Public displays of affection

S.A.M. said:
How much PDA is acceptable, according to you?
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I think this is a good loose boundaried issue.

Kissing does not bother me in the least, even when other people are doing it. I think the point where it begins to bother me is where it begins to feel sexual. That of course is very subjective - on my side of the equation.

I think those acts that I wouldn't want others to witness, I don't want to see others perform. A tongue kiss that has an affectionate vibe, fine. A tongue kiss with pressed together hips that feels a second from that point where they will want to tear off their clothes, I don't like having up close to me.

I don't want to make any rules, so even the word acceptable is not one I want to use.

I do wonder what is going on for some of these people. If I kiss someone, I open myself. I am intimate, period. If I do this on the street I am opening myself in the presence of strangers. I generally don't immediately trust strangers. So I think often these people have poor self-care.
 
I think its either a measure of confidence or exhibitionism, depending on your perspective.
 
S.A.M. said:
I think its either a measure of confidence or exhibitionism, depending on your perspective.
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I am quite sure some people would think it is confidence, but I think they are probably cut off from their feelings or they are not very capable of intimacy. Just as I wouldn't talk about my private life, or at least certain areas of it, so that all could see, and just as I would not show some of the strong emotions that come up between me and loved ones, I would not want random people witnessing certain kinds of intimacy. If I did not care very much about the woman, I suppose, I could without feeling wrongly boundaryless, but I doubt I would, then.
 
Simon Anders said:
I am quite sure some people would think it is confidence, but I think they are probably cut off from their feelings or they are not very capable of intimacy. Just as I wouldn't talk about my private life, or at least certain areas of it, so that all could see, and just as I would not show some of the strong emotions that come up between me and loved ones, I would not want random people witnessing certain kinds of intimacy. If I did not care very much about the woman, I suppose, I could without feeling wrongly boundaryless, but I doubt I would, then.
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So you associate boundaries with caring?
 
S.A.M. said:
So you associate boundaries with caring?
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Sure. Some examples....
your toddler is running toward the street and you gently guide her back. (at a later age, explain more)
you don't sleep with your neighbor because your wife would be upset
(self care) you say no to sex with someone who gives you the creeps but does seem convinced you owe him sex.

Often people who have been abused have trouble setting up boundaries.

I do not think caring=setting boundaries, but I do think the latter is an important component of the former. I don't want to make a rule, but if I saw two people having sex on a crowded street, I would think they were not caring for themselves very well.
 
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For me, it depends. Firstly, I'm fine with it so long as the couple is straight.

If so, then kissing and hugging is not a problem for me.


However, I mean, having sex in public, not so much. That's better in private.
 
you people really dont know what your missing, sex in public is more fun than.. well just about any other dress up\fantasy ect you can think of:D
 
Asguard said:
you people really dont know what your missing, sex in public is more fun than.. well just about any other dress up\fantasy ect you can think of:D
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And btw this proves my point, liberals think everything is ok
 
Yup, figures that our resident sex-peddler, asguard, and his dangerously-horny self would include full-fledged sexual intercourse within the list of acts constituting public displays of affection. Are you kidding me? There is no way in hell that sex in public should be permitted; such actions warrant nerve-racking repercussions. Do you realize how serious of an offense it is to have sex in public? Let me put it into perspective for you: two entire cities (Sodom and Gomorrah) were wholly leveled by the use of brimstone, partly because the inhabitants within were stupid enough to practice strictly private matters in the public's eye. So yeah, this is some serious stuff we're talking about, man ...

Other than that, younger kids shouldn't be allowed to kiss sexually (I say "sexually" because a farewell kiss on the cheek obviously shouldn't be outlawed, for more reasons than one). The punishment for breaking such rules? A solid, unforgettable beating, preferably executed by a nearby police officer/decency-enforcer. Sounds strict, doesn't it? Too bad. I'm a no-nonsense kind of guy, and I'm a stickler for public decency and exhibition of presentable actions viewable by everyone within the realm of the "public". In Layman's terms: I don't want my hypothetical kid watching two fat, ugly, pubicly-bushy people going at it.

A few remaining sentiments awaiting to be voiced: everybody who said public displays of affection should be limited to kissing are hypocritical faggots. Is there any plausible argument for only allowing certain variations of public affection, and rigidly disallowing the rest? Of course not! You either have to let everything slide (as in, making it legal for people to have sex six feet away from you amidst a family-oriented picnic), or you have to rule with an iron-fist and disallow such indecent bullshit from being practiced, often enforcing such requirements with old-fashioned ass-whoopery. The former option leads us down a dangerous path, ripe with immoral beings, and ultimately results in a lawless, unfunctional "society". The latter option encourages and enforces public decency, modesty, tastefulness, respect for others, and order.

Verdict is in: public displays of affection are a no-go with Kadark.

Kadark the Universal
 
Asguard said:
you people really dont know what your missing, sex in public is more fun than.. well just about any other dress up\fantasy ect you can think of:D
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You are assuming the public wants to see you have sex with your partner. Personally I do not. Nor do I want my kids to see you having sex with your partner.

While it might be fun for you, it's not fun for those of us unfortunate enough to have to witness it.:p
 
I don't have any problem with heterosexual displays. I've never seen people actually having intercourse in public but it wouldn't bother me, although I might stare and they'd better be prepared for that if they're going to do it in public.

Unfortunately even after living in Hollywood for ten years I never quite got used to homosexual displays. They make me a little uncomfortable but I refuse to allow myself to show it since gays need all the support they can get after the unconscionable way my parents' generation treated them.

I never had children so perhaps I'm not totallly qualifed to speak to the issue of what children should be allowed to witness. Nonetheless I do remember being "sheltered" from much of life as a child. Having such a horribly limited understanding of the world fucked me up terribly. I would much rather have seen all that stuff and asked questions.

"Why are those people doing that? It looks just icky!"

"Because when children become grownups they change and they start having feelings they never had before."

"Oh yuck I don't ever want to be a person who feels like those people do!"

"Well then you don't have to, son. Nobody is going to force you to feel like that. It's entirely up to you."
 
bells, have you ever been to alexandra park on the outskirts of melbourne?

There are always HEEPS of couples going for it in a discreate manner (ie they dont strip off and bend eachother over the bench, just looks like the women is laying on the guy, skirts are great for this:)

Basically do you find my opinions or kadarks more repugnant?:p
 
Simon Anders said:
Sure. Some examples....
your toddler is running toward the street and you gently guide her back. (at a later age, explain more)
you don't sleep with your neighbor because your wife would be upset
(self care) you say no to sex with someone who gives you the creeps but does seem convinced you owe him sex.

Often people who have been abused have trouble setting up boundaries.

I do not think caring=setting boundaries, but I do think the latter is an important component of the former. I don't want to make a rule, but if I saw two people having sex on a crowded street, I would think they were not caring for themselves very well.
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So according to you, an important component of caring is inhibition? Between two couples, one holding hands while walking and one not, you would consider the one not holding hands to be more caring of themselves and each other?
 
Kadark said:
Do you realize how serious of an offense it is to have sex in public? Let me put it into perspective for you: two entire cities (Sodom and Gomorrah) were wholly leveled by the use of brimstone, partly because the inhabitants within were stupid enough to practice strictly private matters in the public's eye. So yeah, this is some serious stuff we're talking about, man ...
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Why would you invoke that fairy tale? Is that the story in which you make your moral grounds?

Lot offered up his daughters for a gang rape so he wouldn't have to hand over the male angels to the men of Sodom, to sodomize, of course.

"I pray you brethren, do not so wickedly. Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof" (Genesis 19: 7-8)

I'm a no-nonsense kind of guy, and I'm a stickler for public decency and exhibition of presentable actions viewable by everyone within the realm of the "public". In Layman's terms: I don't want my hypothetical kid watching two fat, ugly, pubicly-bushy people going at it.
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But, if your kid is your daughter, you'll gladly give her up for a gang rape, according to your moral references.

Verdict is in: public displays of affection are a no-go with Kadark
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Unless it's a gang rape of your daughters?
 
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