It sounds to me like you have already decided what you want to hear, so I'll keep it short this time:
Children will not be put to death for the sins of their fathers - it says nowhere children will not die. It only says, as I have pointed out, that those involved with rebellion against God will be held accountable for the death of those who were innocent and would have escaped the punishment had they heeded the warning.
But in the end "death comes to us all" in one form or another - no Biblical law can prevent anybody from dying, innocent or guilty.
Yes they shared the punishment - no it wasn't for their fathers, it was because of their fathers, in more than one way. Their fathers 1)brought it upon them by attacking the Israelites, among them innocent women and children 2)did not turn away from the path that would lead to death.
When you taunt a snake and one of your children get bitten, it doesn't matter whatever else you did or did not do or whether your child was "innocent". Every action has consequences, sometimes unhappy ones.
God protected his own children jealously. The Amalekites should have done the same.
Do you think the "guilty" ones lived 450 years? Obviously, as I have shown before, they continued plaguing the Israelites and probably everybody else. There are other examples of people who acted like barbarians in history.
I don't condone any slaughter either. But not liking a war doesn't stop one. In my opinion though, and from the perspective of the brutal way of life at the time, those children wouldn't have been better off alone in the desert without parents. As the word for "destroy" indicates, they were given over to God: God simply took over their lives - He became their father, since their own fathers were not taking care of them.
My point was that saying someone is innocent does not make them innocent. The judge decides that - we don't. But I have told you the only obvious reason that they died was because they were guiltless victims of their own indiscriminate parents.
Just to show you that guilt or innocence isn't the problem: when chldren are abused by their parents, they are obviously innocent. Why then can the state assume authority over their parents by taking them into custody? Do you have the authority to declare those children better off alive? We can only take note of what happened and learn from it. God's authority to make decisions is not in dispute.
Why is it suddenly insane that they might be innocent? The Bible doesn't say they went to hell - in fact, we don't even know where the parents went! Do you know? Because I don't.
Death only breaks our contract with death and the law.
When the last trumpet sounds (the last warning) all the dead will be resurrected to be judged. When you have a court hearing, they don't just summon the innocent ones. They summon everyone involved, and then judge their guilt or innocence. If there were no justice, either everybody would remain dead, or everybody would live with God regardless whether they recognized His authority or not.
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