Scivillage

As Grape Ape and I continued towards the village (long way apparently) a whole swarm of miniature helicopters and airplanes began swooping and diving about us. Grape Ape became enraged once more. He swung and bellowed and swatted with a vicious glee. Many of the miniature aircraft were knocked from the sky trailing smoke behind them. Red-furred hamsters bailing out and drifting to the ground by miniature parachutes.

Grape Ape began to climb a huge tree nearby. Stopping occasionally to swat at the pests. Strangely, about halfway up the tree (big tree obviously) we came across an alluring female hamster who had just stepped out of the bath. Grape Ape grabbed her between his fingernails and deposited her next to me on his shoulder. (I think I'll call her Fay Ray.) We reached the top of the tree and he gripped the tree with one hand and begin viciously swatting the varmints from the sky. Occasionally pounding on his chest and bellowing loudly.
 
[All units! Ignore the ape! Scour the lake for the wreckage of the cargo ships!] This was what awakened me, as I had forgotten to turn my radio off. Hearing this, I collected my temporary base and ran to the surface. Once on the surface I met a small team of hamsters who had also been knocked out of the sky We ran towards the lake, where we had hidden a small, secret attack boat under the cover of some bullrushes.
 
(how the hell is a bunch of psychotic hamsters in mini apache helicopters going to stop me? :confused: )
YAY!!! Surgery open for business! "Dr. Nuttyfish PhD BsC BeD DumB", written in big gold letters was engraved onto the sign outside the underwater offices. With a low-interest mortgage, a six-figure salary and a new submarine for all new recruits. Sign up now!! (Terms and conditions apply, not open for hamsters :D )

Outside in the surface world, tension was obviously rising. SCNN (Scivillage Cable News Network, for those on terrestrial television) was reporting ineffectual hamster militants raiding the area. Helicopters and kamikaze rodents were falling from the sky like dandruff from God's shoulders. The civilians, being the foolish, lesser minded people that they are, carried on life, oblivious to the impending doom about to set upon the Scivillage. The Apocalypse was coming. Even Nostradamus didn't see this one coming.

Immediately, I scrambled the newly reanimated Babelfish together. I had a small, specialist army, ready to take down any foes that stood in their way, their main objective to avenge my previous death and destroy the Communist Hamster. The Special Herring and Fish Tactics squad (S.H.A.F.T) was assembled in one sector, the band of negotiators in another, fluent in the primitive hamster speak (some Russian, some Spanish, mostly Xhosa). After a rivetting speech, I set them on their way. An anti-sea attack force began to assemble near the surface, but out of the reach of any hamster's arm length. The assault team readied their Ak-47s and Mk11 Pulse Rifles. My scout squadron looked through PSG-1 sniper rifles, surveying the area. Medics and engineers were on standby. The invasion had some force to reckon with. all forces were equipped with anti pneumonium/hypothermium suits, so no funny stuff :D .

The doctor sat back in his big, five-dollar leather chair, and waited...
 
We set off across the lake, but we were hardly started when bullets began zipping out of the water. We started dropping depth charges, and bits of zombie fish began flying out of the water. One of my comrades grabbed 2 AK47s and fired wildly into the water. There was a roar, as the CHU air force jets screamed overhead, dropping homing torpedoes and mines into the lake.
 
[Alpha, Bravo, Delta! Calling all airstrike units. Scour the lake!!] A quick and easy command. Within minutes, a moderate sized explosive was dropped on the lake surface, causing an explosion of such magnitude that even my trained Babelfish flinched in terror, even though they were underwater, safe from the blast.
 
The explosion ripped the boat to shreds, and flung us into the air. As we hit the water surface, some dead, most alive, We followed our training and took out our sea-doos and scuba gear, and proceeded down into the lake, armed with explosive spearguns
 
I wake up and look outside the window, wondering what causes this commotion. As I look towards the lake, I see a multitude of hamsters attacking the lake with helicopters and fighter planes. How peculiar, I have to go and take a closer look...
 
Reaching the bottom, we went toward a light in the distance. It appeared to be a kind of building. There was a plaque on it, informing us that it was a surgery, but not open for hamsters. Suddenly, we were under fire from zombie fish. They took down 3 of us (there are 12) before we blew them all into gobbets of fishy stuff. One of them sent me flying backwards intothe window of the surgery, which was handy because a torpedo from a CHU bomber had just annihilated my squad and the zombablefish.
Getting up, I saw a fish sitting in a black leather chair. It resembled the one that I had eaten that day on the lily. How strange that I should think of that at a time like this.
It turned to face me, and just as it was turning I noted that it had a label on its back, 'Made In Hell', Hmmmm.
"Who are you, and what does that big control panel covered with buttons and switches and lights do? Because i just pressed the BIG RED ONE that said 'please do not press this button under any circumstances', and i was wondering if anything bad would happen" I said to the fish in the chair.
 
In another room, the fish negotiators were frantically trying to reason with the hamster invaders over the low frequency radio, interupting Radio 666:

Negotiating Babelfish said:
Why...are you doing this? Why? Isn't the scivillage big enough for the both of us? What is wrong with you people? We could work together. Why be enemies? Because we're different? Is that why? Think of the things that we could do. Thank how strong we would be. Fish...and Hamsters...together. There is nothing that we could not accomplish. Think about it. Think about it. Why destroy when you can create? We can have it all. Or we can smash it all. Why can't we...work out our differences? Why can't we...work things out? Little people...why can't we all just...get along?
Click to expand...

At that point the hamsters sent out a high pitched sound that made the negotiators' heads vibrate sporadically, then explode, Scanners style.

The motherducking son of a Grape Ape pressed the button. Why did he do that? Why?
Why the hell did I put that there, anyway?

The satellite dish was rising from the bottom of the sea, despite the depth charges and torpedoes being constantly launched. It sent out a strange frequency to a fish-satellite orbiting the planet, its message was, "Destroy the village." The fish complied, launching their super-nuclear-zombie-brains-death-ray at the surface. "Seeya," they called, with a snicker :D .
 
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It was at this point that the cat's design was made clear (remember them?). As the death-ray began to blast across the surface, it's power was diverted into vast holding cells beneath the earth. The mighty engines beneath the ground churned with a mighty THRUMMM. Earthquakes once more rocked the landscape. I had built and reinforced existing huts with earthquake resistant building techniques, but the force of this mighty tremor was too much. All over the village huts collapsed. Rifts opened here and there in the earth. One of these rifts intersected with the pond. The pond immediately emptied as the water poured into this vast underground cavern. From some of the chasms rose mighty crystalline devices that were now fully charged with energy. A mighty vortex was formed in the air over the village. A furious wind sucked all within the village into this vortex. Stretching and mutilating all as the tidal forces overwhelmed them. A vast unblinking eye looked out of the vortex. A red eye rimmed with fire. The cats began to emerge from their slumber. But, these cats were armed to the teeth with death rays and plasma grenades. The carnage was devastating. Nothing within the village survived. All that was left was a charred smoking ruin.

Meanwhile, in the forest, Grape Ape and I were still on our way to the village when all this transpired. Luckily, I had my telescope with me and I trained it on the ruins of this fine village. How could this have happened? What was this madness?

"Grape Ape, do something!" Grape began to dance a little jig. "No damnit, save the village!" He scratched his ass and belched. Shit!

I pulled out the organ grinder and examined the buttons again. Which button? I chose one at random and started playing. Immediately grape ape stopped shuffling. He seemed to taking a deep breath. Drawing power from the very air about us. He stretched his arm up in some inconceivable dimension that boggled my mind and grasped the sun. He held the sun in his hands, somehow, some way. What the fuck? He then began to tug the sun. Backwards through the sky. As he did so, the horrible events in the village began to occur once more. This time in reverse. The cats withdrew into their underground lair. The lidless eye vanished. The ruins of the village fell to earth, formed together into huts. The crystals sank into the earth, the rifts sealed. The death ray was never fired. The hamster air force came buzzing by backwards and retreated to it's secret base. All was undone. And yet the memory of these horrid events remain.

The sun is rising. Barely peeking over the horizon. It might be a beautiful day in Scivillage.
 
While floating along on my lily, i saw a fish swimming in the water. I pondered for a moment whethere to eat it or not, but I decided not to, as I was watching my cholesterol levels. I chose a ration bar out of my pouch, and munched on it lazily, while wathing the fish swim.
 
What to do, what to do? Such a glorious day, such a warm glow. Shafts of splintered light shining through the clear water. A blob of pneumonium shampoo floated past my face, so I dived deeper, deeper, where the remains of some old Babelfish-thingies were rotting away. Maybe I would reanimate them one-day, with some LEDs. Nah, tthat's crazy, you'd have to be a scientist to figure out how to do that. Maybe another day.

I peeked a small glance above the surface. A fat hamster on a lily pond was eating a granola bar not too far from me, eyeing me with a lazy stare; the indefinite stare of a mannequin or a statue. Behind him I could see invert_nexus looking extremely chuffed with himself, as if he had ripped apart the space-time continuum or something crazy like that. Grape Ape was still dancing...still dancing. Stupid ape. Dreamwalker had left his home to glance around.

What a glorious day for psychiatry, I thought. All I needed was a few staffers and some kind of surgery place. An immense fish-tank, so that all the surface dwellers could be told just how totally psycho they are without drowning in murky water and pneumonium hair products. In some unknown part of my fishy mind, I recalled accepting a job application from Dudish Dude. Well, there's one, need more...

I retreated to the bottom of the lake to do some more scheming, happy that this is my 100th post. :D
 
Huh, strange feeling I have got. Perhaps it was a dream? I thought that all hell broke loose around here, felt like being in a war zone, paired with a small version of judgement day. I was nearly killed when my house collapsed, and I ran to my hiding place to get my most prized possesion, my AK47 that I have lugged through the jungle.
Well, perhaps it was a memory of my fighting times, when I killed people for causes of other people. But there were no hamsters and fish the last time I fought in the jungles...

I think I´ll go and get a refreshing bath in the pond...
 
I saw that with the reversal of time and a new start on events, the participants were not going to follow their previous war-like ways. I begin to ponder the significance of singular events in history. How all of history eventually comes down the decisions of an individual or a small group of individuals. After a while of diverting thought, my thoughts turn once more to Blue. I just can't get over her. Why did she leave with just a note? Why did she try to kill herself to begin with? Was it because she thought I was dead or was it something else? Argh! These thoughts are too much for me. It's driving me crazy. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist. I wonder how long it will be before NuttyFish get's his clinic up and running? I could help him build it in return for some therapy. Quid pro quo...
 
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Exams are finished!!! Exams are finished!!! Exams are finished!!! Exams are finished!!! Exams are finished!!!

I"M BACK!!!
#/

I walked back to the village after my holiday, noticing some new faces, and a smell of burnt fur and nuts. How perticular. I say hey to nex, but he's starring at the ape-man as though the world was about to fall apart. Sometimes i worry about him.
 
(Damn, and I had just come up with the perfect new backstory for my character... Ah, just had the perfect thought.)

As I was thinking about seeing a shrink, Sexy Blue walked up to me and says "Hey." I look up at her and my melancholy is transfigured into rapture and glee.

"You're back! I was so worried! I thought..."

Wait. This can't be real. It's all just a figment of my imagination. This clinches it. I'm ready for the nuthatch. Why God?! Why did you do this to me?! You gave me the perfect woman and then snatched her away from me... Maybe I should kill myself...

I remember that I have a nice sharp knife at my house. Or maybe I should order Grape Ape to smash me to a pulp. Arrghh! Too many choices. I don't know which one to pick.

I break down into tears and collapse to the ground in a helpless heap.
 
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