i don't know. i kinda doubt it.
i was thinking "compassion", not love, so yeah, i misinterpreted it.
i think people should love each other, hurt or not.
Why Hell?
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i don't know. i kinda doubt it.
i was thinking "compassion", not love, so yeah, i misinterpreted it.
i think people should love each other, hurt or not.
Wow, I was just being snarky...as in who'd worship a deity as dickish as that?:bugeye:
Well...I don't know quite how to respond to that. I've just always observed that I will say things that seem to disturb other people and cause them to ostracize me.
It's certainly happened before. I certainly always think it best to expect it. As it's easier to simply avoid contact if possible.
People hurt.
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I think that such behavior can be a way to enforce one's boundaries, albeit not in a very productive and constructive manner.
Namely, instead of drawing a line, thinking and/or saying "I do not wish to associate with this person / I do not wish to talk about that / I do not wish to do that" and then acting accordingly (such as by leaving the place or turning to a different topic or task), one acts out, thereby effectively placing the responsibility for the upholding of one's own boundaries on the other person. Although such a strategy may bring about the desired result (ie. not associating with that person), it also has the side-effect of being disempowering, as one has not maintained one's boundaries oneself, but relied on the other person to do so.
An alternative to acting out would be to say No, to leave the place, turn to a different topic or task. In which case, one would maintain one's boundaries oneself - which feels empowering.
I think that avoidance hurts and disempowers oneself more.
No.
Why would I do that? if someone crosses a big enough line with me, they draw back a bloody stump.
I just say something I think funny, or I say something that's honest and not intended to offend.
That would not offend me.
That's actually intended to draw the other person in...
And they look at me as if I'd just squatted and peed on the floor or something.
Acting out would be be acting with an abusive intent.
At Mall-wart, when last I bought sports bras... I made the comment to a clerk who struck up a convo with me...that I was buying sports bras so I wouldn't go "floopfloopfloop" when I run.
The clerk was very offended, and I stumbled around in a haze afterward, feeling ill.
It's the sort of look I get from "nice churchgoing folks" when I'm in all black, wearing my boots, skull doo-rag and my pentacle on the outside of my shirt. The "you're going to hell, and I'm not," look.
Basically, it's a reaction I get in many cases from acting in what is for me a relaxed, genuine, and festive manner.
And it really deflates my mood badly.
I get the impression I'm too weird for most people to be comfortable with.
I mean...I also do it as a sorting mechanism for other people...but simply because that's what I want to look like, too. Like an overgrown adolescent.
....I mentioned that sometimes I didn't feel like living in a casual conversation once...which for me, is a pretty casual thing to say, and the guy grimaced in disgust and walked away.
This was years ago.
I haven't forgotten how profoundly different and wrong it made me feel.
So people don't understand and they hurt.
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I suppose one has to take responsibility for being the way one is, and one also has to take responsibility for living in the society one lives in.
Myself, I quite deliberately try to look and come across as average and as normal as possible.
But I work on having a private life. To me, it makes little sense, and is even dangerous, to wear my heart on the sleeve in one way or another. I experience a kind of delight to be able to behave in and experience many nuances in how I interact with others.
Myself, I quite deliberately try to look and come across as average and as normal as possible.
But I work on having a private life. To me, it makes little sense, and is even dangerous, to wear my heart on the sleeve in one way or another. I experience a kind of delight to be able to behave in and experience many nuances in how I interact with others.
You mask, then. Not to say I don't. But I do so to do things like...keep my job. I mask for survival. I refuse to mask in situations where I do not have to. Masking all the time can lead to loss of self...and tremendous bone-crunching loneliness in my experience.
Because who knows the real you? Sometimes not even you anymore.
Lying, my own lies and those of others, screw with my sense of reality. Therefore I lie for survival reasons-my job-and don't lie elsewise. Lies set up dueling voices in my head about what actually happened.
My idea of dangerous is to sit with my back to a an entry door.
My idea of dangerous is to allow someone to walk up behind you.
My idea of dangerous is not to be watching one's surroundings in public.
I've survived the worst the horrorshow in my head could provide now. So I'm a lot tougher inside than I used to be...
Someone said, as a reason why she dresses goth...: "The difference between radiating negativity when looking normal and radiating negativity when looking like I'm late for a date with Anton LaVey... is that the latter gets me left alone, and the former gets me $h!it on."
I don't see it as masking, though. It's simply a matter of practicality for me.
I don't feel threatened by appearing average.
i have experienced times when not radiating negativity was an impossible task. somehow i managed to survive without losing everything...my job, home, friends, family, etc. but for me, over time, to see those things at risk made me realize that radiating negativity was not appropriate behavior.
i hate lies, and i am really not good at faking it. it was a dilemma, according to how i felt and how i saw things.
after what i went through i, like you, became stronger. i felt like going through it i was forced to be ok with myself. i was constantly having to re-examine my own intentions, and being ok with myself. looking back, the more ok i became with myself, and the stronger i became, the less inclined i was to radiate negativity. it was certainly a process though. the whole time i felt like i was at war with the world, but in the end i realized that i was really at war with myself. does that make any sense?
the greatest demons we face are our own.
Well...I used to be angry.
Now it's more a sense of sadness and frustration...I like people these days, but fear them as well, and they don't like me.
I am starting to like myself again, but others seem not to.
And if I act like myself, which I seem to have to do to like myself, then I usually have that moment.
I dunno, maybe me 4.0 will do a better job of interaction.
personally, it is my belief that God doesn't want someone that HAS to love him (for he has the Angels for that), but rather someone that CHOOSES to love him. Hell is reserved primarily for those who commit incredible acts of evil (again, personally, I would think such things as child rapist/molesters and the like are right up there with mass-murderers, but that's just me) and/or those who reject the idea of salvation as a whole.
I don't like the idea that God is some angry super-entity bent on domination through the threat of eternal punishment - rather, I like to view Him as someone looking as much for the love of His children as the desire for His children to WANT to love him... for what is love that is forced? If you cannot help but love someone... is it still love? Just as we HAVE to breathe to live... if we HAD to love God... what would that "love" matter?
@ Cifo - thank you for stating what so desperately needed to be said - most "Christians" today are hypocrites in every sense of the word, from shunning and shaming those of other faiths to desiring terrible misfortunes upon those who do not believe "their" version of "The Word". It disgusts me... I consider myself a modified christian for the fact that, while I believe the bible is in fact a great read and full of important points and morals, it is NOT an absolute - it was written by man, translated by man, and has been distorted by man - not withstanding the fact that even if every word was the exact word of God Himself, it would still have been translated over and over by Man, right from the first writings. Thus, it is an imperfect book created by imperfect beings...
Christianity is NOT about persecuting others or pushing "your" religion as best... it is, at its core, about teaching and enlightening others who are looking for guidance... the crusades and other such debacles are almost entirely politically motivated
I don't like the idea that God is some angry super-entity bent on domination through the threat of eternal punishment - rather, I like to view Him as someone looking as much for the love of His children as the desire for His children to WANT to love him... for what is love that is forced? If you cannot help but love someone... is it still love? Just as we HAVE to breathe to live... if we HAD to love God... what would that "love" matter?
@ Cifo - thank you for stating what so desperately needed to be said - most "Christians" today are hypocrites in every sense of the word, from shunning and shaming those of other faiths to desiring terrible misfortunes upon those who do not believe "their" version of "The Word". It disgusts me... I consider myself a modified christian for the fact that, while I believe the bible is in fact a great read and full of important points and morals, it is NOT an absolute - it was written by man, translated by man, and has been distorted by man - not withstanding the fact that even if every word was the exact word of God Himself, it would still have been translated over and over by Man, right from the first writings. Thus, it is an imperfect book created by imperfect beings...
Christianity is NOT about persecuting others or pushing "your" religion as best... it is, at its core, about teaching and enlightening others who are looking for guidance... the crusades and other such debacles are almost entirely politically motivated
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This actually leads to an interesting question... what do you do when you share your body with another consciousness? Not multiple-personality or dementia mind you, but a separate entity that is, in itself, able to come and go as it pleases (or is needed). At first I had thought it merely some sort of defensive measure concocted by my own tortured mind to protect my/it-self from the dangers around... but even when the danger subsided and others came to know this entity, it became apparent that he was, in many ways, my guardian "angel" if you will.
It has been a long time now since he had to protect me, and often instead I simply get words of wisdom or little nuggets of insight (much to the chagrin and confusion of others facing the same difficulty or situation that I am) simply whispered to me by this entity... and I have come to know him as a friend. What confirmed to me that I wasn't simply crazy was the fact that other people around me were able to recognize when he was around (and when he would take over) and noted a decidedly apparent change in every aspect of my being, including even my eye color and accent.
:shrug:
Just thought it interesting to share
probably, but perhaps you're in the wrong environment. maybe you just need to seek out some like-minded people. :shrug: