Jokes and Funny Stories II
- Thread starter Billy T
- Start date
Yabba grabba brew.
"Excuse me but how do you get to Carnegie Hall?"
"Practice, practice, practice."
"Practice, practice, practice."
A man goes to the Doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts here, here, and here." The man points to three different places on his body.
The Doctor says, "You've broken your finger."
The Doctor says, "You've broken your finger."
Good luck @ UNI.
(Looks like something else (c*nt.))
(Looks like something else (c*nt.))
davewhite04
Valued Senior Member
Paddy goes to the builders merchant and asks for 4 pallets of bricks.
The guy asks "What you gonna do with all these bricks Paddy?"
Paddy says "Build a barbecue"
The guy says "You don't need 4 pallets of bricks for a barbecue!"
Paddy says "You do when you live on the 9th floor"
Sorry, don't know how to hide the punchline.
The guy asks "What you gonna do with all these bricks Paddy?"
Paddy says "Build a barbecue"
The guy says "You don't need 4 pallets of bricks for a barbecue!"
Paddy says "You do when you live on the 9th floor"
Sorry, don't know how to hide the punchline.
I don't know. What do you call a column of Rabbits marching backwards?
sculptor
Valued Senior Member
a rec
a receding hare line
Lol! Very good Sculptor.
NT News newspaper 30 September 2019
From the Heaven Help Us Line
I stored my files in the cloud. After it rained I could no longer find them
A blonde is bored of her and her husband's sex life, and wishes to spice things up.
The husband offers, "Would you like to try the wheel-Barrow?"
The blonde replies, "As long as we don't go past my parents' house."
The husband offers, "Would you like to try the wheel-Barrow?"
The blonde replies, "As long as we don't go past my parents' house."
sculptor
Valued Senior Member
Man walks into a bar, orders a whiskey, neat, says make it a double.
Bartender pours him a glass.
Man holds his nose and closes his eyes and gulps the glass down.
This is repeated several times over the next few weeks.
Man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey, neat, and says, make it a double.
As the bartender pours the drink, he asks the man if he likes whiskey.
Yes, came the immediate and enthusiastic reply.
Well then, queries the bartender, why do you hold your nose and close your eyes before gulping it down?
Man replies, I don't just like whiskey, I love whiskey.
The very sight and smell of it makes my mouth water
and
I hate to dilute the stuff.
Bartender pours him a glass.
Man holds his nose and closes his eyes and gulps the glass down.
This is repeated several times over the next few weeks.
Man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey, neat, and says, make it a double.
As the bartender pours the drink, he asks the man if he likes whiskey.
Yes, came the immediate and enthusiastic reply.
Well then, queries the bartender, why do you hold your nose and close your eyes before gulping it down?
Man replies, I don't just like whiskey, I love whiskey.
The very sight and smell of it makes my mouth water
and
I hate to dilute the stuff.
davewhite04
Valued Senior Member
Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"