I believe I died once.
Hi,
This is my first post. I was lurking around on google.com trying to find some answers to my experience, and what do you know, this page showed up, so I decided to register and post my experience.
I believe I died around April of this year.
The mindset I had was that I was depressed, I won't bore you with the reasons why, but I did not intend to kill myself. For the sake of the story, my name is Greg, although that is not my real name. This story is from my own personal experience. Now my experience:
I was alone in my room, it was around mid-day and it was quiet, I may have heard a maid or two cleaning other rooms. There was sunshine outside. I decided to go to bed because I was tired, sad, and I basically felt alone. I went to bed, placing my glasses on the counter next to me. I had 3 bed-sheets over my whole body, from head to toe; a thin bed-sheet, a thin blanket, and a comforter. I closed my eyes and started to breathe slowly. I was in a depressed state and I believe that affected my breathing pattern. Before I knew it, I was breathing very slowly, and I remember thinking to myself, something along the lines of, "I'm going to die if I don't breathe.", a few short moments later, I thought to myself, "Oh well, I don't care."
Not a moment too soon, I sprang up as if I was standing. In my amazement, I felt wonderful, light as a feather, reborn if you will. I effortlessly went to my closet mirror which was a few feet away from my bed. I stood before my mirror looking at my reflection, short cut hair, no glasses, white-t shirt, black shorts, and eyes in amazement. I remember saying, "Whoa!" I turned to my right, and walked a few steps to my bathroom, and again saw my reflection, short cut hair, no glasses, white-t shirt, black shorts, and eyes in amazement.
I turned around and left my bathroom. Let me tell you now that at that time I was in a small hotel-like room. I was heading for the door, which is close to my bed, and stopped and noticed the pattern of my comforter. I also noticed a lump underneath the bedsheets, and that the comforter was undisturbed. Before I knew it, the only way I can describe is that, a feeling of sudden truth piercing my soul, hit me. That was body underneath that comforter.
I didn't linger, because I really wanted to go outside. I physically open the door with my hand, went outside, and closed the door behind me. I moved a few feet away from my door and noticed that I was ascending up, not super fast, not super slow. I was in an upright position, looking down. 25ft, 50ft, 100ft, 300ft, 500ft, maybe higher. While I was ascending I noticed the apartment complexes around me, the green grass, the trees, the sunshine. As I was going higher, way above the apartment complexes, above the trees, I felt lost and lonely, sort of like, where do I go from here. Something went through my mind, in the likes of, "close your eyes, and think where you want to be, and that's where you'll be."
Well, it gets totally weird after closing my eyes and thinking where I want to be. I did not know where I was after closing my eyes. I remember coming down from the sky as If I was floating. I noticed the water around, I also noticed some ships, I think I was in a dock. Anyway, I saw a guy, with which what looked like a shotgun, and aimed and shot at me. I floated down slowly to where I was flat on a pavement, sort of like my cheek was looking at the ground. I turned around, stood upward and faced the guy, with a feeling of anxiety. Next thing I knew, he shot himself. A few moments went by it seemed like I was walking around a dock with many ships. I believe I was looking for someone.
After walking around I noticed a dark-colored man, next to an entrance to a small house. He said something about, "The Miss...", referring to a woman, exactly what he said escapes my mind at the moment. I walked inside this house and saw a lady with blond hair. I remember feeling somewhat of an attraction, she felt beautiful to me. I said something to her, but it felt like I wasn't controlling what I was saying, like my mouth was saying something, but my mind was empty. I remember saying, "Do you know Greg?", She said, "No I don't." I asked her again, as if I was desperate, "Do you know Greg?" She said, "No." I said, "Greg is the type of person that would make connections with people without ever meeting them." She said, "Oh no, we have to find him." Right when she said that, I felt a feeling that I was slipping away.
A few moments after I 'slipped away', I noticed that I was under my sheets, still from head to toe. I took a few deep breaths. While I took these breaths I felt like my energy was totally drained, as if the life was sucked out of me. I pushed away the blankets with my arm and got up as fast I can with great effort. The feeling of my drained energy overcame the feeling of my curiosity of my new experience. I was glad that I was alive.
This is the first time I've had this type of experience. I know this wasn't a dream because I had a tremendous presence of mind compared to dreams. The same type of presence as I have now typing this post on my laptop and thinking about the events that happened.
I've had some experiences where I'd be dreaming, but my mind was awake, sort of a presence of mind. I've also experience dreams that felt so real that it could be true. The difference between this experience is that it just felt too personal, and I had a tremendous presence of mind compared to a dream.
I've discussed this experience with only my immediate family and one other person.
I believe in being true to myself. I also believe in the saying, the truth will set you free. I truly want answers.
Some questions that arose thinking back at my experience that I want answered:
1. Why was there no one there to greet me when I died?
2. Why was I alone?
3. What do I do now?
4. If that happens to me again, where do I go? What should I do?
I've been searching for answers to life's questions. There are just so many religions out there claiming to be the truth. There are people that die every day with many experiences of their own. Again, there are just so many Religions and faiths out there claiming to be the truth.
I guess for now, I'll just go with the flow. Respect others, respect myself, and just live.
Anyway thank you for reading what I typed. I've been at it for a little over an hour thinking and typing. You all take it easy.