From a spiritual perspective, I don't know if a god exists, or "another life," but I will find out when I die, I guess. Just like you, Jan.
wegs, from my, as yet to be completed sentence of "Doing Time on Planet Earth", there are a few lessons that I believe that I have truly actually learned, and now fervently know - two of which are enumerated below :
1.) - A whole lifetime could be spent Debating/Discussing/Arguing the issues of Politics or Religion, without actually resolving the issues involved or producing any lasting tangible results from those Debates/Discussions/Arguments.
2.) - No single Person, of either Gender, male or female, can or will ever be able to honestly claim to have figured out the full Mindset/Behavior/Workings of any single Person of the opposite Gender, female or male - let alone either Gender of the same or opposite, as a whole or "across the board", so to speak.
wegs, honestly, to me, dmoe, it seems that you are in more of a "period of transition" of your beliefs, than to be actually firmly and fully "entrenched" in either one.
Again, to me, dmoe, it also seems that very few people ever actually do become "100% Fully Entrenched" in not just either of those Major Beliefs - but also minor beliefs/views/opinions. It would seem to me, dmoe, that most everyone always continue to "Hold On To" at least a minimal amount of reservations/skepticisms/maybes/possibilities, in relation to their personal beliefs/views/opinions.
wegs, I cannot in any way completely disagree with all or even any of your statements in your Posts. For more than the most part they are rational and reasonable expressions of wholesome and healthy views/opinions/outlooks, that I must firmly agree with!
wegs, I, dmoe, and must express that it is just my,solely individual, and completely amateurish opinion, that you "SEEM" to be experiencing a "period of transition".
Hang in there, wegs, the relaxed feeling of complete "Peace of Mind" or "Personal Fulfillment" or whatever the true and complete philosophical/emotional term is to describe...enlightenment?...is not, can not and should not be expected or demanded to be "Quick" in occurrence, nor even eventually happening at all!
Lifetimes can be entirely "spent" on the search or journey to such...enlightenment?...with only partial completion or enjoyment of such an..."Enlightened State?"...!
wegs, chin up, eyes open, positive mental attitude, always smile, always enjoy the "true great things" in life, maintain you bearing and the rewards you truly deserve and endeavor to earn will eventually amass themselves in your life and the lives of those who also honestly persevere in said endeavors!