I think I would still love the person, but I couldn't accept that kind of lifestyle.
So no matter how much I loved them if they wanted that kind of life I would have to leave the relationship, because it would never work for me.
....Geeze Orly, have you spent your whole life in West Virginia? We make our own marriage vows to suit our own lives. The vow to forsake all others needs to be nothing more than a promise to put your spouse first in terms of establishing your own personal community of family. ....
.... trapping a person in a monogamous relationship to ensure they'll never find something better seems petty and self-centred......
There are bazillions of people who have one-on-one sex with each other and falling in love isn't even the remotest possibility. Why should it be any greater in a four-way?
... i get many offers, tricked into sexual realtions with women. .....
trapping them?! Its self-centered?! They can do all their looking for something better when they are single. I find it unbelievable that monogamy was never discussed prior to marriage. If the person says they will be faithful, how is it trapping them? How does it become the other persons fault?
If my partner wants to swing, it damn well isn't my fault. Its his decision and he can take responsibility for it.
sure, if you want monogamy and they don't, maybe you aren't the person for them and vice versa. its just like, the reasons for people being uneasy with it seems to jealousy and fear and stuff. you're limiting the person by saying 'no i want you only to myself'. i hate doing anything where jealousy fear etc. is the motivation.
i dunno what the answer is, i think i'd feel less close to my girlfriend if we slept around, because it'd be harder to call her my one true love or something like that. i guess i like how monogamy serves as a little mating dance, its an offering to her. i also might feel dirty, and regard her differently, if we were sleeping around too, but surely that's me being pervaded by the 'whore' idea.
my main problem with the issue is that if two people truly love each other, how can anything you do with other people detract from that?
This shouldn't be taken personal, but in my opinion, the swinging or open
marriage in general is disgusting and immoral.
It is immoral because there are chances that one or both get hurt.
If neither is hurt, maybe it's fine. But I wonder though, why get married in
the first place then. I just don't get it. Marriage is an "investment". In the
sense that people spent time and effort to build relationship. To protect
this investment, each declare promises to be bound. Ideally, a true promise
should also function as a guarantee. The guarantee gives security. However,
when things doesn't work, such as when you aren't happy or satisfy anymore
with your partner or just one partner, you should firstly leave the marriage to
set both free (from the promise).
I agree to the opinions here that say just because you are married, it doesn't
mean you "own" each other. However, my opinion is that, we aren't even
belong to ourselves, we are belong to our Creator. If I create something, it
should be belong to me and follow my rules, unless I am willing to do otherwise
upon my consent.
in a tennis match both people have a risk of getting hurt, i wouldn't say that makes it immoral.
how does monogamy serve as a guarantee, and of what? i see marriage as a vow to love the other person, why should sex with another person affect this love? sex with someone you don't love is just mutual masturbation.
something that's supposedly been given free will should be allowed to do what it wants, and failure to comply with the rules of an entity (who you'd expect to be pretty understanding) shouldn't result in eternal damnation. therefore god's opinion is irrelevant so long as your reasons are good. why follow a god who punishes people who acted with good reasons?
Bottom line is: They really should not have gotten married.
I need to add that besides immoral, it is also unethical. In my opinion, being
moral and ethical in a marriage is being considerate with each other's feeling.
I don't know how about men, but most women I know do not like to share
their husbands.
If people are willing to allow their partners to have sexual relationship with
other people yet keeping their marriage, to me the marriage itself looks like,
uhm, a legitimize prostitution. It's like, "hey, you are free to sleep with anyone
so long you support me financially", or "hey, you are free to sleep with anyone
so long you cook and clean for me". A marriage is a commitment between a
husband and a wife, a union of two persons. That means, to commit just to
dear each other (especially sexually), not to dear sexually your friends, your
neighbors, your boss, your brother, your sister, etc. A place of hat is on the
head, a place of watch is on the arm, a place of shoes are on the foot.
Everything has its place...
Yeah, if people get married, I think it means they declare promises to be just
for each other. If it is a good promise, it should be means a guarantee. If I
promise you to do something and I don't do it, then what is the meaning of
promise? Or, why make a promise in the first place? As people are often
attracted to many persons, it needs strong self-control to commit. Lack of
self-control is a sign of weakness. However, a marriage is a preference.
Nobody is forced to do it. It's just like a job, you know. If you aren't able
to fulfill the job contract, why sign?
Actually it is pretty useless to discuss this aspect, I forgot that not all people
believe in God. Well, if you believe in one like me, I think this means we have
to follow God's rules. If I am a god and I make a creation, I think I have the
privilege to set the rules for my creations. Just like if I have a company and
I hire employees, they should follow my company's rule, not the rules follow
the employees. As far as I know, in any religion, at least in Islam and Christian,
it is not allowed to swing in a marriage.
What kind of moron doesn't have that clarified before they get married?
not to me. If my man wanted to swing, he will be doing it without me or my approval. Without me its called cheating. I would rather be divorced than have both of us be miserable.
Isn't this like having a spouse find religion and if I really loved him I'd go to church with him? Uh, no thanks.
not to me. If my man wanted to swing, he will be doing it without me or my approval. Without me its called cheating. I would rather be divorced than have both of us be miserable.
Isn't this like having a spouse find religion and if I really loved him I'd go to church with him? Uh, no thanks.
that's not the question though, i mean is it ok for people who are prepared to swing to get married? does their marriage mean less, even if they love each other more than other married couples?
i think its only ok if both are genuinely good with it. therefore the religion analogy doesn't apply. if one's going along with it just to please the other, most likely they will just get hurt.