Catcalling -- creepy or a compliment?

[Bells]

Your edit..

What's wrong if your husband calls you Baby or Babe ? :shrug:

Err because it is patronising. I am not some pet or little girl. I have a name. Had my parents named me "Baby" or "Babe", then it would be a different matter. But they did not.

It wasn't something that was said every once in a while. It was all the time. I would call him and the reply was always "yes Baby?"..:bawl: Drove me insane. I would ask him to stop.. tell him to stop.. he just could not. He was one of those guys who called his girlfriend "Baby".. as in the "Don't worry your pretty little head about it Baby"..

Started off ok.. we could talk about everything.. but then he seemed to settle and then his true self came out. The few and far between "Baby" became something that was constant. By the end, I had become one of those people who could crush a glass in one hand each time he called me that. As I said, it didn't last long.

 

[S.A.M.]

"None were rich" could mean anything!

C'mon, in a country with a population well over a billion, there's gotta be somebody who can hold a conversation with you. If not, maybe it's something you're doing wrong? :shrug:

Mostly, I'm not looking. But yeah, if it comes down to it, there are guys I like enough to settle down with.

Your edit..


Err because it is patronising. I am not some pet or little girl. I have a name. Had my parents named me "Baby" or "Babe", then it would be a different matter. But they did not.

It wasn't something that was said every once in a while. It was all the time. I would call him and the reply was always "yes Baby?".. Drove me insane. I would ask him to stop.. tell him to stop.. he just could not. He was one of those guys who called his girlfriend "Baby".. as in the "Don't worry your pretty little head about it Baby"..

Started off ok.. we could talk about everything.. but then he seemed to settle and then his true self came out. The few and far between "Baby" became something that was constant. By the end, I had become one of those people who could crush a glass in one hand each time he called me that. As I said, it didn't last long

Ever tried calling him "kid"? Or kiddo?

 

[Tiassa]

Boo. Hiss. Whatever.

I'm not the one barking at women on sidewalks, nor am I defending the actions of those who do

Actually, you are defending them—

"However, if you're going to dress without respect for yourself, then people are under no obligation to treat you with respect, either." (#1861897/95)

• "Clearly, there is a difference between grabbing/humping a woman, and making a chauvinistic comment towards a woman because she was flaunting her ass towards your face, while taking gazelle strides in her low-cut, tantalizing skirt." (#1861932/97)​

—even after claiming you aren't—

• "Well, what else are they to do? They work their fingers to the bone, building infrastructure for pampered individuals like yourself to conveniently use. They get paid little for doing a lot; they're usually working in the middle of terrible weather, whilst you're at home sipping hot cocoa and watching old reruns.

"Seriously, let them enjoy their fifteen-minute break! Other than blazing a joint (which can get pricey!), what do they have to do except for ogling women they will never have the opportunity to tap?" (#1862215/143)​

—so spare us the sanctimonious crap:

Maybe if you actually read what other people said, instead of immediately launching a storybook-length diatribe against them, we wouldn't be tangled in this mess!

I mean, really ... maybe I would believe your pathetic attempt to disclaim yourself if I didn't read your posts.

Look, if you want to dress like you've just lost a bet, then by all means, go for it - but don't be surprised when certain men choose to take advantage of your blatant sluttyness (is that even a word?)

And if you want to turn around and try to justify poor behavior immediately after claiming you're not trying to justify poor behavior, don't be surprised if certain people decide to call bullshit.

Seriously, man, if you're going to try to con us, at least put some effort into it.

Boo. Hiss. Whatever.

Thbpbpbpbpt!

 

[Kadark]

My argument is, essentially, that catcalling is neither "objectification" or "complimenting". I don't participate in it, nor do I approve of it; however, I don't go out of my way to ensure its halting, either. Why are you in such a cranky mood, anyway? Is your girlfriend still as bad as a cadaver in bed?

 

[Tiassa]

The new statement works just fine.

My argument is, essentially, that catcalling is neither "objectification" or "complimenting". I don't participate in it, nor do I approve of it; however, I don't go out of my way to ensure its halting, either.

But you'll make a point of justifying it. And that's fine.

Why are you in such a cranky mood, anyway?

Given your earlier petite mal tantrum about reading posts, I'm not sure that's your question to ask. If you're going to be sanctimonious, at least be honest.

Is your girlfriend still as bad as a cadaver in bed?

As far as I know. But I haven't checked lately. Her sexual incompetence is no longer for me to worry about.

 

[lepustimidus]

To be more specific: The more revealing a woman dresses, the more likely she is to be sexually harassed by men who have no better respect or use for women.

The problem is that whatever excuses you want to make for the men, all you're doing at this point is reaffirming the feminist suspicion that many men are incapable of seeing women as human beings, but rather view them as sex toys.

Don't blame a woman for a man's lack of self-control.

Guess I won't bother locking my car door, then. :shrug:

 

[krokah]

If I think a girl is pretty I usually go up to her and tell her so in a friend;y manner...is that cat calling? i think thats just a compliment

If I see someone that is rather striking and I can't help but look, I will also go up to her and tell her that I think she looks great and how nice it is to see someone like her. I then walk away so she doesn't think I am trying to pick her up. Just wish I could though.

 

[visceral_instinct]

Women shouldn't dress like sex-hungry sluts if they can't stand the cat-calls from ball-scratchin', joint-blazin' construction workers.

Know what's interesting? Never in my life have I seen a conservatively dressed woman, no matter how good looking, the target of these calls and whistles. However, the instant somebody with a short skirt walks along, people start making these cat-calls.

Moral of the story? If you don't want to be treated like a slut, then don't dress like one.

So basically, men can't help whistling and cat calling? They suffer some kind of seizure that makes them do it whenever a woman in a short skirt walks past?

I suppose you also think it's a woman's fault for being raped if she was wearing a short skirt.

 

[EmmZ]

I've actually heard women say, "I'm not a feminist!" with pride. As though being a feminist somehow equates to being a misandrist. As though being a feminist is a dirty word. As though it's a shameful thing. As though being a feminist will make men hate them. As though they don't want their right to vote. Yet another word demonised and twisted so it's real meaning is lost. Women calling each other whores and sluts, doing the sexists' job for them. How weird would it be hearing a Sri-Lankan calling another "brown skinned person" a "Paki" out of ignorance? I've never heard a person of colour say they have nothing against racists, in fact they think it's all a bit blown out of proportion and would never call themselves an anti-racist. I'm a hard-line feminist. Most people are, they just don't know it. Unless you happen to think women are basically animals who need feeding and sheltering like cattle. What do phrases like, "You big girl" and "Shut up you woman" (said to a man) mean? They mean "You're weak". And my favourite SciForums Ignorant Twat phrase, "Housewife". I'd like their mothers to stop washing their clothes and making their tea for a day, or their wives stop raising their little soon-to-be ignorant little bastards. Let's see how valueless housewives are then when the dirty work has to be done by them, or not at all. I certainly wouldn't shoot myself in the foot by demoralising men, nor would I write my own unvetted thoughts. As for the women who dress like sluts argument, I have nothing to say to that. It makes even less sense than the, "these are virile, hard-working men merely showing their appreciation for good looking women".

 

[S.A.M.]

Hear hear!!! :bravo:

PS You're a woman?

 

[invert_nexus]

Guess I won't bother locking my car door, then.

Locks only keep honest people honest.

 

[visceral_instinct]

I've actually heard women say, "I'm not a feminist!" with pride. As though being a feminist somehow equates to being a misandrist. As though being a feminist is a dirty word.

Exactly.
I would call myself a feminist, but I'm definitely not a man hater. I would just like to be able to go about my life, not be treated as an inferior, and to do things I like without some stupid fuck questioning either my femininity or my zona reticularis.

 

[Carcano]

I'm a hard-line feminist.

Ive noticed most hard line feminists dont even like the feminine aspect of human nature.

They go out of their way to look as masculine as possible.

One exception would be this lady on Youtube. Shes on a crusade of restoring spiritual reverence for the divine feminine...or something like that?

http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=rasavonwerder

 

[visceral_instinct]

Ive noticed most hard line feminists dont even like the feminine aspect of human nature.

They go out of their way to look as masculine as possible.

Bollocks.

That's a stereotype, not a reality.

 

[Carcano]

That's a stereotype, not a reality.

Where do you think stereotypes come from?

 

[visceral_instinct]

Where do you think stereotypes come from?

They arise because people are too lazy to judge others by who they really are, and merely seize on one characteristic or other, or assume that one group in society is all the same.

All teenagers are delinquents and drug addicts.

All metal heads are mentally disturbed and violent.

All black people are criminals.

How sound is that?

 

[Enmos]

The second one is pretty accurate though

 

[visceral_instinct]

*heaves a sigh*

I give up.

 

[Carcano]

All teenagers are delinquents and drug addicts.

All metal heads are mentally disturbed and violent.

All black people are criminals.

How sound is that?

Some of that does have a basis in reality...although not in such an extreme form, yes.

 

[EmmZ]

Hear hear!!! :bravo:

PS You're a woman?

Just out of curiosity, why is that surprising?