Scivillage

*Crawls back in hole*

I got it: you guys better shut up or I’ll get Proud Muslim the pump sewage in reverse and fill your houses with your own excrement.
 
meanwhile, the comham was gnawing at the stalk of a tv that was growing on the tv tree. it fell off. with considerable difficulty, the comham put the tv in his cheek pouch, which was difficult because the tv was about 50 times bigger than him. he waddled off to the farm, to see if there was anywhere he could plug it in.
 
(How dare you bring me back to life so blithely... :p I didn't even have a decent funeral, a soulful eulogy, a wonderful monument to my greatness... I was also imagining the possibilities of fighting my way up from hell to be once more with my darling Blue. ;) Ah well, of such things Scivillage is made. I am disappointed that Sexy Blue didn't post after my demise. Did my brief foray into a faerie wonderland drive her away? :()

(Oh, and as to a bird of prey so easily dealing with a full-grown tiger being weird. That was the point. I still get a chuckle envisioning it. Did you know that there is an akkido technique called the eagle's claw? It is reaching up under someone's rib cage and grasping their ribs. It is extremely painful, I assure you. Akkido is the martial art to learn if you want to make someone look like a bitch. It is all about submission holds and pressure points. I had a video of little old man, about 4 feet tall, being attacked by student after student. Each student was dealt with quickly and easily. Each student was made to look the bitch. Submission holds can be devastating to one's morale.

I did have a thought as to how to deal with the tiger in another way, choking on my feathers (perhaps that was your original intent) but, alas I didn't conceive of it until just yesterday. A day late and a dollar short as they say.)
 
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("How dare you bring me back to life so blithely..." lol my first thougth making it was actually his escaping to death that easly, hell no. then the last part with me and bossman came on.)

(The endings of my crappy parts are often open, what way people chooses to close them is up to them, your way just made a responce difficult for me, so i ended up taking the easyway out, no reply :(.
The ending where Bossman heals you is also semi open. Does he heal you fully?, Do you go into shock/coma?, I left you unconsious.)

(The reason the bird thing was wierd, is because I think im trying to maintain a few remaning links to reality regarding my tiger, hmm I do this in a fantasy thread without rules, go figur. I can see why its funny for you, Comham moving things in his mouth is funny for me to.)
 
Upon reaching the farm, i plugged the tv in, but to my horror the only thing on was JML TV! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!! Quickly thinking, I grabbed the farmers gun and blew the tv to bits, otherwise jml tv would have caused a temporal warp in the space time continuum. Phew, i thought, good thing nobody else is going to get a tv from the tree and plug it in, for a party or something. that would be disastrous. anything could happen
 
I open my eyes blearily. All is quiet except for the agonized cries of a crazed hamster from far away. Where is everybody? Am I dead? Is this the spirit world?

I find the organ grinder by my side. Hmm. I pick it up and experimentally start to crank the handle. From the sky descends my new servant. Dancing. Dancing.
 
Do you still need and elephant? Just asking, cause the matriarch elephant is just where I bound her. Decide, before the elephant brakes loose and I have to go hunt her again. :)
 
Ahh, Dreamwalker snaps me from my reverie. The dancing of my servant is really quite captivating. I guess the village isn't completely abandoned after all.

"Of course, assuming that Flossie hasn't run off with the herd. And I'll get started on your house right away. Thank you sir."
 
I run to the still present elephant herd and grab the rope I have put around the matriarch, this is a fine animal. But everytime I try to lead it away, the rest of the animals follow...that´s not good. Looks like I have to get another one. I do not think that I can convince the matriarch to give up her position. I look at the other elephants and find a female that is nearly as big as the lead animal. I put a rope around her and try to lead her away, after a few moments she follows me... and the matriarch seems to accept it. I tell her to leave, and after a few moments she does. The matriarch and the rest of the herd walk back into the jungle from where they came, and I stay behind with the newly aquired elephant. Time to head back to Invert Nexus.
 
(Good call... If I had to feed the whole herd, I'd never get any work done... :p)

After my conversation with Dreamwalker, I head home to see if Flossie is still around my servant in tow. Yup, Flossie's still there. Looks like he was sleeping the whole time. I breathe a sigh of relief and run my hands through my glorious mane of long luxuriant hair... What?! Bald? "Aaargghhhhhh!!!!!!!! KUNAX!!!!!!!!!" My cry resounds throughout the pleasant sleepy valley.

I noticed that the town, while it survived the assault, has been greatly damaged. I'm going to be busy repairing structures. Gratis, of course, since it was my fault. But, that can wait til the morrow. I've had a tough day, and I could use some rest.

I feed Flossie and head upstairs. Luckily, my house being built 30 feet up on a cliff, it sustained absolutely no damage from the elephant attacks. Funny how things work out. :D

When I open the door, I see Sexy Blue lying in a heap on the floor. A bottle of sleeping tablets by her outstretched hand. She looks as though she's been crying. "Blue!!" I cry as I run towards her. "No! Blue! Wake up!" I shake her and try to walk her about the room, but it's no use, she's in a coma. I can't wake her. Despondent, I place her in my bed and try to make her comfortable. How could this have come to pass? I ask myself, Why?!

(By the way, I got a note from Blue that she may not be around for a bit, so I thought this might be a nice dramatic way to work it in. She can awaken whenever she likes, and until then, I will care for her as dotingly as I am able. I briefly considered having her dead and going to hell to fetch her back. But, sounds like too much trouble after all we've been through.)

I set up a makeshift bed on the floor and start to drift into sleep. Just as I am about to go under, I hear a deep bass rumble and odd, juicy sounds. I go out to the balcony to see what the hell's happening now. I see that Dreamwalker has brought a foxy elephant maid for Flossie and Flossie is busily working out his libido. Awww, he looks so happy...

Dreamwalker sees me leaning over the balcony and gives me a big thumbs up and a huge grin. "Thanks, Dreamwalker! I'll start working on the plans for your house tomorrow." I didn't have the heart or the strength to tell him of Blue's condition. I'll fill him in tomorrow. First, I have to get some sleep.
 
Morning... Golden light filters in from outside... I think it's going to be a beautiful day... I rise and see Blue lying peacefully in my bed. Argh, I had almost forgotten about the tragedy... I clean her up and change the sheets. Poor girl... I mash up some bananas and carrots and try to feed her. I have to rub her throat to induce the swallowing reflex. I carry her out to her favorite rock so she might get some sun. I command my servant to care for her. To make sure that nothing harms her. And to roll her over every now and again so she will tan evenly.

After I finish this, I go to check on my elephants. Flossie is curled up with his new girlfriend in a loving embrace, a satisfied look on his face. I gather some food for them and place it nearby for when they wake up from their lovers' sleep.

Next, I go gather materials to construct a wheelchair for blue. This way I won't have to lug her about in an unladylike fashion. Next, I go into the forest to try to find a rubber tree. I have a feeling rubber sheets might be in order. I'm not medically trained and won't even consider a catheter tube or a colostomy bag. It's a good thing I've got my ape-man servant. I will preserve her dignity by training my servant to care for her. Or maybe I'll take back my robot from Spurious (seeing as how he's out of town for a bit) and train him to do it. Yeah, that'd probably be better. I doubt if she'd want an ape-man anywhere near her privates. :p

After all this, I sit down besider her with my sketch pad in hand. I try to lose the sense of tragedy that pervades me by losing myself in designing a wonderful house for Dreamwalker.
 
Still in shock from my ordeal at the farm, I hamstered my way towards the town, and wandered into a hut. There I found a man with a sketchpad, lost in his drawing. He didn't notice me. On the bed next to him, there was a woman with attractive feet I dont know why i found them attractive, they weren't furry, just blue. I climbed onto the bed, and feeling tired from my walk from the farm, I curled up on the womans slowly rising and falling chest and fell asleep.
 
Deep within the forest, I had for several days been taking letters back and forth between Bossman and his girlfriend, A trip that usually should take no more then 4 hours back and forth(on foot), but there was so much to do and see along the way, that it always took me about a day, if not longer.
This soon had become to much for Bossman, so he tried to make me take a more direct routea and when that had faileded, Bossman had found a better cuirre, releasing me of my "job".

Returning to the village, walking around in the forest edge, i spotted the girl with the strangly attractive feet, being pushed around in a wheel chair by a monkey, in her lap she had a hamster with redish fur, all in all a normal day in the village.
 
You males ...argh....i dunno where even to start.....

I wake up on my favourite rock, which is not unusual. The unusual bit was that it wasn't attached to the pond. Mmmmm.......

I sit up suddenly, and wish i hadn't. Oh, head... Robot passed me a glass of water, which helped, and after a few minutes, i could walk around. All had come back to me, and it looks from here that all of scivillage is opperating well. I take that as a sign that all is well, and the bad guy got squished. Groovy.....

Deciding i need a holiday from paradise, i return to my hut and pack. I leave a note on my door for all to see, then i slip out a secret passageway i've built from my hut to the forest, and begin my journey.

" Dear All
Thankyou for your help in getting me better. I sincerly apologies for leaving like this, but i need to go. I will be back, though when, i do not know. Please watch my hut for me, and good luck to all."
 
(Aww, I tried to keep it clean. I didn't think about having to clean up after you until you were already unconscious. :p I just mentioned it and would let it happen in the background from here on in... You should at least thank me for not letting the ape-man clean you up. :D I knew you'd hate that. And I thought Communist Hamster curling up on your lap was rather cute. I bet it was just a prelude to innoculating you into Marxism, though. Anyways, hope you come back soon. Farewell, Blue. :) )
 
(hehe so Sexy Blue thought it best to move herself out of the stories, wonder why :))

With Sexy Blue out of the way, I took the chance to take over her former thrown by the lake(the sunbathing rock) and assume power over the lake.

Later on the day, the 2 elephants came down to drink of my lake, of cause I could not allow that to happen, so after much fierce growling and roaring I manage to chase them away, job well do i return to my rock.

Nexus must had see the event from his balcony high above, for soon after his robot army came marching down to road, armed to the teeth, it had a bamboo stick in each hand.
Not knowing what to do, I totally ignoring the robot, it had almost reach me when its left foot got stuck between the large boulders near the sunbathing rock. Now unable to move the robot was completly at my mercy, so the many following hours i tortured the poor robot, by using him as a scratching pole.
Strangely the close contact between us build up a lot of static in his circuits, making him say and do the weirdest things(robot is now a drug addict, addicted to static:bugeye:). Finally in the end, the robot cracked under the torture and joined my side, against the evil empire in the castle high above.
 
invert_nexus said:
(... You should at least thank me for not letting the ape-man clean you up. :D I knew you'd hate that.)
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Meh...Always these mistrusting people.:bugeye: Nah, I respect your interest in Sexy Blue... :p
 
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