Being a Gentleman

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It's simply the culture; generally, men ought to protect their ladies.

I am not saying ladies are weak nor am I saying that ladies cannot protect themselves; I am only saying that it is customary for a man to look out for a lady. That's being a gentleman. That's the manners side of it, and boys grow up today looking at ladies as nothing more than objects, and not caring about intellectualism or virtue. At least, that's the way I see it (there are exceptions, of course)

Both genders ought to be taught good values.
You're living in the past, equality is the order of the day and you can't have it both ways. Protect someone if they're smaller than you, or if they're in trouble, not because their genitals aren't the same as yours.
 
this may be an appropriate thread in which to bring up a pet peeve of mine...moshing. grrrr...

a fairly recent development, predominately enjoyed by young men.
It isn't that recent really, ever since rock music started there's been something similar going on.

i go to a lot of shows, and i don't feel like i should be assaulted just because i'm at a music venue. put that behavior in any other venue, and it's assault.
You should expect rock concerts to get a bit physical at the front, move to the sides or rear.
not necessarily the "lord of the flies dance" itself, but the act of clearing the way for it. here about 75% of the floor is taken up by about 5% of the crowd. bullshit!
Usually you get pushed rather far out of the way long before any "assault" begins.

i was at the bamboozle festival in jersey a few years ago, and i was standing around waiting for the next band to start, talking to a friend, when all of a sudden someone shoves me from behind. really hard. i was wearing some capris from hot topic, and my chucks, and a "i <3 dorks" t-shirt. from behind, i probably looked like a teenage girl. i turned around, and confronted the teenage boy who had shoved me. when he saw that i was his mother's age, i could see the color drain out of his face. i walked up to him, and in a very taxi driver kind of way said "did YOU just shove ME?"

"i'm sorry ma'am! i was just trying to clear the floor so we can mosh!"

how is that ok?
You get rude bastards everywhere, and it's usually the inexperienced. Most regulars will look out for each other, apologise if they catch you, and they pick others up if they fall down.
You should try a "wall of death" next time. ;)
 
It isn't that recent really, ever since rock music started there's been something similar going on.


You should expect rock concerts to get a bit physical at the front, move to the sides or rear.

Usually you get pushed rather far out of the way long before any "assault" begins.


You get rude bastards everywhere, and it's usually the inexperienced. Most regulars will look out for each other, apologise if they catch you, and they pick others up if they fall down.
You should try a "wall of death" next time. ;)

i have witnessed the wall of death from the stands. it looked like hell. seriously disturbing to me. :(

but in regards to the mosh pit...i think i'm probably older than you are. see, back in the day, we just used to bang our heads. nobody got hurt, unless you gave yourself whiplash, and then that was your own fault.

and i pay the same amount of money for a ticket as everyone else does. i should be able to stand where i want to, and not have to be pushed around, or kicked in the face, or have some 180 lb dude land on my head. i've been drilled in the temple with a water bottle...smooshed until i could barely breath. kids nowadays are outta control. and most of the moshers and surfers aren't paying any attention to the music or what's going on on stage. they could be at home in their basements doing that shit and they'd never know the difference. :shrug:

i would say that maybe i'm just getting old, but i never did like to get hurt, even when i was young.

i'm whining, i know. i just don't get it.
 
I LOVE the wall of death.

It's such a good adrenalin rush.

Now you got me pining to go to an actual metal concert. I haven't been to one in a while.
 
If your going to a show and there is a GA section there will be moshing. Its part of the culture if you don't like it don't get near the pit.
 
i have witnessed the wall of death from the stands. it looked like hell. seriously disturbing to me.
Ah see that doesn't count, you gotta be in it.

but in regards to the mosh pit...i think i'm probably older than you are. see, back in the day, we just used to bang our heads. nobody got hurt, unless you gave yourself whiplash, and then that was your own fault.
You clearly haven't been to enough punk gigs. ;)

and i pay the same amount of money for a ticket as everyone else does. i should be able to stand where i want to, and not have to be pushed around, or kicked in the face, or have some 180 lb dude land on my head. i've been drilled in the temple with a water bottle...smooshed until i could barely breath. kids nowadays are outta control. and most of the moshers and surfers aren't paying any attention to the music or what's going on on stage. they could be at home in their basements doing that shit and they'd never know the difference.

i would say that maybe i'm just getting old, but i never did like to get hurt, even when i was young.

i'm whining, i know. i just don't get it.
Eh, everybody likes different things and it splits the room, you gotta be aware of where these things start and avoid them, it isn't as though you can't get a good view anywhere or an unmolested place. I'm sure lots of things in life are similar. You'll know when you're getting old cause you'll start paying for seats. :p
 
People who outright DISLIKE moshing and want to stand anywhere they feel like it, are a minority. Most are happy to either join in the pit or stand to one side. Why fuck it up for the rest of us??
 
agreed. I can't imagine manners would be expected in a mosh pit

Oh hell yes they are:

- You don't punch, kick or deliberately elbow anyone.
- If someone falls, you immediately pulls them up, to prevent them getting crushed if someone falls on them.
 
Acting like a "gentleman" is generally a pretty random bag of behaviors, some of which are certainly becoming increasingly quaint and some of which are gone. When was the last time anyone laid their jacket in a puddle so that a woman could step on it rather than in the water?

Damn you kids and your lack of gentlemanliness!

Opening doors for women is still common, but the root of it is "Woman are weak" even if that is not foremost in your mind when you open that door. I honestly think the modern root is it is "I want to get laid, and this action may facilitate that down the road as, even if this chick is old, she may have a hot daughter."

Table manners vary from region to region, so "eating propertly" is only possible within one's own region.

Frankly it is silly to fuss over particular matters of etiquette. Modern gentlemanliness should limited to the need to consider the welfare of others in your decisions and to act accordingly, no to follow a pre-defined list. I don't care if you fail to send a thank you card after I have given you a birthday gift, even if that is in the Gentleman's Rulebook, so long as you are generally considerate of me, we're good.

Paying 'please' and 'thank you' and 'Bless you" after someone sneezes are nice, but exactly how do the incantation of magic words improve the world in any objective way?
 
You're right, Panda, but it's a matter of culture and society; having proper etiquette is important to a decent society, and having a proper values system is essential to a successful society.
 
Oh hell yes they are:

- You don't punch, kick or deliberately elbow anyone.
- If someone falls, you immediately pulls them up, to prevent them getting crushed if someone falls on them.

Exactly! You only get a good kicking if you don't follow these rules. ;)
I've even known bands stop playing to "enforce" them briefly.
You have to remember that at a gig everyone is from the same "group", so they might be punks and on their own outside the venue, but inside they're ALL punks, so they stick together.
 
You know you are old when you start griping about those damn kids in stead of being those damn kids.
 
If you want to see just how lacking we as a society have become of late, just catch a form of public transport..

I cannot even begin to count just how many times men and sometimes women, refuse to give their seats when they see a pregnant woman, elderly, infirm or disabled person board a crowded train or bus. People sit in the seats reserved for such people and then refuse to stand and allow them to sit down, sometimes even when asked to. Sometimes you see women refusing to give their seats, the the majority who seem to sit in those seats and refuse to stand end up being men.

It is one of the things that really, really angers me to be honest. You see an elderly person or pregnant woman or disabled person, you let them sit down. I've found myself boarding the train in the morning and seeing young and healthy men and women ignoring sometimes heavily pregnant women, the elderly (some using walking frames), disabled people who are standing right in front of them, desperately trying to hold onto the handholds so they don't topple over...

It shouldn't be a matter of being a gentleman. It should be a matter of manners and human decency.
 
It is one of the things that really, really angers me to be honest. You see an elderly person or pregnant woman or disabled person, you let them sit down. I've found myself boarding the train in the morning and seeing young and healthy men and women ignoring sometimes heavily pregnant women, the elderly (some using walking frames), disabled people who are standing right in front of them, desperately trying to hold onto the handholds so they don't topple over...

It shouldn't be a matter of being a gentleman. It should be a matter of manners and human decency.

I agree whole heartedly. It makes me steaming mad too.

Respect for people, is mostly a dying art imho. It's definitely on a decline.

That said, I'd love to find a man who would take care of me. Open doors, pull out my chair. Ask me nicely for a date, even court me. I would happily cook and clean for him, darn his socks, knit him a sweater to keep him warm and smile while doing it. This society we are living in now, is not to my liking. While I am an intelligent girl, who is successful in my line of work and has been supporting my family and home for a long time, it's definitely not to my liking. I would love to be the backbone and support for a proud man who knew how to treat a lady like a lady.

I'm a simple girl. And I should have been born in the 30's or 40's. When men valued their women and women valued their men. Now days, it seems like no one really honors one another and no one has respect for the jobs that each other does. Equality is one thing, but ignoring respect and good treatment of each other for this independence is eating away at an already frayed societal structure.
 
...It shouldn't be a matter of being a gentleman. It should be a matter of manners and human decency.

agreed.
At my mother-in-laws funeral, her children and their spouses got a seat at the grave site. I stood and let my husband's 85 yr old aunt have my seat.
Then to hear a sister-in-law say "she's old-fashioned". I wanted to shove her in on top of the casket. :mad:

Both my kids know to hold open doors, help with groceries, give up their seat, etc. hmmmm, but I am gonna have to see if they know about the pregnancy thing. We don't run into many pregnant women to see if they know.
 
I agree whole heartedly. It makes me steaming mad too.

Respect for people, is mostly a dying art imho. It's definitely on a decline.

That said, I'd love to find a man who would take care of me. Open doors, pull out my chair. Ask me nicely for a date, even court me. I would happily cook and clean for him, darn his socks, knit him a sweater to keep him warm and smile while doing it. This society we are living in now, is not to my liking. While I am an intelligent girl, who is successful in my line of work and has been supporting my family and home for a long time, it's definitely not to my liking. I would love to be the backbone and support for a proud man who knew how to treat a lady like a lady.

I'm a simple girl. And I should have been born in the 30's or 40's. When men valued their women and women valued their men. Now days, it seems like no one really honors one another and no one has respect for the jobs that each other does. Equality is one thing, but ignoring respect and good treatment of each other for this independence is eating away at an already frayed societal structure.

I would rather cut my eyes with a razor.

I want an equal. I want a man who will go moshing with me. I want a mate, not a father-like figure. Vlech.
 
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