Thank you Wisdom Seeker. I think we are finally getting somewhere. I will make it a point to add this to my reading list.
No problem; I'm looking forward to discuss them with you when you read them
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Have you by any chance had any Eureka moments in your quest? What made you decide there is a god - sorry i cant think of some cerebral way to phrase it.
I don't know if I would call them Eureka moments, but once my understanding of many religions grew I found myself being captured by an overwhelming feeling that came to me in certain moments.
I can give you one example: you can read the New Testament superficially, and I did use to read it superficially when I was younger. I now realize I didn’t quite understand it until I studied many other religions and philosophies. When I felt that my understanding was higher (not only by reading, but applying certain teachings in my life), I re-read the NT with a different “light”. During my listening to an audio book of the “Sermon on the Mount” while sitting in semi-lotus posture with my eyes closed, my heart was filled with joy and tears were running through my face. I cannot describe this feeling very accurately, and I cannot find a better word for it than “Love”; but it is a very strange kind of Love, because it is not directed to anyone or any object in particular. Love is there, that is undeniable; but as to why, and how I don’t know the start of it.
It is like one of those feelings that you can only enjoy, the idea does not come into your mind to question it. It happens as an inner-realization of one’s truth I guess (like a thief in the night, without notice).
What made you decide there is a god - sorry i cant think of some cerebral way to phrase it.
I have not decided anything really; I decided many things when I was younger but I know now that spirituality is never static, as in having the final answer for something. At least for me it isn’t.
And by personal experience I know that is very easy to believe in something, it gives a sense of stability and you can then focus on other things. If you have already decided that god exists (or decided he is not), then you will cease to look for “him/it”; and I somehow feel that spirituality is a never-ending search.
I recall something Buddha said, something like Human Beings have a “desiring quality” for completion, which comes from the sense of imperfection. In order to mitigate this desire, we create many imaginary objects of desire (some seek for material goals and some for spiritual goals) and there is where we miss the point. Buddha said that desire is not the problem, the problem is the imaginary objects of desire that we create; and that after full enlightenment the objects of desire disappear, while the desire remains, it is your true nature (pure, uncorrupted desire).