Scivillage

SpuriousMonkey:

WTF!!! You come back after boycotting this thread for a month, and your first action is to throw out everything I've written since I began contributing to this thread? Am I not supposed to take offense to this? What would you do if someone did that to you? Oh yeah, WellCookedFetus did far less and you threw a fit and left.

I was happy that you were going to come back. Your posts add levity that I am unable to create. It's not my style. But then you just come in here and say fuck you. Let's hit the reset button and start over to where it was when I left.

Fuck that. I'm calling foul here, buddy. Ever heard of working with the rules?

Maybe you didn't have the time to read the posts you missed out on, so assumed that I'm trying to destroy this place like WCF was. If so, you're wrong. The situation isn't nearly as complicated as it seems. I could break it down for you if you want.

I have attempted to put some hardships into the village to try and spur people to actually do something. I was thinking that scirum just might be what we need to solve some of the problems that we've been experiencing. But, instead you just give me a big fuck you.

How about if I write this:
SpuriousMonkey has spent the past month hiding in terror from the mutant fetus that invaded the tranquility of his former home. He had a large cache of scirum with which to satisfy his alcohol addiction. Eventually, a time came when he ran out and was forced to return to scivillage. He was shaking badly and experiencing dt's from alcohol withdrawal. When he arrived back at his hut, he found nothing but black sooty stumps underneath a few inches of water. With no source for more scirum, he promptly went mad. He began to hallucinate that everyone was hallucinating, that his home still stood, that his still was still capable of producing his precious drug. He sat down in his damp kingdom and began to fantasize a big batch of scirum and a barbecue.

Look man, I would like it if you stayed. Scivillage needs more than a construction worker and a tiger running around. I think Padma has left. Too bad, I guess the cannibals chased her off after all. Come back, Padma!!! And JadedFlower just hops in every now and again with a few lines, not really taking part.

I would prefer it if you rescinded your former statement and rejoined the community wllingly. As I said, I could recap the situation if you don't have the motivation to catch up.

Don't be an asshole, SpuriousMonkey. Right now, you're guilty of a far greater crime than WCF ever tried to commit in here.

(By the way, it was Ozymandias and not Persol who was trapped in the cave with Coolskill.)
 
It has been days since I have seen any familiar landmarks to guide me back to the lean-to that I share with Nexus. I became lost after the evil leader of the cannibal tribe found me while I hunted. The monstrous thing must have chased me for the better part of an hour before I lost it. I have been wondering for days. I’m sick and hungry. I lost my bow and quiver of arrows while being chased. I am tired, I think I hear voices but it could be my mind playing tricks again or the low rumble of my stomach. Fear paralyzes me dead in my tracks as I approach a figure from behind. I can’t make out whom this could be so I assume the worst…is it the cannibal X? Out of fear I pass out of consciousness. There is no fear now. I want to stay like this, in the dark, in the quiet, in the safety of my unconscious mind.
 
invert_nexus said:
SpuriousMonkey:

WTF!!! You come back after boycotting this thread for a month, and your first action is to throw out everything I've written since I began contributing to this thread?
Click to expand...


Since when do you have to pay attention to what I write?

Drama queen.
 
(Invert_Nexus, perhaps there a more then 1 storie line in this thread, i douth monkeyboy is out to destroy you storie, his just starting a path of his own
RL is taking to much time, be back later)
 
SpuriousMonkey,
That's the point, I do want to pay attention to what you write. You posted some funny shit in here before. I even said to myself several times when nothing was going on in here, "I wish SpuriousMonkey would come back." The Fetus left almost as soon as you did.

And I certainly don't mind you putting in your own storyline, that's the point of this thread. In fact, most of the little twists that I threw in were actually built upon things other people had contributed (Coolskill's electric plant, homonculous, and talking fish, Kunax's cat, the shit that covered everything on my arrival.) It's just that what you wrote basically said that mine was gone. It was all a mushroom dream.

I'm not trying to be an asshole here, I apologize if I reacted too strongly. But seriously, you should be able to see that your post was kinda tellin' me to just shut up.

I'm not trying to be a primadonna here and saying that I own this thread or anything like that. I've enjoyed posting in here and would like to continue. I would also enjoy your contribution, as I'm sure would others (my storytelling is short on humor). Just don't shit on me like that. You didn't like it when WCF shit on your story, and all he did was try to kill a few people.

(Take note, that I broached no complaints when you originally posted that your house still stood and your still was operational at first. I was going to let you slide. Disregarding such a small portion of what had gone before was fine.)

And I don't mean this to be bitchy or antagonistic, if it comes off that way I'm sorry.

C'mon bro, scivillage needs you. Coolskill may have banned himself, but Ozymandias is an innocent bystander. He should be rescued by all means. Surely you can come up with a way to use your scirum to help us out. And my offer to recap was sincere, if you don't want to catch up. Most of my posts were just hooks to build upon if so desired. Only a few definites have been established. And the cat might be lying. ;)
 
Diary of Sexy Blue

After waking from a unsettled dream, i feel a few moments of confusion before the reminants of yesterday became clear. I struggled to my feet, dusting off the sand from my legs and clothes, and examine my new found home. The hut was simple in design, but sturdy and with an unowned look. he he he he
I lay a few items from my backpack and clothing to dry, and change into my usual singlet top and skirt combo, and wondered around the town. Seeing noone, i felt out of place, as if i had fallen into limbo. Signs of civilisation were apparent. a burnt patch of grass, a mistreated farm, bathroom facilities, a cafateria------ FOOODDD!!!
With a sudden udge to eat, i made my way there, to find it unused, but well stocked. After collecting a few bits and pieces, i made my way to the waterfall, where i take a quick dip and lay on a stone, to wonder the mystories of my current predicament. Also to wonder where the hell is everybody ?????????
Someone find me......
I feel as though in an unreal limbo......
 
I awoke to a glorious sunrise. The birds were singing and a delicate rainbow shimmered in the mist thrown up by the waterfall. I had chosen a truly glorious spot for my home. I hoped that time would permit me to start building it someday. Sleeping in this lean-to is hell on my back.

I could see rubble strewn about the cliffside and great smoking rents split the earth in the distance. But for now, there were no earthquakes and everything was fine, just fine.

I groaned as I stretched, my back cracking loudly. I still felt tingly from the encounter of the previous night. I did my business in my fine outhouse and proceeded to the pool to wash up.

As I approached the pool, I caught a glimpse of someone sunning themself on the rocks by the pool. I couldn't make out much, she (he?) was too far away. All I could see was blue feet. The sexiest blue feet I had ever seen in my life. I stopped in my tracks, stunned by this vision of beauty.

I thought that if I only had a camera, I could probably make this person a world famous foot model. There were no heights of fame that these sexy blue feet couldn't attain. (I sure hope you're female; but even if you're a dude, you still got some sexy feet. :p)

I felt the ground began to shake about me. What was this? Another earthquake ruining this perfect moment? No, it was an elephant chasing Kunax from the forest. Cat clung to Kunax's back like a cowboy on a horse. Kunax looked exhausted, had he been chased all night? They say that an elephant never forgets.

Kunax spotted me and veered towards me. The elephant right behind. Shit, what to do? Good thing I just came out of the bathroom or I might have soiled myself. They were getting closer. I could feel my gut begin to shake from the elephant's low-pitched thrum. I began to turn to run...
 
Dear Diary.
The ground was shaking when i awoke, and with a startle, i was on my feet, staring at a elephant chasing ... something or someone. From here, staring into the sun, i could not see. What i could see was a man running towards me. What is going on????
The next thing i know, i slip on a patch, and fall into the pool.Swimming to surface, my view of the scene was hidden from me, but i still felt the rumbling.
 
Recovering from the slight shock of cold water after a nap, i swam to the edge to the pool, tearing my skirt in the process. Not impressed. It was my favourite one. As i only arrived here to this strange land with only vague memories of a past, my pocessions have become precious to me, almost more part of me than the vague snippets of my past that occationally flicker through my mind. I grappled onto the stone of the pool, but did not climb up, as reasoning deduced that the elephant would not, in all probability, fancy a swim at this current moment. However, reasoning also deduced that those running from the elephant might. This second reasoning conviced me to climb unto the ledge below the rock that i was sleeping on. From here, i watched the scene unfold in the area beyond.....
 
I pour all my energies into a mad dash towards the pool. If I can only reach it, I'm sure I will be able to hide from the enraged elephant in the various crevices from the rockfall.

Kunax being able to run much faster than I, quickly overtakes me. Kunax barely spares me a glance as he passes by, but Cat looks straight at me and yowls, "Do something!"

I thought I was doing something, running for my life; but evidently, that wasn't good enough for Cat.

I hear (and feel) the elephant drawing ever nearer. It seems that elephants can run faster than me, as well. The fish in my ear begins to translate the elephant's cries into language I can understand, "I'll get you, come back here little cat!"

Just when I think I am about to be trampled by the elephant, I feel something encircle my waist and lift me off the ground. The elephant had me by the trunk. I was being thrown about like a rag doll. Finally, he tosses me up in the air; evidently, he was tired of me already.

I watched the ground recede below me and I felt an eerie calm come over me. I saw Kunax reach the edge of the pool and dive into the water, swimming madly for the far side. For some reason, I thought I smelt a barbecue.

Then, I reached the top of my climb and began to descend once more. Directly towards the elephant's back. I landed hard, but still managed to maintain my grip.

The elephant seemed rather unhappy with this set of circumstances and immediately began attempts to throw me off. Lurching this way and that, bucking (as much as an elephant can), picking up stones from the ground with it's trunk and flinging them at me. But, I held on for dear life, and nothing the elephant could do would dislodge me from my perch.

Eventually, the beast subsided. It calmed and began to amble peaceably about the gnoll. I found that I could direct the elephant with a gentle nudge from knees and the cry of "Yah, Simba!" I began to feel rather confident with my position and even attempted to make the elephant rear with a cry of "Hi-ho Silver, Away!" Bad mistake, my grip was looser now that fear no longer consumed me. I slipped and fell to the ground. The breath was knocked out of me and I gasped for air.

When I came to, I was laying face down in the grass. I raised my head and saw those feet. Those sexy blue feet. Blue as a smurf, as though the owner had just stepped out of a vat of blueberries. Cat was purring and rubbing himself against the legs to which the feet were attached, as cats are wont to do. "I knew you wouldn't let me down," said Cat.

I gasped for air and struggled to rise to my feet.
 
With what must have been the longest jump i made in a long time, me and Cat escapes the inrage Elephant, behind us I heard Nexus shout, we turned around just in time to see Nexus land on the back of elefant, which start a mysterius dance to throw him off.

From the safty of the water we watch Nexus play around with the elephant until it finally throw him off and disapperd in to the forest.
Excausted and tired we made it back to the shore, where cat immidiatly jump of to examine our new guest, myself i collapses in the shallow water tired and overheating from the long run, tigers are not suppose to run for long.
 
Sudden a the earth was quaking again, it was a minor quake but still strong enough to shake us all around. using a rock for support, i was standing with my front and back legs on each side of it while resting my body on top of it to keep my balance, for some reason i started moaning, the vibrations in the rock made the sound oscillating in the most peculiar way, Cat some got the idea and join in the fun, soon we had our own little duo of cat wailing quake style, trying to get louder all the time.

Finally the quake settled down, it had not been the most powerful quake, but had lasted quite long for a quake, at its peak the water in the center of the lake was bobbling furiously as if something was rising from the depths, but that to had settled down, now the lake looked like nothing had happened, only if you had seen it would you even know it been there.
 
Diary of sexy blue
I cannot believe what my eyes are telling me. Some guy just jumped ONTO the elephant. Half the scene was lost to me, but still, THIS CANNOT HAPPEN!!! At least that's what reasoning was telling me. I decided to ditch reasoning and drag the guy to safety. He was half onto his feet when the earth rumbled under us all. The cat, and the tiger, of all things, were wailing as though the world was ending. Looking out for the elephant, i half dragged, half helped the stranger to the ledge to which i was resting on, but on the second thought, decided it better a few meters from the ledge in case of another quake.
What a percular predicament i had found myself in.... Soaked, bagless (during the quake it had fallen into the lagoon) and holding onto a complete stranger. However, as strangers go, this one was cute enough to hold onto for a lil longer ;-).......... (yes, i'm a chick, just hoping you're not)
After a moment or two i recovered myself and let go of him, and took a few steps back. My brain was empty, and all i could think of was to say "hi".
 
The last vestige vestige of the earthquake had at last faded away to nothingness. Sexy Blue had helped me to my feet, and held me quite close for a moment. (whew, getting hot in here?) Tiger and Cat ceased their ululating cry. All was quiet once more.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Sexy Blue introduced herself shyly. She complimented me on my elephant riding skills. I complimented her on her feet. She explained to me about her amnesia, I eplained to her about the mystery in the cave. Cat came over and explained to me that he was hungry and we should find something to eat.

Sexy Blue seemed confused when I began to talk to Cat. I realized that she needed a fish in her ear. I explained to her about the strange properties of the local fish. She looked at me as though I were a raving lunatic.

"Well, anyone who can ride an elephant like that can't be all bad," she says as I scoop a fish from the water and deposit it in her ear canal. A look of wonder transforms her features as Cat's caterwauling changes to a glorious song in her mind. (Sorry, I'm no poet or I'd put in a sample.)

With that out of the way, we could get down to business. The smell of a barbecue that I smelt earlier while in free-fall was even stronger now. I looked about and saw a column of smoke rising from the village. We followed our noses and soon came to the hut of SpuriousMonkey (saved from the drowning of the village because it was built on a low hill.) Someone had dug a firepit, hunted an Ox, and set the Ox to cook over the fire. We had arrived at just the right time, the meat had just reached the peak of deliciousness. There was a table heavily laden with vegatables and condiments. Whoever set this up really knows how to throw a party. There was even a pile of internal organs and delicacies (eyeballs, tongue, etc... {I saw on a recent episode of Wildboyz that Sarchophilus Satanicus likes to start with door number two, is it the same with tigers? :p If so, you can have the colon too.}) for Kunax's delight. But strangely, no one was about.

We feasted like kings (and a queen). No earthquakes to disturb this perfect feast. After the feast, I leaned back against a tree and loosened my belt. I released a resounding belch that echoed in the quiet village. Now that my hunger was sated, I could turn my mind to what could be done to get past the monstrosity in the cave. I replayed the events of that night over in my thoughts. Why didn't the beast restrain me? Was it evil? What had happened to those villagers trapped inside? I thought to myself that I should ask Cat what he knows about these things. I drifted into a late afternoon nap.

I dreamt of giants slumbering in the earth. The stars fell from the sky in a glittering haze. A faint voice seemed to drift about the landscape, coming from a far distant place. I couldn't make out the words, but it seemed to be sadly calling out to someone. Calling to someone lost. Come home. Come home. Where are you? Come home...

edit: Damn, forgot to mention the jugs of Scirum laying about the place. I don't drink though, so I for one didn't get drunk.
 
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Diary of Sexy Blue
mmm.....barbeque.....yummmmmm.....
Argh, the fish is wiggling again. It'd be the first time i've heard of a fish THIS talented, but, hey, it works. Conversing with a cat and tiger is a lil bizzare, but strangely, i feel no fear of being eaten.
What I do find strange, apart from the story of the cave (i don't know it yet, so someone fill me in) is that, there are so few inhabinants, and yet, this seems as though built for a small village, and well built at that. It is still a little unsettling, but life needs to be taken as it comes.
But for now, a walk. I cannot sleep and feel as though i need a walk. While not straying too far from the village, i examine the surroundings, and streach in the long crisp grass.
Streching turns to sitting in the grass, then laying. The illusion of energy fades and i fall asleep in the lush grass....
 
Diary of Sexy blue cont.
Suddenly, i become aware of a noise. Not just a noise, but a voice, shimmering throughout the valley.
"Come home...... Where are you?..... come hhooommmeeee......"
Such a sad voice, a sad tone. a tear fell from my eye, but to stay as i was felt fitting. Soon, slumber returned
 
Interlude: Recap

When I came to this village it was practically deserted. Coolskill had just explored a cave and found a strange plant with electrical properties. He figured out a way to create men from clay and imbue them with life by taking a leaf from this plant and implanting it in their chests. Unknown to him, this "plant" was actually a cable of sorts that powered some type of engines that stabilized the land. The land actually being formed from the etherial mists in some strange way. (cyberspace? ;)) By messing with things he didn't understand (he calls himself genius :p), he damaged the delicate system. Earthquakes began to rock the land. Rifts opening up here and there (not too many yet).

Kunax and I (while tripping on shrooms) fell into one of these rifts. Inside were the engines. Electricity filled the air and gave us both an intense static charge. We discovered an alien device that teleported us out of the chasm back to the chasm (wonder where that device is now?)

After this, we found out that the fish in the pool were actually some type of translator fish (see Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy; Babel Fish). So now we could communicate directly. Of course, Kunax is a tiger and doesn't really talk much or see things in the same way we do.

Next, Cat (a stray cat Kunax had befriended) explained to us that this land was, in fact, created by cats who tired of their human masters. Then, the cats decided that they missed humans to pamper them and opened up a portal for humans to arrive from the old world. The cats put themselves into suspended animation in underground chambers. Cat was to await the day when the humans had gained enough tech to pamper them with the proper style. (Cat's immortal by the way.) He explained about the earthquakes and the means to halt them. Unfortunately, the control systems were in the cave where Coolskill found the plant. Padma had accidentally sealed this cave with dynamite after my arrival. (I had caused earthquakes and stopped the waterfall flowing. I think she thought I was just trying to do destroy the village.) Also, the pool below the falls was filled with rubble at this time and that's why the village is being drowned.

So, I attempted to clear the rubble from the cave entrance. I was caught in a rockfall and rescued/captured by the creature that Coolskill had created. The creature took me to the plant, where Coolskill and Ozymandias had been somehow entangled by the electric plant in a most uncomfortable fashion. The creature seemed to be worshipping this configuration and asking it for aid. The plant had begun to bloom. Inside the flowers were eyes and maybe other things as well, I only got a fleeting glimpse as I was fleeing the cave. I dragged myself back to my lean-to and collapsed into sleep. Sexy Blue arrived the next morning.

Hmm, am I missing anything? The clay creature was imbued with electricity and stunned me with the shock of it when it rescued/captured me. Most of the huts in the village were destroyed by the earthquakes (I'm a construction worker and will rebuild them once I get the time.) You already stated that you have a hut, so I'll let you have yours. ;)

I think that's it, there was also some stuff from before my time. Hints of a revolution, unsanitary hijinks, a mutated fetus, a Mafia family, Lobster-farming. I'd recommend going back over it, there was some good stuff back there back when the village had more inhabitants. I doubt this thread would still be going if Kunax hadn't kept plugging away. Thanks, Kunax.

Oh yeah, we got Paul with his sandwich board and his rusty bell crying the end of the world. He's a robot though. Feel free to use him anyway you want. He won't mind.

Also, Coolskill overheard a dying fish talking about the Great Grouper. We haven't come across him yet, though.
 
The smell of rotting flesh, the heat, a stinging sensation and the sound of my own voice aroused me from my fitful slumber. I was calling out in my sleep, “come home, come home, I want to come home, where are you? I want to come home”. The thing, which stood no more than a meter in front of me, was human, however it was no longer living. Who ever it was had been impaled by a spear and had died standing and leaning forward with the blunt end of the spear stuck in the earth. The stench was horrid and there were maggots everywhere-even crawling on me! This got me moving. I jumped up and at the same time issued a blood-curdling scream that will be heard until the end of time. Running faster and faster blinded by fear towards a familiar scent, I leapt out from the jungle into a clearing. Here, before me were the few remaining inhabitants of the village including some new or old members I don’t know. They had been feasting on a great ox and some were sleeping. I took what I wanted and headed back to my former hut that was still in ruins, thinking that I may have out stayed my welcome in the lean-to I was staying in, he must be used to me being gone now. When I arrived, I sat down, ate and was visited by the Tiger and his cat. Rather than fight them away, I shared what little I had and began rebuilding my hut. It was completed by nightfall. Cat and Kunax slept and lounged as they watched me rebuild all that I had lost. Now all I need to do is to keep that damned tiger from crapping under my window. I slept soundly that night and only woke up once due to a visitor who had crept into my hammock and had curled up on my lap. Tomorrow I will try to find Jaded or someone else with whom I will fish or hunt. Perhaps I may even introduce myself to the new people. I don’t know.
 
(Welcome back, Padma. I would have wrote you in, but I thought by your post that you wanted to be gone. I'll help you rebuild your hut, after all, you did save my life a time or two.)
 
(Tigers also start at the rear end, but don't worry it gets worse :)...)

Rain, it had started raining, first a few fine little droplets here and there, but soon it was coming down in heavy beams, Cat and I had to run for cover and where better then Padma new house.
Cat had quickly scaled the heavy door and run inside true a small window above the door, leaving me alone out in the rain.

Failing to use the door handle, I gave up getting into the house and skulked around the house, in a search for another place where i could escape the rain.
Passing by a window i looked in and saw Cat, he had already found his him self a pretty spot, I could almost hear him pour, in the warm comforts of Padmas house, if it hadn't been for the heavy rain drumming on the window between us.

On the side of Padmas hut was a small roof sticking out, it was meant to keep firewood dry, but no one had chopped any, leaving room for me to creep in under and some what escape the rain.
 
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