You know, I love a long post. You can never really "get into the mood" with these 3 liners that hardly merit a response or time to think of a response. Before I start however, I would like to inform you that it's my birthday tomorrow, so I'm throwing the vodka down like tomorrow is the second coming - (although I'll probably just sleep when the second coming does actually arrive). While I will most certainly try to keep the post typo and rudeness free, I'm playing it by ear so cannot guarantee anything. Anyway, let's get started.
There's not really a lot I can say here that would be of any true value. However, I always did wonder why god would have a problem with 'fags' considering the fact that he'd actually made them that way. I'm sure some of the more uneducated posters here would claim it's a personal choice, but from an educated point of view, homosexuality is not a decision one makes, it's the way they are. Of course got does share his contempt for queers in the OT, as well as many other things - but we both know nobody gives a shit about the OT anymore.
I only said that because, at the end of your post, you spoke for me...rather, assumed my answer to your question already...like you already had it all figured out.
I try not to do that, and in this instance I don't really think I did all that much. However, (yes, "however" is my favourite word
), it is a part of my nature. I can be like that with everything from reading a book where my brain is already working out the end, to a game of chess where I'm always 10 moves ahead. The thing is, when you spend enough time, talking to enough people, you can generally work out what they're going to say and when they're going to say it. We're not all that "unique" when it comes down to it.
However, (there it is again), if it comes across as being rude, I'll most certainly try and avoid it.
So my response is this...if you already know the answer, then why ask the question?
Knowing what someone is going to say doesn't mean it's not worth hearing what they have to say.
Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you
It didn't offend me, but merely reminded me of a girl I used to be really friendly with. She constantly called me Snakeypoo - and it just came as a bit of a surprise to hear someone else say it.
Bleh.
It's just that your name is so ominous
I can assure you it has nothing to do with the snake from the G of E
I have always had snakes as pets, and one day one sneaked into my bag and took a trip to work with me, where it then proceeded to scare the shit out of everyone in the vicinity. From that moment forth I became known as Snakeman. Eventually I got into Ultima Online and modified it to SnakeLord to suit the game style.
.I would imagine that if I were to walk into a psychiatrists office and tell them that I hear god speak to me...he told me this and he told me that. You should hear some of the off the wall stuff he's told me as of late...having to do with this "miracle" that I've experienced...the doctor would have no alternative but to diagnose me as schizophrenic. My "symptoms" would fit the diagnosis.
This just so happens to be "my area", and personally I find it doubtful that I would scribe you off as schizo and put you in a big building full of pills. Of course this will differ from country to country, but there are many things we need to consider and evaluate.
Later on in your post you mention drinks, many sexual partners, drugs etc. god is only one step away from these, and personally I would prefer the issue resolved than constantly, how can we say... "sideswiped" by these temporary methods. yes, even god constitutes a temporary resolution. The real question is "why" you do these things. It would be wrong of me to go too indepth here, because this is a public forum. However, there are reasons your life has been one of "escape", and reasons that your doctor is either unable, or unwilling to work out. While I wont get into it right here, you can always pm me, email me or phone me.
Let's take a very brief trip - nothing open or too personal - but just a slight one to one about life.
Do me a favour and sit back, breathe, (the most stupid of things to say considering we're always breathing) and just try to stay completely thought free but alert. You and I both know we can already attribute the drinking, sex, drugs and voices to something specific - but I would like you to try and mentally acknowledge it and "see" it. It's painful yes, but important.
The funny thing is - although I asked, you seem to be completely devoid of any mental illness. Even you mentioned it when you spoke of your parents saying they would never consider you as mentally ill. From a professional standpoint, neither do I.
I really don't have much to work with as it currently stands, but I would certainly like to progress from here. What I can currently gather from your post is this..
The "unresolved issue/s" has led to drug abuse, alcohol abuse, pleasure sex with an "unfulfilling" result and binge eating. You also mentioned that it's been "20 years" of abuse, and given your age of 37, we can make an estimate that this "issue" happened during your mid teens, (17).
Feel free to pm me, but you most certainly come across as "normal" and not someone who would willingly adopt a religious attitude - and indeed come across as someone who doesn't
want to adopt a religious attitude but is merely looking for another escape route.
Ok.. you might not be normal. You might be a loopy fruitcake psycho killer - but I'm working with very little information here, and the best I can do is analyze what you type. Now I know this isn't the forum for it, But I would like to ask you one question.
First... clear your head. Make it empty.
You're walking along a path. What's around you?
Please, answer the question with as much detail as possible and without giving it thought.
If you're curious as to what I'm upto, it's the same as those "personality profiles", but without so much box ticking
Again feel free to pm me with the answer, although not everyone would really understand it anyway.
For a bit of personal information... Ever since I was born, I had an ability to pick up on words and phrases. When I was eight years old I won a writing competition for over 16's, and although that has slipped incredibly in the past six years due to the death of my son, it has always been an integral part of who I am. So many people miss the 'subtle' parts that they can't see the real issue. The biggest "victim" of this is ourselves. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to give advice, and how hard it is to listen to our own advice? Aside from that, I have always understood people. From body language that says more than talk, to resolving deep and often unknown issues that lie within our subconcious. I will not profess that I can play piano, or that I can paint masterpieces, or indeed that I can even paint the walls of my house. When it comes to understanding people however, I was born for it. It is also the main reason I supply an answer before I ask the question - and although that's something I try to avoid, it is a part of my persona.
You might be wondering why I am telling you all of this. There are two reasons really. The first is the vodka, the second is because I feel it paramount for our future discussions.
As a sidenote, I told you that schizophrenic people never say "i'm schizophrenic". Work it out from there.
Isn't that something like what the bible calls it? I'm not a very accomplished bible thumper, forgive me...but I know, because it's been shown to me without a doubt through this other person, that people who do have schizophrenia ARE hearing voices in their head...the voices of spirits
It's usually something that people are "afraid" to admit to, but can I ask if you ever talk to yourself? Before you answer, I'd like to say that I do.. and when I do, (which is usually to "back myself up" on a diagnosis), it does usually seem "audible". Do me a favour right now.. Sit back, clear your mind, and talk to yourself. Doesn't that seem audible to you? Are you aware, that all that audible feeling is, is a bunch of electrical impulses, That you're not actually hearing anything? And even when you are hearing something, it still amounts to little more than electrical impulses?
If you can see it in this way, even the voice of jesus amounts to nothing other than electrical impulse. Ok, the 'voice' might make you physically jump - but do not forget physically jumping is also nothing more than an electrical impulse. The system is far from perfect, which you'll know if you've ever had a spasm or suffer from a twitch.
If we look at it from this perspective, we now need to ask why you are receiving these impulses. Is it something mystical from space or is it perhaps something that is answered without the aid of gods?
You'll only answer that question when you're ready to.
You say that just because the reception is from within...and not accomplished through the flesh, being your ears...that the message originates from within as well
To this I can merely say: Of course it originates from within. What most people do not understand is that we're just a brain on legs. Of course, even if we are it, we do not understand the compexities of our brain. It will hide from us that which it feels needs hiding and it will show us that which it wants to show. I know this sentence implies that there are two distinct parts of "us", but there are not.
I'm sure you've heard of the "life in slow motion" effect that happens shortly before out would-be demise. Have you ever asked why?
You walk in front of a bus. In that split nanosecond before you become a pancake. the brain has already figured it out. Call it 'working behind the scenes'. The question now is: what would rather end your life with? Images of your loved ones, or images of your bloody corpse being thrown across the street?
The brain truly is remarkable. It can analyze everything within a a nanosecond, and before your conscious understands it, the subconscious gives the answer.
It does not require space entities, saviours or anything else mystical by definition. Of coruse however, the brain is fallible. When a loved one dies, the brain cannot answer the "why's". This leads you to devise the simplest and most convenient answer of all: Divine planning. It is merely a scapegoat for the what lies underneath - and in this instance it is the "underneath" that is the issue.
Before you worry or concern yourself too much about answering me, let it just be said that I have 'spoken' to people with all kinds of problems, and all kinds of "happenings" from being abducted and sexually 'assaulted" by aliens to people who have spent a life with a fear of heights because that's where goblins live. The list is extensive and extreme. From what I can gather from your posts, your "issue" doesn't even come close. To you, yes it does, but as a general, I've heard it all before.
Your spirit resides in your body...it is internal. So it stands to reason that a spiritual communication would be received internally, through the spirit.
Yoy're making excuses and you know it. Ignore the word "spirit". It means nothing. Instead, understand that "within" means "within". Understand that it means you're communicating with yourself, but you're just not listening. Every single day jesus tells you something amazing and new, but it's nothing that is going to fix the problem - it is something that will help you
avoid the problem, not get past it.
I am here to help you get past the problem. If you want to avoid it, stick to jesus. If you want to get rid of it altogether, then pm me. I have no magical powers and I can't res from the dead, (I assume), but there is power beyond the amazing. There is help that does not require sacrifice.
As a further question, and no - I don't care if I'm boring you.. What's your favourite song/band?
You might not see or understand the relevance of the question, but I would love to know all the same. You have my word that I will explain it afterwards.
And I'm sure it is because when this communication happens, the person is immediately labeled schizophrenic and put on drugs and locked up in some hospital where they can be ignored for the rest of their live
This is somewhat of a "crucifiction" for understanding the human mind. While I'm sure it varies country to country - the majority do not try and instituionalize anyone. Of course thats not to say it doesn't happen. I used to talk to a guy who was convinced he was a direct cousin of the queen of england. The guy was a 6 foot 4 african. The difficulty in explaining black and white, and royal relations to this guy was difficult to say the least - and of course pointless considering his belief would never change even if you told him he was just a hedgehog. I saw a recent, ( within the past 4 years), documentary that actually highlighted this individual - who is now a compete mental turnip.
I must confess I do disagree with many often "politcally" motivated decisions. I have found that even those who profess to know, do not know - but instead work by a college educated decision, or indeed a lack of true care or understanding of the people they work with.
Life is like that. I can't name you one thing that is even close to perfect - and being the nature of humans, we would rather sneer at others than truly help them, but in reality, it takes little more than to look "within" oneself. You've spoken about "within" several times in your post. What you now need to do is figure out what that "within" really means. I can and will help you do that. Believe it or not, but you already know the answer, it's all about acknowledging it.
When I told my parents about this miracle that happened to me...the details of it...alien abduction, the mark of the beast, nephilim, immortality of the flesh, the antichrist, the false prophet, rock stars, john the apostle reincarnated, astral projection, lucid dreaming, the angel and the little scroll, the woman and the dragon, the morning star, and all of this revelations propecy revealed...they took me to the doctor, and spent $2000 on a head MRI for me.
I have dealt with alien abduction many times, and it usually = one specific issue. Marks of beasts has its own particular meaning as do the others - yes, even rock stars. I know it would come across as Freudian, but I would like to know some more about your parents. Now, this is only given that you don't just come right out and say it to me, (in a pm), and do
not be mistaken in assuming I think you're some kind of nutball, because that is far from the case. Sometimes we just need to talk, but can't find anyone to listen. I give you that opportunity right now.
I can barely get my own head around it
I know, it seems like something not worth quoting. It's almost like me saying I'm listening to the Bee Gees "Stayin' Alive" right now - i.e worthless.
There's more to it than you would see...
It's not the first time you have tried to "excuse" your beliefs, or make mention of your lack of understanding towards it. You're most certainly not what one would consider "religious". It comes across that jesus isn't even jesus, but a foreign 'invader'. Something that you have not asked for, and something that you do not seek - but there nonetheless. I would at this point question, (but already know the answer), whether jesus is what you sought. For all that it matters, it could have been Ernest Hemingway that contacted you. You're the ultimate candidate for Ouija, (pron. weejee). You're not looking for god, you're not looking for jesus.. you're looking for someone to talk to. The thing is, jesus or mickey mouse - you're only talking to yourself. It will take years before you even ask what it is that you actually want to ask. Fuck, most go to their deathbeds with it. Do not be upset or ashamed, we're all like that. Being the kind of guy to see things in advance, I already know my last words will be about my son - and my dismay about his death. That is something that I can't openly cope with - it is my "cross to carry". We all have them, it is all about how we deal with them. I see mine clear as day, and realise how it is slowly killing me from the inside out. The question is, do you see yours?
I can pretty much guarantee the very first thought in your head after sleeping with a particular individual, or binge eating would have been.. "why?" The answer is "within" you. Only you can decide when you're ready, but I can help get you closer to it.
And not regarding anything else but this one particular thing. If I were to go to a shrink, he would say, as my parents have noted as well, that in regards to EVERYTHING ELSE, I'm completely rational and logical. And in regards to ONLY THIS ONE VERY SPECIFIC THING
I couldn't agree more. So tell me.. what is this ONE VERY SPECIFIC THING? As much as you try to hide it, you also try to shout it out. That is how we are. From a personal standpoint, I would say it's better just to get it out in the open.
And then you must look at other things about me and about my life...and I will refer to these things as fruit...as that is what the bible refers to them as. I have never, ever been healthier, happier, and more at peace than I am now, and that is a direct result of my "voice"...and of my "miracle"
Let me ask you a question. Do you think your brain would intentionally hurt you? Would it seem more apparent to state that in times of distress, your brain would "console" you, and make things easier to handle? It might just be a pile of mush to you, but is the brain not capable of things you wouldn't instanrty recognise as natural when you need it most - by many means, be it god, aliens or the ghost of Priory Hall. In one way or another, your brain, (the caretaker of your very existence), has to make life as bearable as possible. You are it, it is you.. It has many devices up it's sleeve to make your life that littel bit more comfortable.
Why do you think that the majority of "conversions" to religiously inclined behaviour happen just after a major life stopping event? The very first thing you'll hear from a religious man is "I was on the verge of suicide", or "I was so close to death". The brain has to find an escape to that, because the end of your existance, is the end of its existance - so it gives you a way out. It survives. Yes, you might be a simpleton from thereon, but your brain survives.
I can tell simply by how you write, that you are not destined for that. I know well that you don't really assume it is jesus, even though for the sake of dicsussion you will say it is. I know that for general societical conformity you will claim and say it is jesus - but I know that isn't what you actually feel. Ok, tell me I'm wrong - or just tell me we'll talk, and we'll talk. I'm not offering you magic, Im not offering you eternal life - I'm offering you understanding. You will still die, you will still be worm food.. you'll just get there a lot happier.
Would you mind if I told you a story?
Once upon a time there was a young man who could not understand life. He had been fostered so many times he could not understand what religion was correct, if any. One day he read about a group of people who were living up trees, trying to stop them from being chopped down.
This really hit a note with our hero, who spoke to his friends, saying "I must protect these trees".
Four of us went on our way to help these people protect that which our hero regarded as truly important. Two of us made it there. One ended up in hospital - the other accompanied her back home.
I will never forget the guy who came with me,. nor will I ever forget what we accomplished. No... the trees were still chopped down. A thousand year old wood ruined simply to extend a motorway - but my purpose was fulfilled. You know... at the time it would have seemed like I was on a mission from god.I think we even mentioned that at the time. There was this song, (which I can name), that was constantly playing through my head.. and I can replay the entire event through my mind like it was yesterday. One thing remains true throughout it all.
It didn't take the courage, aid or willingness of a god. Amazing as it might sound to some, it took nothing more than my own worth - my own power. I cared about life - yes, even simple life such as that of trees - and yet at that point, jesus couldn't mean any less. Jesus is all concerned about love towards him, and towards other humans. It is only when you love a tree, only when you would stick your life on the line for a big bit of wood, that you realise how worthless jesus is. I would see the same when I would go to protest against fox hunting. Here I was defending something that didn't have a soul, that wasn't cared about by god or jesus, that I realised the true worth of existance.
I guess it's only when you see life from a worm's perspective that you see reality.
The question, and the moral is.. how better are you, and why are you better? It's true I gave you the very short version, but it's only when you realise how significant a tree is, that you realise how insignificant you are.
In biblical terms, that is equivalent to a jesus parable. It all depends on what you read into it.
So tell me, who is it you're hearing? Is it really the voice of a dead jewish guy from two millennia ago, or is that the simplest explanation you have? Are you in fact really listening to yourself, and you have something you want to tell yourself - but you're just not listening? Perhaps you're just not ready. I can appreciate and understand that - but do know that I am here always. All you need do is PM me. That is upto you, and I leave it with you.
And so anyway, you look at the fruit of the spirit who's voice I hear and it is good...it's all good.
But is that not your brain? Do you think your brain would tell you to do something that isn't good? That's not to say we don't do things that aren't good - hell, I've been a smoker for fifteen years, but I know damn well what my brain is telling me. It is what religious people define as good and bad.. but the source is always the same. My brain reminds me on a daily basis that smoking will kill me. I still do it. It is not because I feel the need to go against authority, it is not because I feel the need to ignore my brain, (which is all I am), it is because the brain is not "one part".
From an evolutionary standpoint, my brain has currently ended up being sectioned into different parts. The reason for this is quite simple - an aid for organisation. You use different areas of the brain when you're painting a picture than when you're working out business strategy for example. There are ups and downs to this. The up is that you're more organised. When someone asks you a question that involves creativity - you can access that instantly - and the same goes with other parts of the brain - segregated for specific functions. The down is that these can "conflict". You get a signal from one side of the brain saying 'smoke' and another that says 'don't smoke'. That is where the whole notion of conscience and indeed 'god' comes from. It's a voice that we can not hear, and a person that we can not see - yet it knows better than we do. In actuality it doesn't know better than we do, it is merely electrical signals passing through our skull.
Now imagine an "overall" question where different parts all have their say. Yes, I bloody know smoking kills - so why do you think I do it? (no, I don't want to die). Why do you think a person engages in 20 years of drugs, smoke, drink, sex and binge eating? It is not because they lack god..
I tell you what, I'm going to leave this as an open question. I would like to hear your answer to it. And please don't say it's because they lack god. I now know you well enough to know that isn't what you really feel.
Actually, for the sake of discussion I would be intrigued to know the name of this band. As I've said a few times now, my PM is always open, so don't think this is something you need to share with the enitre (connected) planet. Let me confess, I listen to Belinda Carlisle. It can't get any worse than that, so don't be shy.
And that notion my friends, is absolutely insane...there is no way in hell I could have done this myself...no way in this world...absolutely not....no way.
Tell me what's more scary.. To say you couldn't have done it yourself, or to say you could have done it yourself? be honest, and remember it took me half an hour just to type this sentence. Fucking vodka.
.my close friend who is suicidal, and on drugs, and basically unable to function in society because of these voices. Now that, on the other hand is some really, really rotten fruit. Rotten spirits. So I believe that those who are diagnosed as schizophrenics really do hear voices in their heads....the voices of demons. You can tell by their fruit, and by what they say to the person that leads to the fruit. My friend tells me that he hears these voices...a voice. It convinces him that there is some vast conspiracy against him, and basically that everyone is out to get him. That people are spying on him...watching him through his television...shit like that. It tells him that he should just make everyone happy and go ahead and kill himself...and he's been close. This person is my ex-husband, so I know him very well.
I find it interesting to note that the person in a mental institution happens to be your ex- husband. What was it jesus said? Let me recap, please... "NO!" Why is that? Jesus doesn't give a shit about people in institutions? Why, being the "humanity" kind of guy he was, would he tell you to avoid the nutcase? I'm sorry, forgive me, but wasn't jesus the type of guy who actually cared for humanity? And yet, here he is advising you against the person with problems. Is it too hard to help that person with problems? Has jesus turned into a slack, non-human caring mother fucker recently? I'm sorry to say it, but even I'm better than this guy... and you dare call him perfect? You know, day in, day out I am trying with all my human frailty to save and help these people... and the best jesus the fucking saviour of mankind can manage is "NO!". Well I hate to say it, but fuck him.
I tell you what Lori, I care about
my kind. I don't need worship, I don't want respect I don't want sacrifice. What I do want, is to help my kind. That is why I shall always be better than jesus, that is why I shall always be better than god. I
care about my kind.
You know, when I meet someone that I need to diagnose as schizophrenic, I don't call them a fucktard, I don't condemn them to hell, I don't say they're not good enough. I don't insult the fact that they're gay, I don't care that they're women, I don't care that they've done bad things. I help my fucking species. God can not come close to that. he thinks he's cool because he made us, and because he wants us to suck his balls.. Well, I hate to say it, but I am cooler because I actually give a shit. I do not demand anything... It is my pleasure, my ability as a human being to help others. God can never manage that, can never understand that. To him we're all sinners. To me we're all humans. Some need company, some need love, some need help. I will give that without asking for anything in return. These are my kind. If there is a god.. he doesn't even come close. Yes, fuck him, I'll burn if that's what it takes. My brothers and sisters come first.
But would you like to know what really separates man from god?
If my daughter did something bad - let's say killed someone. If she asked, I would help her hide the body - and happily be damned. God could never be that good - never be that loving, where he would give his eternal salvation just to aid the one he loves.
Humans are way above and beyond what god could ever hope to be. Instead he relies on incompetent nitwits to "spread his word", visits manic depressives instead of lottery winners, and has no time for "his children". Fuck that, my daughter is the queen of humanity, and I sincerely hope all fathers say the same about their daughters. There is no way, no matter what she did, that I would drown her, close her womb, sulphur bomb her, or make her serve me. She can stick an icepick in my face, and I still wouldn't condemn her to an eternity of burning. That is what humans are, and god cannot compare. Have your god, have your jesus.. I have my daughter - and that is all I ever need.
Ok, let me quickly apologise. That was my "vodka ranting phase". Let's move on shall we
Although I wont try and barge my way into your comments about your 'miracle phase', I can tell you that the above quote isn't very nice. Who says you're not special? If jesus does not tell you everytime he talks to you that you're special - then there's something wrong with him. I hate all this self-doubt bullshit, and if god can't even pick up on the subtle signs, then he's clearly an asshole. You're special, you're beautiful, you're unique. People should be bowing to you. You understand that? If "he" doesn't, forget him.
No, I think that people believe what they want to believe, regardless of evidence. But I do know that there will be evidence provided of this miracle that I keep talking about. When this man that is involved and I finally get together...evidence will be brought forth. But that in no way means that people will believe.
I am upset to see that every single attribute of man has been bought to nothing more than 'evidence'. Love is love, it doesn't imply space beings, nor does it require their approval or intervention. If "they" think it does then frankly they can kiss my nuts. Perhaps you should be more concerned over the feelings you would have for each other instead of whether god gives a shit.
Ok, I will admit I am incredibly pissed, but am I seriously the only sane bloody person left among those that would be called human? Am I the only person that enjoys being human? Am I the only person that doesn't need express permission to get laid?
Ok, I'm seriously going to apologise. I started this post sober as a nun, but have since fell into a strange empty void. I cannot cope with the ineptitude anymore. It's like nobody wants to be human, nobody is happy being human, and everything that human does needs some kind of acceptance certificate.
And I think that you would have to concur, based upon all that I have attested that god has done for me...healed me...restored me...that I am having my cake, and eating it too.
I have the feeling you would have said exactly the same during an alcoholic phase, or any one of the other phases you have been through in life. The cake is fictional. You haven't even gathered the ingredients, but have mentally pictured a cake that you are eating. While it tastes good now, it's only a matter of time before you realise.. "there is no cake". And what comes then? That is the question that you must answer now, or find out later.
I can see, and others can see, it's health benefits as manifested in my body and my life.
That is but an illusion. I remember during my heavy drinking days that people actually said I looked better than normal. The drink actually took my mind off of my problems, and as such I was better off for it. True, I was also shitfaced 24/7, but I didn't have any problems.
I trust the baker, based upon his integrity, and the quality of his product. I know this baker very well.
Yeah, and for all you know, the baker's main ingredient is cyanide. You'll say it's all cool because he sounds nice - but not only have I learnt a few things that limits his ability to be a "friend", but would make me question his very motives aswell. While I might not be the best person to be telling you who to be friendly with, I would advise you never to accept sweets off strangers - and at the end of the day, that's all it amounts to.
Well, I can not say for certain that he CAN'T lie. I would suppose that being god, he could do whatever he wanted. I'm saying though, that based upon my experience with him, it just seems that lying it entirely outside of his nature. That is in something that is completely foreign to his nature...and in a rather emphatic way. As I said, he doesn't even exagerate in the slightest detail...even knowing that I would "get" what he was saying...he is still completely literal. I just think that lying is completely outside of his nature.
That's all it comes down to. You started with "he can't lie", and ended with "I think he he can't lie". It's like a child saying the man handing the sweets is just an innocent grandpa.
Yea, you're a regular comedian yourself.
Hell yes. I do try to use a relevant and intelligent humour though. I can't stand "simplistic" jokes, but use relevant issues to make a subtle, but highly sarcastic, statement.
You can take that as humour, or seriously. Who cares?
He tells me that he wants me to do something, and I say "You've GOT to be kidding", and he says, "You know I don't kid", and then we both laugh.
This is somewhat surprising to me. I had this image that the voice of god would be so damn awesome, so bloody amazing that there would be no room for comments such as "you've GOT to be kidding". I mean like the voice we've always wanted to hear, the sex we've always wanted to have, the person we always wanted to be.
I never realised god was so simple whereby we're not instantly awed by his "presence".
I mean you have to excuse me right now, I'm in no fit state, but to me god would be something of such awe, of such magnificence, that I would just say "yes" and pop my load everytime he spoke.
I mean even the dice followers I have seen do not question or say "you've GOT to be kidding", when the dice ends up on the shitty option.
Sure, I understand it's a thing of humour between you, but to me now, he just doesn't sound as almighty as almighty should be.
C'mon, I've been to many concerts in my life - from MC bloody Hammer to Guns N' Roses. If Axel asked his fans to do something - they wouldn't question it, they'd just do it. If a rock singer can command such respect, what's gods problem?
There are also things that he's told me that I had no way of knowing or understanding, and yet, over time, they were proven to me to be true...through manifestation in my life...through experience in real life.
I can't really comment too much on this without further details.
And if I did deduct these things on my own, then why would I attribute the knowledge to god? Why would I say that god told me this and that when he didn't?
What else would you attribute it to? Saying "hey shit, I had an epiphany" doesn't cut it anymore. You know, I came up with my greatest poem under the influence of drink. I came up with my greatest ever thought while under the influence of drink. Fuck me, drink has been its own little saviour... Everytime anyone asks about the poem I wrote or the thought I came up with, I always mention the drink. Why is that? Does vodka have life? (yes it has spirit)
Why do people name inanimate objects? Why do people refer to boats as she? Why the f*** do I talk to my dog, when I know he doesn't understand a bloody word I say? It's all related.
Don't you think that it would be more probable that I would want to take credit for the knowledge and the good things that it's brought about in my life for myself?
You know, this is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard spewed from the mouth of a religious man. It was.. "anything good comes from god, anything bad, (sin), comes from man."
That just really puts a downer on being a human. It completely negates the effort put into life by humans - such as doctors - and puts all the good stuff in the clouds. The minute we swear, the minute we do something slightly "un-kosher", we're to blame and made to feel miserable. It's perverse, It's pathetic, and it's sickening to think humans can honestly think that way.
Unfortunately it seems to be a side-effect of belief. You just don't see things on a human level anymore, and thus, taking credit for yourself becomes a no-go area. Humanity takes a back seat to space daddy. That's a fact.
So what is the source of my knowledge then? It's not inherent. It's not magic.
Electrical impulses. If you wrote down every thing you've ever seen, everything you've ever felt, touched, sensed, you'd have a book the size of Jupiter. Of course all of that information does not sit right in the front of your brain, making you feel like an over-used bowling ball. There are things sitting in there that you wouldn't even know you know - or think you know. When the time comes, these things pop up like ducks at a fairground stall, and make you ask questions such as the one above. It's not israelite drowning entities, or full moon crawling hairy creatures - it's your brain.
I'm not talking about goosebumps, or smelling anything, or hearing anything, or seeing anything. To reiterate, I saw nothing with my eyes, heard nothing with my ears, and felt nothing with my skin. This was not a physical knowledge or interaction or experience in any way shape or form...there was no physical stimuli present. But his presence did in fact solicit a profound physical response from me...tears...lots and lots of tears...tears of immense relief.
You missed my point. To you, it might not have been anything, but you're not always aware that the stimuli are there. The conscious does not recognise that whiff of perfume, or the dent in the carpet - and so, looking back, you'll claim it was a completely "stimuli-free" event.
There are really conscious stimuli. A while back, while sitting here perusing the fourms, I felt something behind me - and had a shiver worm its way down my back. I tried to evaluate the occurence - and could only attribute it to being my dead son, walking invisible through my house, or a simple physical response gone pear shaped. While the former seems really... sweet... and would make me fall to my knees in sorrow the latter holds up under scrutiny. And scrutiny is all we have. Who are we to judge the things that we go through as mystical happenings? We can just avoid that and accept 'real life' based upon what we actually know.
Anyway, yes it's been long.. but regardless, I'd like you to talk to me. I apologise for my later rantings, but it's my birthday. I'll leave it in your hands.
