The Most Destructive Attitude in Romance

Is the attitude described in the OP the most destructive attitude in romance?

  • Yes!

    Votes: 5 20.0%

  • No!

    Votes: 10 40.0%

  • Otter!

    Votes: 10 40.0%
  • Total voters
    25
I voted Otter. I like mustelids. They're cute.

I understand her doing that, it's only human nature. I'm sure males have similar habits. People have the right to decide what they want in a potential partner and then go looking for someone of that type.

Attraction isn't conscious or rational, however much we like to think it is. We're still animals. We don't feel lust/love towards someone because they fulfil a set of criteria on a checklist. At least, I don't.

Relationships would be boring if they were based on that.
 
Chemistry isn't just physical, there has to be some deeper interest than shallow notions of "niceness" or apparent compatability.
 
i doubt there is any such thing as ;chemistry;. ideally there should be equal appreciation bah, is there such a thing as equal? perhaps when there is one... but two? i find that
 
mr. right "poor poor pitiful me. no one cares what a great guy i am."

mr. wrong "i'm an asshole and i don't care. take it or leave it bitch."

which one is sexier?

i'm sick of the "nice guy" routine. nice guys aren't any nicer than other guys, they just have a different angle...the pity party angle. what a turn on that is...
 
Lori_7 said:
mr. right "poor poor pitiful me. no one cares what a great guy i am."

mr. wrong "i'm an asshole and i don't care. take it or leave it bitch."

which one is sexier?

i'm sick of the "nice guy" routine. nice guys aren't any nicer than other guys, they just have a different angle...the pity party angle. what a turn on that is...
Click to expand...

You'd probably find none of them want pity, they tell it as they see it and want support and reassurance as their confidence is wavering.
 
Anti-Flag said:
You'd probably find none of them want pity, they tell it as they see it and want support and reassurance as their confidence is wavering.
Click to expand...

i'm pretty sure they want sex just like everybody else.
 
spidergoat said:
Chemistry isn't just physical, there has to be some deeper interest than shallow notions of "niceness" or apparent compatability.
Click to expand...


sure it is
its all things biological
if that aint the major factor for a relationship b/w the sexes, one might as well hang out with your own kind

i have my preference.......a pocket venus with just the right admixture of pheromones that scrambles my brains and makes me wanna jump her bones all the frikkin time

its quite fascinating really. if there is a reciprocity on her part.....why we are talking orgies of sex
ja
40 days and 40 nights
 
Last edited:
Anti-Flag said:
Like you do? ;)
Click to expand...

no anti-flag, when i say "everyone", what i really mean is "everyone except for me". :confused::confused:

the fact is that wavering confidence is NOT attractive, and a man should not have to get reassurance from a woman. that's placing undo responsibility on a woman, and showing her that you are weak. learn to love yourselves guys.
 
Lori_7 said:
no anti-flag, when i say "everyone", what i really mean is "everyone except for me".
Click to expand...
You've proclaimed on these forums before that you were celibate, at least for a long time, so one can only presume when you say
i'm pretty sure they want sex just like everybody else.
Click to expand...
that statement isn't quite as accurate as you'd have us believe. Evidently not everyone is desperate for sex, and aren't simply "acting" as a ploy to get it. ;)

the fact is that wavering confidence is NOT attractive, and a man should not have to get reassurance from a woman. that's placing undo responsibility on a woman, and showing her that you are weak. learn to love yourselves guys.
Click to expand...
People always have times where their confidence isn't what it usually is or should be. It's normal. To assume their "angle" is always about pity(and sex as you seem to think) is rather ignorant.
Attractive quality or not you'd probably find your assumptions most likely contribute to the way you treat them, and I'd imagine makes things worse for them.
I guess we should also apply your above standards to women too, lest we be sexist. :shrug:
 
lixluke said:
I think what was hurting both of you was whatever was going on with you. I'm not saying that you weren't doing the right thing. But in the end, what you were supposed to do before you broke up was ride him silly despite how you were feeling. Then after that, make your decision. In fact, I think this would make for a great experiment. Call him up. Ask him if he would be interested in coming over, and getting laid. If so, great! Ride him silly, and please come back here with the results.


I think the bottom line is the trend that girls way too often ride guys who totally don't deserve it, and shamelessly trash the devoted caring ones that do. I see it all the time. I'm heading to Border's now to read more tragic stories. They're in about every book in the relationships section.
Click to expand...

That's what I said, that's why I broke up with him. And why would I have sex with him if it grosses me out? It'd be like raping myself or something. I would just lay there with my eyes closed praying for it to be over so I could go home and throw up. Just like I did whenever he got to close to me on our dates.
 
lixluke said:
That's the whole problem. Mr. Right is caring and devoted, yet he is considered the weirdo. This is the exact attitude that destroys potentially great relationships. Thanks for clearing that up.
Click to expand...

So stop being the nice guy and act like you don't give a rats ass, women, like confident guys that are their own men. They don't want some guy that caters to them yet because they like the chase.

You can't force them to like you with your caring and devotion. You will end up being their friend only. They will come to you when their relationships sour and you will never get any.

So you can have a great relationship with them, but nothing romantic. Why should they, your too easy. They want the satisfaction of the hunt. They want passion in their prize capture.
 
Lori_7 said:
mr. right "poor poor pitiful me. no one cares what a great guy i am."

mr. wrong "i'm an asshole and i don't care. take it or leave it bitch."

which one is sexier?

i'm sick of the "nice guy" routine. nice guys aren't any nicer than other guys, they just have a different angle...the pity party angle. what a turn on that is...
Click to expand...

I agree that women don't like the pity party mamby pambies.

But, I don't know of any guys that use that as a tactic. Most guys are just not that sophisticated about the dating game to even try that.

Especially since the pity party angle doesn't work for the most part.

However, I guess you could, if a really good actor, claim that you just suffered some terrible loss to try and trick the women to feel sorry for you for a one night stand, but you better hope she never finds out.

I think that is the rare case.

If a guy seems that weak he probably is.

I am way to honest to ever try something like that. Don't have a good poker face.

However, what I have learned over the years, is when to keep my mouth shut why I am feeling a little vulnerable and not so manly :D
 
Lix,

No disrespect whatsoever in this question as it could explain some of your relationship questions.

Are you a virgin ?
 
Anti-Flag said:
You've proclaimed on these forums before that you were celibate, at least for a long time, so one can only presume when you say

that statement isn't quite as accurate as you'd have us believe. Evidently not everyone is desperate for sex, and aren't simply "acting" as a ploy to get it. ;)
Click to expand...

I went through 8 yrs of celibacy from age 33 to 42, the female prime, and could have probably could have chewed through my dining room table, but I wanted a lot more from a man than sex and otherwise it wasn't worth having.

I'm just idealistic. I don't just want to have sex, I want to have idealistic sex.


People always have times where their confidence isn't what it usually is or should be. It's normal. To assume their "angle" is always about pity(and sex as you seem to think) is rather ignorant.
Attractive quality or not you'd probably find your assumptions most likely contribute to the way you treat them, and I'd imagine makes things worse for them.
I guess we should also apply your above standards to women too, lest we be sexist. :shrug:[/QUOTE]
 
lixluke said:
"He's a really nice person that really cares alot, but there's just no chemistry."

What a crock!
Click to expand...

Why? You're not really giving us a lot to work with: he's really nice and cares a lot--and?! Perhaps he's boring as fuck-all, a moron, lacks common interests, and ugly--ought one "love" him regardless?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top