My son died 4 years ago. I was an angry man for a couple of years, not at anything almighty but more at society for it's lack of understanding. I wont get into my exact meaning for that, it's a long story I have no need to dwell over. I will however mention that I felt no need to pass his death onto something nobody can see. God is like the ultimate scapegoat or fall-guy. We have tragedy and it's all washed away by knowing God had his reasons for doing it. To me that is a cop-out. I understand the grief as much as anyone else, and more than some, but can accept things the way they are without needing to point the finger at a big invisible being.. That's not to say laying blame even but finding the only way to gain comfort from loss is to have an 'imaginary friend'.
I have worked for the past 8 years on strange, unexplained phenomena.... All fields- ufo's, bigfoot, you name it. I would agree with anyone 100% that strange occurences do happen. A prime example of this:
Three months ago I was sitting at this very computer playing an online game when i saw a clear figure in white walk past the computer, (reflection in the monitor). I whizzed my head round thinking it was my wife sneaking up on me- i even said "got ya!" There was nobody there... I searched the house and eventually phoned my wifes mobile. She was out shopping. It shook me up a great deal so I told her to come home quickly. That night I learnt a good friend of mine had died in a car crash. I believe she was trying to give me some kind of message perhaps. However as much as this is a strange event there is nothing to reason it to being God, or an activity of God.
A good friend of mine, and a co-worker with unusual phenomenon was in his bath relaxing. The room exploded into a shower of glass but no windows were broken. He was not hurt by this but we still have the remains he swept up. The glass objects are the size of decanter tops and the bathroom floor was literally covered with them. Ok, it is a strange event, but again I fail to see the significance between paranormal phenomenon and God.
The simple truth is we do not know. As an investigator my job is to find answers, but let me tell you i dont ever expect to find any. It is you who attributes someones lack of belief in God as anger, but perhaps you are as wrong as the next man? A book just doesn't justify absolute truth for me. I will continue to search, indeed for the rest of my life, because that's what makes me human. I will never fall into the trap of just assuming i'm 100% correct without argument. This is where we differ. Our commonalities are neither of us have the facts, you just believe you do.
As for your Africa experience..... I read about these shamans in South America who healed a man from cancer. it was filmed and certified as genuine. Those shamans believed in a completely different God to you.. Does that make their God true and your God false? Like i said, strange things do and will happen. People will accept their own answers whether there's any basis in truth to it or not. I would rather just search for that truth. I know, i know it will never arrive but I can't just hand in my gloves and accept the first thing im told.
Can i be so bold as to ask whether you're a self-found God believer or mummy-faith believer? I use the term mummy-faith to describe someone who believes something because their parents taught them to. I'm not making attempt to be personal or rude I am just curious.. (curiosity and questioning are my best attributes)
What makes me chuckle slightly is how easy we can differentiate between good and evil without knowing what's going on. For instance your prayer for an earthquake is a good thing, whereas a ouija board causing an earthquake is an act of satan or other evil whether it hurts anyone or not. How do you justify between the two? Again, i'm just curious.
Btw I know exactly how it is, but if you'd like to talk things over about your child i'd be more than willing to help in any way I can and offer you my ears. It's something none of us should ever have to go through and you have my most heartfelt condolences.