Entering the village with a tattered little map found stomped on in the religion forum I walk around slightly lost trying to find the house of the monkey. In hopes to bargain for some of his famous SciRum (the non poisonus kind), i turn the map left and right until finally the picture matches up with the village before me. "Ah! there it is!" Spurious`s hut looks empty. "anyone home?" i pace around the outside of the hut hoping to catch some sign of life inside. .."hmm.. did it rain? it sure looks muddy over here.. ohhh wait a minute.... ICK!"
Scivillage
- Thread starter lixluke
- Start date
NightFall finds her self in a confrontation with the me. “hey baby mind if I infest your uterus?” NightFall quickly pulls out pepper spray and sprays it on me. “Aaaah my fucking eyes!” Laser beams shot out of eyes and hit Nightfall, all I hear is the thump of her falling over. “Hey baby you alright, I would look but I’ll have to wait until the skin grows back on my eyeballs!” despite blindness I manage to feel my way to my destination. If the town would have used a toilet now and then I would still have a home to live in and Proud Muslim would not have starved to death and stank up my well with his rotting putrid corpse.
damn closed the wrong window and i had a good little stories going, Nightfall was almost eaten, then dumped in the lake because she stank from hanging out around spuriousmonkey hut, follow by some other crap, but i just had to click the wrong X 
Finally I return to Scivillage, I have all the books I wanted. *looks around* No fish in sight, good.
As I look what happened, I discover that Invert now spends his time in a mental asylum, hanging around in a straight jacket. Perhaps I should go an visit him? Ahh, perhaps tomorrow, I need some rest from my travels. So I lock myself into my home and start reading my books.
As I look what happened, I discover that Invert now spends his time in a mental asylum, hanging around in a straight jacket. Perhaps I should go an visit him? Ahh, perhaps tomorrow, I need some rest from my travels. So I lock myself into my home and start reading my books.
Having a wonderful time at the asylum. The drugs are much better than NuttyFish's. And the people are charming. There is a big croquet championship on the front lawn today. I hope that they guy who thinks he's Napoleon doesn't act up again if he loses. Sore loser.
I have been good and thus far avoided being taken to the dreaded "13th floor." I have seen several troublemakers vanish in my time here. None have returned.
Dr. Mengele is waving me over. It's time for the competition to begin. The winner get's a get out of shock treatment free card. I hope I win.
I have been good and thus far avoided being taken to the dreaded "13th floor." I have seen several troublemakers vanish in my time here. None have returned.
Dr. Mengele is waving me over. It's time for the competition to begin. The winner get's a get out of shock treatment free card. I hope I win.
I must have passed out on poo gasses. A week went by and I can't remember anything. The last thing I remember was laughing about this big cat licking up some scirum. And then his intestines turned into a liquid poo rocket exhaust! That was the funniest thing I saw. I still had to laugh.
Apparently it had rained or something because most of the tiger faeces had disappeared from my the outside of my hut. I cleaned what was left with the occasional vomit fit.
That made me all sweaty and thirsty. I opened a bottle of scirum and placed it to my mouth. THAT tastes GOOooood.
Wait...I never made a new batch of scirum. SHIT...
I ran to the public toilets leaving a trail of faeces. I wish I had taken a book with me, because I would spend the next 6 hours there.
Apparently it had rained or something because most of the tiger faeces had disappeared from my the outside of my hut. I cleaned what was left with the occasional vomit fit.
That made me all sweaty and thirsty. I opened a bottle of scirum and placed it to my mouth. THAT tastes GOOooood.
Wait...I never made a new batch of scirum. SHIT...
I ran to the public toilets leaving a trail of faeces. I wish I had taken a book with me, because I would spend the next 6 hours there.
Good news. I won the croquet competition. Beat the shit out of Napoleon. He threw a fit as usual. He tried to bludgeon me with the croquet mallet. We had a rousing duel with our mallets before the security guards tackled us to the ground and shot us full of sweet drug goodness.
Hazy Darkness...
I come to in a small cell. Hey, this isn't my room. Where am I? As my eyes begin to focus, I realize that this is the shock treatment room. The orderly stands behind me with electrodes in hand, preparing to begin the treatment. "Mmmm...MPhhm Uhmm mPhhmm" I struggle to say around the gag and breathing tube in my throat. My hands are strapped down, but I manage to fish one hand into a pocket and pull out my "get out of shock treatment free" card. "MMphh... UUMMMPHHH!!" I gesticulate madly. Finally, the orderly looks at my hand, a sullen look in his eye.
"Fine you crazy fuck." He says, "I'll get you next time. You can't win the competition every day." He unstraps me from the table and lets me go on my way. I notice Napoleon strapped to a table near where I was. As I leave the room, the orderly applies the electrodes to his skull and turns the power up to max. The lights flicker and Napoleon twitches fiercely.
Whew. Glad I got out of that one. Now, back to the main hall. Nobody better be in favorite chair...
Hazy Darkness...
I come to in a small cell. Hey, this isn't my room. Where am I? As my eyes begin to focus, I realize that this is the shock treatment room. The orderly stands behind me with electrodes in hand, preparing to begin the treatment. "Mmmm...MPhhm Uhmm mPhhmm" I struggle to say around the gag and breathing tube in my throat. My hands are strapped down, but I manage to fish one hand into a pocket and pull out my "get out of shock treatment free" card. "MMphh... UUMMMPHHH!!" I gesticulate madly. Finally, the orderly looks at my hand, a sullen look in his eye.
"Fine you crazy fuck." He says, "I'll get you next time. You can't win the competition every day." He unstraps me from the table and lets me go on my way. I notice Napoleon strapped to a table near where I was. As I leave the room, the orderly applies the electrodes to his skull and turns the power up to max. The lights flicker and Napoleon twitches fiercely.
Whew. Glad I got out of that one. Now, back to the main hall. Nobody better be in favorite chair...
ILikeSalt, the Deity converts invert_nexus' chair into a heap of crap.
Strangest thing happened. When I got back to the main hall, my chair was nowhere to be seen. But, the rest of the loonies were having a grand game of shit flinging. I don't know where all the shit came from. There seemed to be more than any one person could have made at one time, so unless everyone in the hall decided to bring their shit to play with today... ? Hmm. Our resident "deity", ILikeSalt, was lording it over the rest of the nuts. Saying things like "BEHOLD, I HAVE BROUGHT FORTH THE MIGHTY SHIT. WORSHIP ME FOR I AM A GOD. I LIKE THIS WORLD! I BE A GOD HERE!" Several of the loonies seemed intent on worshipping her. They were sitting knee deep in piles of shit and groveling before her. I think some were even eating it. *ick*
Well, shit play was never my thing, so I figured I'd wander the halls for a while.
The orderlies were busy taking care of the mayhem in the main hall, and I was allowed to wander quite far. I found myself deep in the asylum. To a hall I'd never before seen. It seemed that not too many people came this way. The dust was quite thick. There were several tracks of footprints on the floor however. Fresh tracks. I followed them.
A shadowy hall. A dark door. A flickering light from the crack beneath the door. Is that blood that I smell? And bile? The hackles on the back of neck rise. Maybe I should have stayed in the main hall.
A sound behind me alerts me to their presence an instant before...
Darkness.
Well, shit play was never my thing, so I figured I'd wander the halls for a while.
The orderlies were busy taking care of the mayhem in the main hall, and I was allowed to wander quite far. I found myself deep in the asylum. To a hall I'd never before seen. It seemed that not too many people came this way. The dust was quite thick. There were several tracks of footprints on the floor however. Fresh tracks. I followed them.
A shadowy hall. A dark door. A flickering light from the crack beneath the door. Is that blood that I smell? And bile? The hackles on the back of neck rise. Maybe I should have stayed in the main hall.
A sound behind me alerts me to their presence an instant before...
Darkness.
I threw away my 'poo' scirum in the little stream that leads to the waterfall.
I imagine it should get diluted enough not to have an effect anymore downstream...or maybe not.
I imagine it should get diluted enough not to have an effect anymore downstream...or maybe not.
I think Nuttyfish will have a "good" time since he lives around there...
With nothing better to do I stalked spuriousmonkey around the forest the entire morning, he seemed quite distracted as he walked true the forest, stopping several times for a drink from the bottles in his bag, but each time, just before putting the bottle to his lips, he would curse to himself and put the bottle back in the bag and move on. Finally he stopped at a small stream, where he started to empty the bottles 1 at a time, before sending the bottle the sameway.
Watching the bottles float down the stream, bopping in the water, i began to like this new game, thinking i could play along, I stepped out of the forest on the opposite side of the river. Here I found a large rock, which, after a little work I manage to push in to the stream, as it hit the water it gave a huge splash, but much unlike spuriuosmonkeys bottles my rock did not float.
Disappointed with my non-floating rock, I jumped across the stream, for a better look at how spuriousmonkey made his "rocks" float. After carefully studying spuriousmonkeys throwing skill, I came to the conclusion that it was the monkey himself that caused the bottles to float. With that in mind I started to push spuriousmaonkey towards the water using my head, harder and harder i bumped in to him, until he finally tripped and fell in to the water.
But spuriousmonkey did not float...
(fish swim around there own shit anyway)
Watching the bottles float down the stream, bopping in the water, i began to like this new game, thinking i could play along, I stepped out of the forest on the opposite side of the river. Here I found a large rock, which, after a little work I manage to push in to the stream, as it hit the water it gave a huge splash, but much unlike spuriuosmonkeys bottles my rock did not float.
Disappointed with my non-floating rock, I jumped across the stream, for a better look at how spuriousmonkey made his "rocks" float. After carefully studying spuriousmonkeys throwing skill, I came to the conclusion that it was the monkey himself that caused the bottles to float. With that in mind I started to push spuriousmaonkey towards the water using my head, harder and harder i bumped in to him, until he finally tripped and fell in to the water.
But spuriousmonkey did not float...
(fish swim around there own shit anyway
)good damn that tiger. It must be going mental or something. I suspect that there are no female tigers around and there is a lot of sexual energy locked up in his system. That made its brain melt. Now it is just doing weird things.
I was emptying my bottles in the stream in a peaceful manner which was bothering no one when I saw the tiger push rocks into the stream. I started laughing loudly. That must have annoying it or something because it started pushing me into the stream.
I couldn't help swallowing some of the water. Guess what? The scirum wasn't diluted enough. It still gave me an enormous case of diarrhea! But I didn't want to shit in the stream. An enormous pressure was building up in my butt.
I was still under water. An enormous eruptive explosion emanated from my ass. The pressure pushed me through the water with great speed. This was enough to send me flying (well..flying?) downstream and I reached the waterfalls in no time. I made a beautiful arch from the top of the waterfall to the muddy shore below, landing face down in the mudd.
I managed to get my head out of the mudd, wiped the mudd from my eyes and started looking for the nearest toilet or tree, whatever was closest.
I was emptying my bottles in the stream in a peaceful manner which was bothering no one when I saw the tiger push rocks into the stream. I started laughing loudly. That must have annoying it or something because it started pushing me into the stream.
I couldn't help swallowing some of the water. Guess what? The scirum wasn't diluted enough. It still gave me an enormous case of diarrhea! But I didn't want to shit in the stream. An enormous pressure was building up in my butt.
I was still under water. An enormous eruptive explosion emanated from my ass. The pressure pushed me through the water with great speed. This was enough to send me flying (well..flying?) downstream and I reached the waterfalls in no time. I made a beautiful arch from the top of the waterfall to the muddy shore below, landing face down in the mudd.
I managed to get my head out of the mudd, wiped the mudd from my eyes and started looking for the nearest toilet or tree, whatever was closest.
(LOL)
looking down into the water, I could see spuriousmankey sitting on the bottom looking back at me, he looked funny distorted by the waters and holding his breath. Just as i was about to poke him with my paw, spuriousmankey shot true the water, doing an underwater superman, all i could do was look on bug eyed, then run as the gas came bubbling to the surface.
Back in the forest, I found Dreamwalker reading a book "Become Indiana Jones in 21 day" while practicing with a whip. He was pleased with a audience and eager to show off his new skills, starting with his whip.
His first target, was a large bush standing no more then a few meters away, again and again he tries to hit it, missing everytime and only succeeding in hitting himself on his arms and legs, even his back got a nick or 2.
While watching Dreamwalker whip himself I saw another book lying on a trunk, it was a cook book, on the front there was a huge juice steak, it looked tasty so I ate it. It was a bit dry and could have used some salt.
(lol, for the women: How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Professional Dog Trainers)
looking down into the water, I could see spuriousmankey sitting on the bottom looking back at me, he looked funny distorted by the waters and holding his breath. Just as i was about to poke him with my paw, spuriousmankey shot true the water, doing an underwater superman, all i could do was look on bug eyed, then run as the gas came bubbling to the surface.
Back in the forest, I found Dreamwalker reading a book "Become Indiana Jones in 21 day" while practicing with a whip. He was pleased with a audience and eager to show off his new skills, starting with his whip.
His first target, was a large bush standing no more then a few meters away, again and again he tries to hit it, missing everytime and only succeeding in hitting himself on his arms and legs, even his back got a nick or 2.
While watching Dreamwalker whip himself I saw another book lying on a trunk, it was a cook book, on the front there was a huge juice steak, it looked tasty so I ate it. It was a bit dry and could have used some salt.
(lol, for the women: How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Professional Dog Trainers)
Damn, these instructions are not that helpful, stupid whip. How is this supposed to work? Well, I think I´ll use another target, that branch on the tree looks good....
*some hours of training and a big amount of pain later*
Ah, finally! I can use this goddamn whip. Oh, nightfall draws near, I´ll better go home and read some more history books. Tomorrow I am going to visit Invert Nexus in the mental facility.
*some hours of training and a big amount of pain later*
Ah, finally! I can use this goddamn whip. Oh, nightfall draws near, I´ll better go home and read some more history books. Tomorrow I am going to visit Invert Nexus in the mental facility.
Well, today I wanted to visit Invert, but when I reached the mental institute where he resides momentarily, I was told that he is no longer there. Now that is a surprise, since he should be there, otherwise we surely would have heard of his release. This strikes me as strange, but further questioning only gained me a rough rendez-vous with two of the strong wardens this institute sports. They escorted me to the exit in a not so charming way...
Sitting in my luxury penthouse suite, I was toying with the idea of sending a cruise missile at the asylum where Invert was. The co-ordinates were all keyed in, all that was necessary was a push of the Big Red Button. I doubt it would do much damage, unless it hit something important, it was only a hamster cruise missile after all. Jst then, my ponderings were interupted by the sounds of Fay Ray giving birth from the other room. Oh shit. I ran to her side, but on the way I pressed the Big Red Button. Ooops. Never mind that, Fay's more important, besides it wont do any damage unless it hits something important.
After days of electroshock therapy and barium enemas, the doctors told me that I was fit to once again enter the main ward and socialize with the nonviolent patients again. I don't remember much from before the treatment. I think I was a construction worker in some strange village with talking tigers and drunk monkeys and dancing elephants and girls with sexy blue feet and revolutionary hamsters and insane psychiatrist fish and many others. But, the doctors tell me not to think about these things. That they are all delusion. That when I no longer believe that these things were real that I will be well. I want to be well. That's all I want. To be well. To be well.
To be well.
To be well.
To be well again.
To be something something again.
Murmur murmur. Cantelope watermelon. Watermelon cantelope.
Why are there shitstains on the walls?
Where did my chair go?
To be well.
To be well.
To be well again.
To be something something again.
Murmur murmur. Cantelope watermelon. Watermelon cantelope.
Why are there shitstains on the walls?
Where did my chair go?
I never found my chair. So I started saving up my fecal waste to sculpt a new one. I don't think it will take long. The food here is high in fiber and pooptastic. I think I'll call it Mabel. And then I'll rub up against it until I no longer remember the horrible things that happened in the back room. That horrible smell of ozone. Those eyes staring at me from the darkness. The cries of teke-li-li.
-----
Later that day?
Someone came to visit. They said his name was DreamWalker something. He was a large hairy man. He came and sat beside me. I thought he wanted to steal my hoard of feces but he assured me that such was not his intention.
He was a strange man. So prim and proper despite his barbaric appearance. He even stuck his pinkies out when he drank his tea.
He looked sad for some reason. I wonder why.
I felt bad for him. As he got up to leave, I reached down and gathered up a handful of feces. I was embarassed to merely give it to him as I had made such a big deal out of it earlier, so I slyly placed it in the pocket of his jacket where he would find it later.
I can imagine the gleeful look on his face when he finds it.
I like making people happy.
I wonder when I will be well.
Med time!!
-----
Later that day?
Someone came to visit. They said his name was DreamWalker something. He was a large hairy man. He came and sat beside me. I thought he wanted to steal my hoard of feces but he assured me that such was not his intention.
He was a strange man. So prim and proper despite his barbaric appearance. He even stuck his pinkies out when he drank his tea.
He looked sad for some reason. I wonder why.
I felt bad for him. As he got up to leave, I reached down and gathered up a handful of feces. I was embarassed to merely give it to him as I had made such a big deal out of it earlier, so I slyly placed it in the pocket of his jacket where he would find it later.
I can imagine the gleeful look on his face when he finds it.
I like making people happy.
I wonder when I will be well.
Med time!!