a miserable relationship. "
Yeah, that's true. Of course, no-one is really 'trapped' - it's a matter of choices.
"It's my experience that a source of confusion between the sexes is that while we often read from the same page, at other times we read from entirely different chapters. Our ideas about love appear to be similar, yet men and women biologically relate to each other for fundamentally different reasons. A fascinating book on this topic is Zoologist Matt Ridley's, The Red Queen. Even here, I caution that while we do have primative instincts, we are not limited to primative behavior. And though we have this ability to override our primative instincts, it's clear that some people don't bother trying. It's a question of individual character."
Very true. People of all genders are assholes.
"Finally StRgrL, if you demand that the man in your life doesn't lie to you, you need to fine tune your built-in truth detector. Access not only how a man treats you, but take into account how the man treats the world. You are not merely looking for a man who won't lie to you! You want far more than just that. Find a man of inegrity and honor and you will have found a man who will fufill your minimal requirements for truthfullness as well."
All people lie. It's a matter of what they lie about, I think. This guy lied about the way he felt. That's low.
Again, our condolences, *stRgrL*.
I seriously doubt she'll care that I don't consider myself responsible for her mental well-being. I've never even spoken to her before.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Joe
Dude I wasn't flaming. I know TONS of guys complain to me they can't find a girl. But they don't ask anybody out.
Ask yourself this question. If you were her, would you go out with this guy? Maybe you set unrealistic standard? If the answer is no, keep trying. You learn from it. You never learn if you never try.
Originally posted by Lesion42
Hey, what's with the attitude here. No need to be a flamer.and no, you're wrong, Joeman. I have.
Dude I wasn't flaming. I know TONS of guys complain to me they can't find a girl. But they don't ask anybody out.
Ask yourself this question. If you were her, would you go out with this guy? Maybe you set unrealistic standard? If the answer is no, keep trying. You learn from it. You never learn if you never try.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joe
I think he thinks 'flamer' means 'someone who doesn't agree with me wholeheartedly and sympathize with me'.
I think he thinks 'flamer' means 'someone who doesn't agree with me wholeheartedly and sympathize with me'.
In my experience most men Predominantly the straight variety learn sexual behaviour on an ad hoc basis and this through much cajoling and loose promises
Millie jacksons For Men Only album...
You mean I bought you two big macs an you ain't gonna put out?
You have all agreed in previous threads that men never grow up.
Put it all together and the math speaks for itself. Many men mature and change their approach. others find it far simpler to devote their lives to the chase. It's a way of life a notch on the bedpost call it what you like but I think that this breed of male outways the maturer type.
Star
I don't know what age range you usually go for but once your wounds are licked maybe try somone a little older maybe even a lot older viagra can glos over a lot of things
And the rest of you stop bickering, you're just proving that maturity is something you don't easily recognise
Sorry that was my miss Jean Brody Head
I crack a bottle of scotch and salute you all
Millie jacksons For Men Only album...
You mean I bought you two big macs an you ain't gonna put out?
You have all agreed in previous threads that men never grow up.
Put it all together and the math speaks for itself. Many men mature and change their approach. others find it far simpler to devote their lives to the chase. It's a way of life a notch on the bedpost call it what you like but I think that this breed of male outways the maturer type.
Star
I don't know what age range you usually go for but once your wounds are licked maybe try somone a little older maybe even a lot older viagra can glos over a lot of things
And the rest of you stop bickering, you're just proving that maturity is something you don't easily recognise
Sorry that was my miss Jean Brody Head
I crack a bottle of scotch and salute you all
Ow, my eyes. Aren't you special with all your colours.
Did that sentence make sense to anyone?
Mallory, dont respond to anymore of my posts. Aight???? If we were in person, I would kick your ass for saying that. You need to grow up and get a life, Ive been posting here for a year now and I consider some of these people my friends - I talk to some of them on IM all the time, THATS why Im asking their opinion. And no your not responsible for my well-being, but you can be considerate. Im fucking hurt right now and your acting like a little kid talking shit.
Xev,
Thanks for everything. Im still reading and I will respond to everyones post, thanks for everyones kind words.
*stRgrL*
I think you are lovely,in the old days girls did not get there nickers off,until the man took on a responsibility to them,I think that's how it really works.
Now they get them off,& the bloke thinks,maybe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
Don't be upset by a shit house,just think,its a good thing you found out as soon as you did.
There are some good ones around,& I hope you find one!
Love
Odin
I think you are lovely,in the old days girls did not get there nickers off,until the man took on a responsibility to them,I think that's how it really works.
Now they get them off,& the bloke thinks,maybe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
Don't be upset by a shit house,just think,its a good thing you found out as soon as you did.
There are some good ones around,& I hope you find one!
Love
Odin