The Most Destructive Attitude in Romance

[Lori_7]

You've proclaimed on these forums before that you were celibate, at least for a long time, so one can only presume when you say

that statement isn't quite as accurate as you'd have us believe. Evidently not everyone is desperate for sex, and aren't simply "acting" as a ploy to get it.

I spent 8 yrs in celibacy, between the ages of 33 and 42, the female prime, and could have chewed through my dining room table at times.

Ulimately though, seeking a relationship with a man that involved a level of intimacy that I had never achieved before, so I stood for that, residing the fact that it, for some reason, wouldn't be possible for me.

I was wrong about that, and I'm glad I stood for what I believe in.

People act ok? About a lot of things.

People always have times where their confidence isn't what it usually is or should be. It's normal. To assume their "angle" is always about pity(and sex as you seem to think) is rather ignorant.
Attractive quality or not you'd probably find your assumptions most likely contribute to the way you treat them, and I'd imagine makes things worse for them.
I guess we should also apply your above standards to women too, lest we be sexist. :shrug:

Not sexist.

Men and women alike should love themselves. Its only then that you can feel good about giving yourself to someone else.

After what I've been through I just don't have a lot of sympathy.

The question is why does mr. Right want ms. Idiot?

Keep your dick in your pants before you answer that question.

 

[Lori_7]

I agree that women don't like the pity party mamby pambies.

But, I don't know of any guys that use that as a tactic. Most guys are just not that sophisticated about the dating game to even try that.

Especially since the pity party angle doesn't work for the most part.

However, I guess you could, if a really good actor, claim that you just suffered some terrible loss to try and trick the women to feel sorry for you for a one night stand, but you better hope she never finds out.

I think that is the rare case.

If a guy seems that weak he probably is.

I am way to honest to ever try something like that. Don't have a good poker face.

However, what I have learned over the years, is when to keep my mouth shut why I am feeling a little vulnerable and not so manly

Is someone who you could open yourself up to completely, and them do the same for you, until you can't wait for more, sound good?

You can't open up if you don't love yourself.

 

[Crunchy Cat]

"He's a really nice person that really cares alot, but there's just no chemistry."

What a crock! This is the most screwed up and pathetic attitude anybody could have.

I don't think you understand what the messasge means. It's generally one of the following:

1) I don't find you sexually appealing.
2) I don't value the same things you do.

Either one of those items would doom an intimiate relationship.

 

[lixluke]

which one is sexier?

Certainly not the asshole. Thank you for proving my point. Hos/crab ass bitches never appreciate those who are actually there for them and care about them. They treat them like shit while they ho around with assholes. People think that hos are girls ho enjoy sex. That's not the case. There are lots of great girls who enjoy sex. Hos are simply the idiots who foolsihly bang guys who don't deserve it while not giving a crap about the ones that do. And no it doesn't make for an exciting relationship. They are missing out on real excitement because they are too damn idiotic to recognize what is often in front of their nose. It happens all the time. I know. I was at Border's all day today reading stuff.

There happens to be lots of girls out there who enjoy sex, but aren't crabs. I've met lots of really cool badass bitches who aren't about the stupid shit you are so proud of. Girls who are only interested in guys that are caring and interesting. But it really seems to be like 1% of the girls out there. They can't stand the assholes that all the other idiot girls are obsessed with.

 

[lixluke]

And why would I have sex with him if it grosses me out?

Didn't you get the point of the experiment? Just suck it up, and ride him. Then see how you feel after that. Call him up. See if he wants to come over and get laid silly. Then come back here and talk the talk. Until you walk the walk, don't say crap. Just do it OK. It will be the most amazing experience of your life. You said it yourself he was perfect in every way. Well you owe it to yourself to give it one more shot, and try something you should have thought of trying in the first place. It's very easy. Just say "Hello. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming over and pounding me like crazy." Goodspeed!

But, I don't know of any guys that use that as a tactic.

That's because the whole idea of it being some sort of tactic/angle is nothing but pure and utter horationalization. Don't forget hos are idiots who foolishly allow losers and lames to fuck them. All the time. And their excuse for not banging the nice guy isn't "He's genuinely nice and caring while I'm a stupid ass crab ass ho". No. It's "I don't trust him because being nice is some sort of tactic/gimmick/angle."

 

[lixluke]

I don't think you understand what the messasge means. It's generally one of the following:

1) I don't find you sexually appealing.
2) I don't value the same things you do.

Either one of those items would doom an intimiate relationship.

It seems that the issue here has evolved into:
1. Shitty hos being attracted to and banging lames and losers.
2. Meanwhile the ho is such an assHOle that she refuses to bang the caring devoted individual that is right in front of her. Thereby missing out on a truly exciting and amazing relationship. "Oh it's because there's no chemistry." Really? Well fuck him, then spend some intimate time with him, and find out you stupid ass donkey!


Why do you think culture evolved into repression and no sex before marriage? All because crones were going around banging lames and losers. In order to get these stupid ass hos in line, they had to go around claiming that sex before marriage is wrong. It's not sex before marriage that is wrong. It's dumb bitches allowing themselves to be manipulated into sex with lames that gets nobody anywhere. And fucks shit up for everybody. It fucks it up for the dumb ass girls that do it. It fucks it up for the real caring and devoted types who aren't about all the manipulation bullshit. These overly strange social standards have their root in the very situation being discussed.

 

[lixluke]

Lames/Losers: Boring. Often unintelligent. Manipulative. Often gets laid by hos who think they are sexy and exciting.

Prince: Caring. Interesting. Exciting. Often intelligent. Typically doesn't get laid hardly ever because don't believe in manipulating. Angelic. Greatness sometimes to the point of unfortunately staying devoted to hos who treat him like dirt. "Because the chemistry just isn't there."

 

[Crunchy Cat]

It seems that the issue here has evolved into:
1. Shitty hos being attracted to and banging lames and losers.
2. Meanwhile the ho is such an assHOle that she refuses to bang the caring devoted individual that is right in front of her. Thereby missing out on a truly exciting and amazing relationship. "Oh it's because there's no chemistry." Really? Well fuck him, then spend some intimate time with him, and find out you stupid ass donkey!
...
...
...

Apparently you didn't understand what I stated.

 

[lixluke]

You stated that sexual appeal and values are necessary for a successful relationship. And that is supposedly what chemistry is about. We've already addressed all of this. What is your point?

 

[parmalee]

Prince: Caring. Interesting. Exciting. Often intelligent. Typically doesn't get laid hardly ever because don't believe in manipulating. Angelic. Greatness sometimes to the point of unfortunately staying devoted to hos who treat him like dirt. "Because the chemistry just isn't there."

Probably because you're none of that.

Get over it you fucking pathetic douchebag, and go get yourself a prostitute. You're boring the living, breathing fuck out of me.

 

[Meursalt]

It's quite probable it'll take lixluke most of his life to get over the fact that he was sold a candy apple when he was a lad and it turned out to be painted horseshit.

Even worse is the fact that, twenty years later, he's still eating it.

 

[Doreen]

Lixluke,
I don't think you responded to my first post on page 1.

But here's another take.

Women make the exact same complaints you are making about women, but about men.

It sounds to me like YOU are doing exactly what you are complaining about....

focusing your attentions on the members of the opposite sex who are not nice to you.

 

[Lori_7]

That's because the whole idea of it being some sort of tactic/angle is nothing but pure and utter horationalization. Don't forget hos are idiots who foolishly allow losers and lames to fuck them. All the time. And their excuse for not banging the nice guy isn't "He's genuinely nice and caring while I'm a stupid ass crab ass ho". No. It's "I don't trust him because being nice is some sort of tactic/gimmick/angle."

from what i've read from you on this forum, you don't sound all that nice. you actually sound like an immature, conceited, whiney-ass little bitch. which could be the problem.

 

[Meursalt]

"Could be"???

 

[Lori_7]

Certainly not the asshole. Thank you for proving my point. Hos/crab ass bitches never appreciate those who are actually there for them and care about them. They treat them like shit while they ho around with assholes. People think that hos are girls ho enjoy sex. That's not the case. There are lots of great girls who enjoy sex. Hos are simply the idiots who foolsihly bang guys who don't deserve it while not giving a crap about the ones that do. And no it doesn't make for an exciting relationship. They are missing out on real excitement because they are too damn idiotic to recognize what is often in front of their nose. It happens all the time. I know. I was at Border's all day today reading stuff.

There happens to be lots of girls out there who enjoy sex, but aren't crabs. I've met lots of really cool badass bitches who aren't about the stupid shit you are so proud of. Girls who are only interested in guys that are caring and interesting. But it really seems to be like 1% of the girls out there. They can't stand the assholes that all the other idiot girls are obsessed with.

my point is, either be ok with yourself, and shut up...or change, and shut up.

 

[lixluke]

from what i've read from you on this forum, you don't sound all that nice. you actually sound like an immature, conceited, whiney-ass little bitch. which could be the problem.

Debate tactics. So pathetic and only reinforce the point of whoever it is you disagree with. Ad hom reasoning is an indicator of distorted thought.

 

[Lori_7]

Debate tactics. So pathetic and only reinforce the point of whoever it is you disagree with. Ad hom reasoning is an indicator of distorted thought.

i'm not debating with you. it's just an observation.

 

[Absane]

"He's a really nice person that really cares alot, but there's just no chemistry."

What a crock! This is the most screwed up and pathetic attitude anybody could have. It has destroyed mindboggingly countless potentially great relationships. I keep reading this shit in the bookstore. Mr. Right is devoted and right under Ms. Idiot's nose, but she immediately disqualifies him as a romantic interest without any actual thought or consideration. All because "He's a really nice person that really cares alot, but there's just no chemistry."

Meanwhile, she goes through one crappy relationship experience after another wondering what's wrong. Then when Mr. Right gets tired of the bullshit, he ejects to find somebody better. And Ms. Idiot wishes she would have hooked up with Mr. Right in the first place. It ALWAYS happens everywhere all the time.

Chemistry is nothing but rationalization. It's a set presumed characteristics imposed upon an individual to justify interest/disinterest. It is based completely on cheap surface assessment. She may know full well what a perfect, devoted, caring, wondeful person he is. But she comes up with various rationalizations to immediately disqualify him. It's all a selfdelusion to blind herself from the truth. She then calls it "chemistry".

When a women doesn't want to "settle down" but isn't conciously aware of this, of course she's going to not feel attraction to the nice guy.

PLUS, nice guys tend to not show sexual interest early enough... so he gets put into the "friendzone" in the woman's mind. When the nice guy finally develops the balls to go in for the kiss, she is creeped out.

 

[cluelusshusbund]

..nice guys tend to not show sexual interest early enough... so he gets put into the "friendzone" in the woman's mind. When the nice guy finally develops the balls to go in for the kiss, she is creeped out.

Yes Lexluke... Absane makes som good ponts... an the average person will have success wit the moves hes suggestin... but if you'r jugment is off a bit (an i suspect you'rs is) you will likely esperience a healthy dose of "mace" :runaway:

 

[Absane]

Debate tactics. So pathetic and only reinforce the point of whoever it is you disagree with. Ad hom reasoning is an indicator of distorted thought.

No, she has a point. This whole thread is just a rationalization of your uninformed and ill thought out viewpoint on women. You think that because women don't find YOU attractive all the while thinking that you're the biggest catch, that women are stupid for going with the other males of this species.

Total bullshit.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why women (or humans, in general) do what they do... even when their decisions seem to make no sense? It's quite amazing how humans do some of the most seemingly illogical things, yet we've managed to climb to the top of the food chain and harness some of the most power forces in nature and in the universe. I think we're doing quite well for ourselves.

For example... why does a person lie even when the liar knows for a FACT that he has been caught? Hell, why does a liar allow his body language to display the truth?

Why do people play the lottery? From a purely rational perspective, the lottery is a tax on those that can't do math. Even if a millionaire bought every combination of ticket to guarantee a win, he'd lose money even before taxes are taken from the winnings.

Why do you collection welfare when you know that you can make more money building a doghouse for the elderly woman down the street?

There is an explanation that makes total sense... provided you look hard enough to find the reasons.

Look at women. Why would Alice feel a deep friendship with Luke but never dare have a sexual relationship with him? But then she meets Rob, has sex with Rob, and then later perhaps dump Rob because she thinks he's a total asshole?

First off, Alice may unconsciously feel attraction for assholes like Rob for whatever reason... maybe she's convinced herself that she can only have people like Rob. Whatever. There are decent guys out there that she could have a sexual relationship from, but she's unconsciously closed off from them.

But, look at Luke. Why won't she have sex with Luke? Ultimately, it's not because Luke is the nicest guy she knows. It's because at the start of their relationship, he has never hinted that he feels sexual attraction to her. Why? He's scared that she will reject him. Ok, so what? Rejection isn't the end of the world. But, why would he FEAR rejection? What's the motivating thing in the back of his mind driving this fear? His neediness.

A need is something that sustains life. If we are denied something we need, we risk death. And trust me, death is very scary.

We need food. If sense that food is going to be scarce, we will get scared. Why are we scared? Lack of food means we die.

We need shelter. If we are stranded out in the desert with plenty of food and water but we have no shelter, we'll freeze to death at night or experience a heat stroke. We get scared.

Fear that precedes an event is a strong motivating factor to hold back. For example, if I recognize that a bear might be hiding in the dark cave, then I get very scared if I try to walk into the cave. If I am scared enough, I won't do anything.

So, again, you think you need sex from this woman. Because it's a need in your mind, your brain acts in a manner that is consistent with possible death in the absence of success.

Stop being so needy. It's a huge turn off for women.

Ask yourself one question: if, starting TODAY, no woman would ever find you sexually attractive ever again, could you still be completely in love with your life, even then?

Really think about this. You might first say "yes," but the impression I get from your posts in this thread say "no." After all, if your answer were "yes" then you wouldn't feel a need to complain about not getting what you desire from a woman.

Fin.