Searcher,
Man, how many times do we really need to discuss the sins of the Christian church? And the answer issssss....as many as it takes until you understand!
This is how it is guys....Satan works within organized religion to the point that I almost want nothing to do with it. But honestly, organized religion is like anything else in this world. Created and operated by human beings, who are sinners by nature. Did you know that what we see as organized religion is NOT what Jesus calls "the church" in the Bible? The church in the Bible is the entire group of people who are actual believers, and that are born again in the spirit, and have faith in Jesus Christ. These people may or may not participate in what we know as organized religion, or what OUR definition of the church is, A church. Does this make sense?
And don't get me wrong, I watch my evangelists on TBN every Sunday, and I thank God for SOME of them, and SOME of them gross me out soooooo bad, that I can't even watch or listen. But even the best preacher, minister, born again Christian, or any human being makes mistakes, and has the wrong ideas about some things. And SOME don't even have a relationship with Jesus at all, and once you would get to know Him, it would be a lot more obvious to you, like it is to me.
It always, always, always boils down to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. One that is begun, and fostered, and maintained IN YOUR HEART, which is our word for our soul. For example, have you ever heard of any Christian, or anyone for that matter who shares my view of homosexuality? That the only problem with it is what boils down to gender discrimination, and not one other thing is wrong with it? That it all boils down to one's intentions, and not the act? Do you think I got that from an evangelist, or from "the church"? Hell no! Do you know who told me that? Jesus told me that.
Tony will be ok, don't worry. I've been where he's at right now before. He's frustrated because it seems that no matter how hard he tries, you guys just refuse to get it. But Tony, if you're frustrated, then just take a look at some of Flash's recent posts. And the rest of you as well. Look back at some of her old, old, old ones, and then look now. THAT my friends, is an answer to MY prayers. Now, if that's not proof of the power of faith in Jesus Christ, then I don't know what is. Any thoughts on that?
Listen, you guys know just from personal experience, just like I do, that your own intent is sometimes very hard to examine objectively, and is a bit cloudy sometimes. It is the easiest thing in the world to lose sight of God, to lack faith, and to let that personal relationship slide, and all in the name of our own humanity and egos. It seems that we cannot help getting distracted by the things of this world, which when it is all said and done, amount to NOTHING. And this is exactly what happens in organized religion as well. As a matter of fact, there is no doubt that some people organize and use religion as a means of power and control, and don't EVER have a relationship with Jesus, and therefore, are not born again, and have NO FAITH. You can look at organized religion, just like you can look at anything else in this world, and you can identify right vs wrong within intent. You just have to know where to look. And you know that where to look is in your soul. That's where Jesus is, waiting for you to come and join Him, and talk to Him, and learn from Him. He's there whether you like it or not, you might as well say hi.
Listen, I've said it before and I'll keep saying it til I draw my last breath...if you want to know the truth about Jesus, all you have to do is SINCERELY ask Him for it. Humility and intent is soooooooooooo KEY. And this isn't just some garbly gook that I regurgitated from some preacher, or from the Bible. It is TRUE, 100% true, just like gravity; it's a law. So test it; I dare ya. If you want to know Jesus, He's right there with you all of the time. Just reach out to Him with sincerety and humility, and He will speak to your heart. I've told you guys this before, but I wanted to reiterate what Jesus "feels" like, because it's the most amazing feeling that I've ever had in my life.
When I first met Him, and after time after time after time, throughout my whole life, of trying in vain, I had actually gotten to the point of humility, in which I was just broken, broken, broken. Unfortunately, we humans are soooooo stubborn and steadfast, worshiping our own humanity and ego, that that's what it takes to get us to the real truth. But anyway, He felt like a long lost father, that I felt like I knew before, like at one time way way long ago, we had been soooooo close, but it was like I forgot about Him since. And it's like all my life, He was there with me, but I just couldn't see Him, and I could hear Him speaking to my heart, but I didn't realize it WAS Him. Is this making any sense??? Well, if you can imagine not knowing your real father, and carrying around that sense of loss and loneliness your whole life, and then opening up your eyes one day, and there he is, with open arms, and the most unconditional love for you that you could even imagine, and then you find out that He's always had this love for you, and has always been there, you just didn't know it. It was overwhelming. You think Hallmark commercials are bad, geez. Is this making any sense?
And you know, as hard as I try, and as much as I believe in Him, I still struggle with my faith, and those damn worldly distractions. It takes a real solid effort, like nothing you've ever done in your life to keep focused on what's important. Let me give you an example of something that's happened to me recently, and see if you understand what I mean. You guys know about all of the problems I've been through lately regarding my divorce, and then that I just got dumped by Superman right? Well let me explain what happened. This is kind of trippy. After all I've been through this past year, I prayed to God that He would give me a man who has the right intentions toward me, and would love me for who I was, and not what he could get out of me for nothing you know? Someone who loved God like I do, and had a good heart, and that I could trust with mine. I also told Him that I did not under any circumstances, trust my own judgement at all. So I asked Him if He would just plop this guy down right on my front porch for me, and make it soooooo obvious to me, that I couldn't make a mistake about who he was. Within a matter of DAYS, JJ showed up to put my roof on. By the time he was done, I KNEW that he was the one that God sent to me. It was OBVIOUS. Yes, even to me, as dumb as I am. LOL! This guy's heart is amazing. And his intentions are astoundingly pure. I was so happy. So we started dating, and he is the kind of guy who over-commits himself with the best of intentions, because he kind of wants to be everything to everyone you know? And then when he can't get to it all, it comes back and bites him in the butt. Well, because of that, and just the fact that he's so young I think, he made a few dates with me, and then had to cancel at the last minute. And what did I do? Me of little faith, what did I do? I doubted his intentions, and jumped to the wrong conclusions, and immediately assumed that he was dicking me around. And BOOM, he was gone. Just like magic. And I see now that in doubting his intentions, I was doubting God, and I was doubting that He answered my prayers. Now I have been through soooo much heartache, and have prayed sooooo hard, and I KNOW, because of many things that I've witnessed in my life that Jesus is REAL, and He's REALLY there, and when He says He's gonna do something, it's already done. And even knowing that, I STILL LAPSED IN FAITH!!!!! Can you believe that??? How stupid am I exactly? Ok, don't answer that. I'm just trying to tell you guys that faith is NOT easy. Not at all. It seems sometimes that you all are looking for some cut and dry, black and white, paint by numbers, quick fix. And I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, it's just not that way. Hey, if any dummy out there wishes it was that easy, it's me. But it's just not.
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You may think I'm a nut, but I'm fastened to the strongest bolt in the universe.
[This message has been edited by Lori (edited June 15, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Lori (edited June 15, 2000).]