Don't forget rolling papers. I can't tell you how many doobs I smoked wrapped in gospel.
The christian Bible...
- Thread starter Mr. Hamtastic
- Start date
Don't forget rolling papers. I can't tell you how many doobs I smoked wrapped in gospel.
No, but if something is misunderstood, we can't call it fact either.
Look up the word "Hell" in KJV. Cross reference that with the hebrew text. Also, the word "cross"
All English Bibles have been translated, and have lost some meaning. Then, we have a culture barrier. Phrases and sayings in the time and culture, cannot be translated accurately.
Also, God did not write the Bible and all forms of communication are inadequate to relating ideas completely. That is why it is dangerous. A nut job could distort the unseen truth and cause harm, under the guise of religion. If the text was not open to so much interpretation, there would not be these problems. But, a major problem is text itself is just inadequate to convey ideas. There are a lot of barriers.
The idea of "Hell" is not insignificant. There are two good discussions going on on these forums concerning the word. They are more than convincing.
Believing the Bible is God's word (by relation perfect) and that God is real is dangerous. Get involved with a church, and try to deal with the board and its issues. You will see what I mean.
If it is impossible, why did make me this way, only to on the other hand require I trick my mind into believing under pain of death. It is torture. I've lived that way too long. The mind is a powerful thing, I very much had myself fooled. It was God's lack of response over and over that changed my mind. That, and the fact that others who are more knowledgable and spiritual than me fail to do the most basic thing and reach out and be willing to put the Bible aside for the holy spirit. The judgements of what is good is distorted if you are forced to live and think by the law.
How can I love something that doesn't exist?
What objective evidence of a bodily resurrection?
You are metaphorically speaking, that doesn't make it true.
If I make a sand castle, that doesn't mean the thing speaks on my behalf.
If I asked a group of people to write my ideas down, can those be trusted without me editing the work?
That is a shallow argument. If Gideon had faith, he would have believed God the first time. Having faith in God is having faith that he is God, capable of anything.
Gideon was asking if God was with him.
Not really, us humans get it right sometimes. If there is a God, I'm sure the Bible is partially correct....but as the Bible depicts, humans get things wrong more than right.
Hmmm...the foolish people you are talking about are only following scripture....they were the Pastor and his wife of our church!! They were good people, and truly live out the Bible and it's teachings.
Here's a little sample, not that you are an authority of what God thinks of the situation:
The church wanted to have a charity auction to raise money. The Pastor and his wife were against the idea stating that it is removing the opportunity for someone to give (as in fill the cup singlehandedly). They are right, and they are wrong.
Another example is Mary Magdaline pouring oil on Jesus. The Disciples said she was wrong, Jesus said she is right. But, the Disciples were right too, that oil could have fed many starving people. In the end, only God is right, not what the Disciples had been taught through scriptures.
That's why your not a Christian.
Did what?
You are right, Q. I think the thread is fare enough off course. Let's move on to the next chapter.
1 And the LORD said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation.
2 Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
3 Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.
4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.
5 And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
6 And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.
7 And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood.
8 Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,
9 There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, the male and the female, as God had commanded Noah.
10 And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.
11 In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.
12 And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.
13 In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;
14 They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.
15 And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.
16 And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in.
17 And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.
18 And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.
19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.
20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.
21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
22 All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.
23 And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.
24 And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.
v. 20 always gets me. How big is a cubit again? 15 cubits to go over mount everest. How many cubits was the Ark? Must have been huge, like the size of a small european country or something.
2 Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
3 Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.
4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.
5 And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
6 And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.
7 And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood.
8 Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,
9 There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, the male and the female, as God had commanded Noah.
10 And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.
11 In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.
12 And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.
13 In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;
14 They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.
15 And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.
16 And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in.
17 And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.
18 And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.
19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.
20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.
21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
22 All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.
23 And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.
24 And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.
v. 20 always gets me. How big is a cubit again? 15 cubits to go over mount everest. How many cubits was the Ark? Must have been huge, like the size of a small european country or something.
v11 is another one. fountains of the great deep? windows of heaven? Was water imported for this rainfall?
Also, while he took birds "to keep seeds alive" and everything living was destroyed, he took no plants. If he did, they aren't mentioned. Just curious.
Why is the date important?
PE-No idea. Considering how relative the given date was to Noah, it seems irrelevant. I could be wrong, of course.
Care to comment on the bolded parts, Hammy? Look familiar?
Not quite so big, certainly not big enough for it's purpose.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cubit
"Noah's Ark was taller than a 3-story building and had a deck area the size of 36 lawn tennis courts. Its length was 300 cubits (450 feet, or 135 meters); its width was 50 cubits (75 feet, or 22.5 meters); it had three stories and its height was 30 cubits (45 feet, or 13.5 meters)."
http://www.creationtips.com/arksize.html
Amazing what you can find out when you do your homework, eh Ham?
15 cubits to go 5 miles suggests a different length for the given cubit. How tall is Everest again?
Ah, good question. There's also the JDawgian Bible, which is available for the low, low price of $14.95 at my website, www.thisisafakereligion.org
Orly-Maybe it should have been "Holy Book". I want to do this with the Koran as well. I'm unfamiliar with the stuff the Catholics include, nor am I familiar with the Jehovah's Witness translation. The Mormon Bible, I have read once. I was ill afterwards, like food poisoning of the brain. Haven't been back to it. You'll find the Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor LaVey a shor, interesting read. The name of Buckland's big book of withcraft escapes me just now, I used to have it, it was blue paperback, and physically large. Fairly short though. Wiccans' Books of Shadows are more closely to their holy books, but many of these are sort of like Diaries. That's all that's on the top of my head. I'll go see if I can edit the title, never have known how to do that.
http://bigdave.tribe.net/
My personal favorite made up religion. Although hearing a bit about Myu makes me wish they'd put a holy book together for it.
My personal favorite made up religion. Although hearing a bit about Myu makes me wish they'd put a holy book together for it.